Trust me, trust you
by birobird93
Summary: Bella meets Edward at Forks high. He is a new student...and he has a past and also has trouble opening up to and trusting other people. Bella is intrigued. Meanwhile, can Edward finally trust Bella, let her in and experience their connection in time...?
1. Green, green eyes BPOV

I stared out the windows of the classroom as thick sheets of brackish drain water ran down the glass.

The leaves on the roof must have stained the water, it was brown. I sighed, taking in the surroundings—my desk, the teacher, the dirty rain water—Mike. I groaned internally. He leaned casually against my side of the desk. I didn't share it with anyone—thank the lord Mike already had a lab partner when I came to Forks three months ago.

Yeah, it was a dreary town. Scarcely populated, limited resources, but it was now where I called home, no matter how unwillingly. I only came here for Charlie. After Billy died, he needed someone and since Renee and Phil were going out on the road, I thought I may as well. I shuddered at the thought of Charlie living alone—although he had done so for seventeen years. I couldn't help but imagine the meals he had tried to create in the box of a kitchen at home. That box of a kitchen was now my sanctuary.

The faded yellow cabinets were so familiar to me now, I actually couldn't fathom a life without them. I frowned at myself. "Yo, Bella?" Mike waved a hand in front of my face. I flinched back and shook my head in a daze. "Sorry," I muttered sheepishly. "I've got my head in the clouds." Mike just looked at me. Glanced around then went back to talking about some football game he totally won—on the Xbox. I sighed and just stared blankly at his face. I smiled and nodded when I thought the times were appropriate.

This went on for at least ten minutes until the teacher finally started talking. For once I was relieved to have the class start.

I had already done this lab in Phoenix, this would be a cake walk...and it was.

Mike and his lab partner, Eric, were fumbling with the second slide of prophase when I had finished all eight slides.

I slouched down, grabbing my book bag and pulling my novel out. _Wuthering Heights._ I was up to the part when Heathcliff comes back when the bell rang. I made a glance back at Mike and Eric—not nearly finished—with a smug smile, I got up and fled into the bustling hallways of Forks high. I hadn't even reached my locker when I was tackled by Alice.

"Rawwrr!" she growled, amazingly able to sound disturbing, despite her pixie face. I made a mock expression of horror. "Ahh! Oh my god, it's—it's horrible!" I fake cried. She playfully slapped my arm. I grinned down at my best friend, she was short and petite, her black spiky hair making her look even more enchanted. She poked her tongue at me and started her combination on her locker. We stowed our books away and retreated to the crowded cafeteria. We sat at our usual table.

Alice had graciously accepted me into her group when I arrived earlier this year. Our table was occupied by Emmett Brandon—the burly football player and Alice's brother, Rosalie Hale—Emmett's girlfriend, Jasper—Alice's boyfriend and Rosalie's older brother, Jessica Stanley, Angela Webber and—sigh—Mike Newton.

There was a spare seat next to Jasper, which Alice flitted over to and another spare seat next to Mike. I gulped, swallowing my loathe and sat down. I tried to ignore his leering, glancing around the cafeteria instead, hoping he would give up and start flirting with Jessica. But he didn't. He even had the nerve to put his hand on my knee. I swallowed the bile rising in my throat. I nonchalantly shook it off. "I'm going to get something to eat," I murmured, stalking off.

I chanced a peek back, and like I had planned, Mike turned to Jessica, who was more than happy. She flipped her hair and put her hand on Mike's shoulder. I rolled my eyes and continued to the line, buying a bottle of lemonade. I handed over the three dollars, vaguely aware that the lunch lady was glaring at my non-politeness.

I couldn't care, frankly. Dorothy, it said on her name badge. How cliché. Dorothy the lunch lady. I took my lemonade and started, hesitantly to my table.

I bit my lip, unsure whether or not to pick an empty table or go back to ours. Alice glanced at me, frowning. I shrugged. I also stupidly trusted my feet to get me across the level surface of the cafeteria floor. I tripped up, dropping my lemonade. "Dammnit!" I grumbled, sighing then running to catch it before it rolled out the door.

I encountered a pair of feet...in Nikes. I slowly raised my head. _Holy mother_. There was a boy standing right before me, the picture of perfection. From his chiselled jaw line, to his straight nose and sculpted lips. Then—last but in no god damn way least—his _hair_. It was a bronze colour, tousled but gelled into a careful array.

I gaped, unable to stand up right or make myself talk. I probably looked like a caveman. I almost expected myself to grunt, bash him on the head with my stick and drag him to my cave. Police Chief Swan would be exultant. I had forgotten about everyone in the room.

This boy must be new, I definitely would have remembered a fellow student like him. He bent down then, scooping up my lemonade bottle, handing it to me without a word, his face remaining blank. I stared as he brushed past me, I felt like I had been zapped. There must have been a lot of static in the air today. He strolled to the table in the corner, propped his feet up on the table, plugged his IPod ear buds in and ignored everyone else. His eyes—his eyes were a bright green shade.

I shuddered, not cold at all.

**Tell me what you guys think of troubled-broken Edward. Reviews would be much appreciated. I will probably do two more chapters and stop if i dont get any reviews. Love.**


	2. Loneliness EPOV

EPOV

I walked into the cafeteria, abundant with hormones.

I cringed. From outside, I could see a tall blonde chick making out with her boyfriend. He was _huge_. I sighed, opening the door in resignation. I kicked something. Looking down, I found a lemonade bottle and a girl. Huh. She seemed to be having trouble.

She looked up at me and gaped. I was going to ask is I had something on my face but then thought better of it. She would probably just brush me off, pretend I didn't exist...but I liked it that way. It was better than conversing with everyday people. Speaking of monotonous, I glanced around at the students here, hurriedly eating, blissfully ignorant. I leant down, scooped up the bottle and handed it to the brown-haired girl.

When I looked into her eyes I felt a current of electricity flow through me. I held back a gasp of surprise. She was very pretty. Beautiful even. I bit my tongue and strode past her, successfully dodging a conversation which would most likely end badly anyway. She probably hated people like me, loners. I sat down at an empty table, put on my IPod and got my book out. _Wuthering Heights._ I peeked from the corner of my eye back over at the girl. She had moved. I searched the room, my eyes glazing over the jocks at one particular table. Then my eyes settled on that thick brown hair, her pale face.

She was sitting at the jock table. I almost rolled my eyes.

Of course, someone like that was bound to be popular, bound to already have a dip shit boyfriend.

And, of course, she was sitting next to some douche bag. He must be her boyfriend, the one with the football t-shirt, the spiky blonde hair drowned in gel. I made a disgusted noise in the back of my throat when he slid his hand up her thigh. Surprisingly, she flinched away, I raised my eyebrows.

He hardly seemed to notice, instead he put his arm around the back of her seat. At that moment, I felt pity for the girl, almost sympathy, and another strange urge that I couldn't put a name to. Watching people chat and laugh together was making me nauseous and depressed. I missed it sometimes, human interaction. But I would rather pay the price of loneliness than the alternative...

FLASHBACK

"Mum, can you buy me another copy of Wuthering Heights?" I asked innocently, looking up at her from my cereal. She sighed and rolled her eyes. "What's wrong with the copy I bought you?" she asked, perking an eyebrow. I bit my lip.

"Well, you see, letting the cat inside my room isn't the best idea, seeing as they tend not to be toilet trained as well as you and I." Mum stared at me and just said. "Ew," I half-smiled. "Yeah," I nodded. "The pages stick together. Apparently, cat pee isn't good for books." I shrugged. She snorted and stood up from her chair at the table, dashing to the hook on the wall where she keeps her keys. "Well," she began, shrugging on her jacket.

"I do have to find that new edition cook book I wanted. And your father wanted to see about getting a new sofa. Apparently, your books aren't the only thing the cat thinks she owns." She sighed. I screwed up my face. She laughed at my expression then called out for my dad. He came trotting downstairs.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm coming." He leapt off the bottom step and launched himself at my mother, gathering her up and kissing her on the mouth. I made a gagging noise, deciding it was best to leave that part of their lives to the imagination—not that I wanted to imagine _that_—and went back to inhaling my fruit loops. Dad chuckled and started making disturbing kissing and slurping noises while mum giggled like an embarrassed school girl. I looked back at them and my mum beamed at me then took my dad by the hand, waving behind them as they made their way out the door.

That was the very last time I saw my parents.

_5:48p.m._ I bit my thumb nail, nervous and wondering where the hell my parents were. I would have been home already even if I'd gone out. They left at eleven that morning. Maybe they decided to do some shopping in the city tonight. I didn't blame them. Dad's job could be so stressful. They desperately needed the time off. Maybe I was just stressing about nothing—like I always do. _8:04p.m._ I had the cordless in my hand, redialling Mum and Dad's cells.

Nothing, just voice mail. I sighed, throwing the phone on the counter.

The least they could do was call home if they were going to be late. Now I was getting angry and frustrated, but only did I realise later that it was just a defence mechanism. I had already known something was wrong—gravely wrong. My mind just wasn't processing it—didn't even want to consider it. So I chose to be frustrated instead. The doorbell rang. I sighed in relief. "Coming!" I yelled, racing to open the locks.

"It's about time you guys—" I stopped short, my face probably paled. At my front door were two cops. Both men. They were around my height, both averagely muscular, their eyes grave. I gulped. "Yes?" I breathed, my vision going slightly blurry. I clenched and unclenched my fists. They shared a glance, before one nodded and looked into my eyes. The next words were like stabs to the chest. "You must be Edward Mason...?" I nodded. "I'm so sorry, son. But I'm afraid there's been an accident.

You're parents—they were killed in the collision." He stated, his voice soft and sad. I breathed in rigidly. One of them put a hand on my shoulder. I vaguely noticed that they were saying other things. My mind was elsewhere. My parents. They were gone. And it was my fault.

FINISH OF FLASHBACK

I paused in the middle of a sentence. I flipped to the front page of the book. On the inside of the cover was a note. _To Edward, Don't leave this one on the floor for the cat again. Love, Mum and Dad._ My fingers stroked the pen lines, lost in the past. I breathed slowly, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat.

I went back to the page I was on, glancing up at the girl every once and a while.


	3. Art BPOV

BPOV

The rest of that day passed my eyes so slowly.

I was looking forward to art. It would keep me busy, let me take out my frustrations and worries. I smiled as I made my way down the corridor to the art room, which was creatively splattered with paint to make it look like an art room. I turned the handle on the door, not paying attention to the fact that there may be someone on the other side. I opened in it, only to realise someone was already opening it—from inside. The door smacked into my face.

I yelled. "Fuck!" Then I realised with sickening certainty that everyone was now staring at me.

A smug faced Tyler had his hand on the door, the other only partially stretched out to help me. The pain in my nose wasn't that bad. The wood had only slightly hit it, not enough force to cause a break, at least not a bad one. I stumbled backward, holding my hand to my nose.

I carefully pinched the bridge of my nose with my thumb and forefinger. It was a little tender but not too bad. I sighed, checking to see if I was bleeding. A little. I reached into my pocket for one, bringing it to my nose then shoving past Tyler as I walked in. What a crap hole of a day. All the students in the room were blatantly staring at me, clamping their mouths shut to keep from laughing—either at my bloody nose or the fact I screamed the f-word at the top of my lungs.

I scowled, throwing my bag down onto the ground beside my desk and sitting at the tall stool I used every lesson. I had started a painting a few weeks ago, the canvas was only covered in a thin base coat of paint. I had started drafting the shapes on the background. They were people. I hadn't really planned out much of this piece like I usually do. With this one, I had just let my imagination flow through my paint brush, taking the painting wherever my mind took me. My nose had eventually stopped bleeding when I looked up, scoping the room for anymore staring asses. My eyes met a pair of green ones. I quickly looked away, blushing.

I turned to grab my canvas—it was heavy. The trolley of paint was next to my desk, so I didn't have to go far to get my stuff. I like using the good stuff, not the crappy, two-dollar paint the teachers bought from Wal-Mart. There was also stuff they ordered in—it was the best stuff.

Proper, good-quality paint. None of the other students seemed to notice the difference, but I certainly did. I went to grab the cobalt blue when a pale, white, long hand reached in front of mine, our hands brushing. I gasped a little. It was like he had zapped me. I looked up at him, the boy from the cafeteria. "Sorry," he mumbled, looking down. "You can have it." He moved his hand to another pot of paint—scarlet. "Thanks," I smiled. He just walked back to his seat, always looking down, like he was afraid to be noticed. Believe me, I knew what that felt like. Attention was so overrated. I glanced over at Lauren, who was eyeing the new guy hungrily.

I felt a pang of irritation and disgust. I would do my hardest to make sure she didn't get her ugly claws into him.

It seemed too much of a waste to let Lauren Mallory take advantage of that poor guy. And it would probably be easy for her as well, seeing as he's so vulnerable, being new and all. I remembered what it felt like, I still feel like it sometimes and I know Lauren is a lot like a male version of Mike. Mike, trying to use the fact that I was new to his advantage. Though I made it clear that I only liked him as a friend—hardly. But I was just being polite. Even after that, the line seemed to blur with him.

I sighed, Lauren looked in my direction and glowered. I raised an eyebrow, rolled my eyes and grabbed my stuff, making my way to the far corner of the room.

Hardly anybody came down this way. All the supplies were further up the front of the classroom. Like this morning, I was lost in my thoughts, except now they revolved around that boy. The boy with no name, I had just realised. I didn't even know his name, yet somehow I was pining stupidly over him—something Lauren or Jessica would do.

I made a quiet, disgusted noise in the back of my throat then tried to occupy my thoughts with my painting, every now and then, sparing a glance at him. By the end of class, I had hardly made any progress on my piece. Instead, I realised I had been drawing sets of green eyes across my art diary. My eyes widened.

I shut the book quickly before anyone saw, shook my head at myself and made to put all my art stuff away. The teacher looked at me quizzically then fled the room, desperate for a coffee I presumed. I was too, come to think of it. Not exactly coffee per say, just caffeine.

I dropped my brushes in the trolley, turned away and smacked into someone.

I fell back, they caught my arm to steady me. I knew who it would be, even before I looked.

I laughed nervously. "Thanks, sorry." I murmured, my cheeks flaring pink. He just shrugged and reached past me to drop his brushes on the same trolley. His arm came so close to me, I felt my breathing hitch. _Retard_. My thoughts shouted at me. I shouldn't be reacting this way. I mentally cursed myself. "So, what's your name?" I asked, quietly.

He looked down at me with a puzzled expression and then frowned. "What's it to you?" he asked, I don't think it was meant to come out coldly, just merely curious. I shrugged this time. "You're new, right? I came here just three months ago. So I kinda know what it's like being the new thing to stare at." I scowled at his shoulder.

His face stayed mostly blank, but the ghost of a smile flashed across his face before disappearing.

Then, he turned around, grabbed his books and started to storm out. He paused at the doorway, hand on the knob. I stared at his back, wondering why he was so aloof. "Edward. My name's Edward." I smiled, even though he didn't see. "I'm Bella." I told him, feeling proud that I was the first person he seemed to talk to. "Bella." He repeated, nodding. I cocked my head, curiously. Before I could say anything else, he walked out the door. "Bye." I said to the empty room.

**Reviews Reviews Reviews Reviews!!! I'm literally on my effing knees. Begging for reviews. Preferrably nice ones. But then again, you know, I should take what I get. LOVE LOVE LOVE.**


	4. Friends EPOV

I sat down in the art room next to some girl with straight blonde hair and sickly perfume. I wanted to gag, but I shouldn't judge, she could be a nice person. I sighed, stowing my bag on the floor and propping head on my hand, staring at the front of the room.

The art teacher came to my desk then, handing me a sheet that told me what this semester was on—abstract impressionism. She directed me to some blank canvases and handed me an art diary to practice and sketch out ideas in. I peeked at the girl next to me, she smiled seductively, winking.

I quickly averted my gaze, not wanting that kind of attention from her.

She was about to say something when we heard a loud curse from the door. "Fuck!" a girl screeched.

My eyebrows shot up—scandalous language at a seemingly conservative establishment, it was Forks after all.

A guy, my age, brown hair and skin stood at the door with his hand on the knob, a smirk on his face.

There was a girl—the girl from the cafeteria—standing there, her hand clamped to her nose. I frowned.

This guy was a douche bag; it looked like he was amused after hitting a girl in the face with a door. I watched as she stormed in the room, hiding behind her hair—her thick mahogany curls—and made her way to a desk, by herself.

I almost got up and asked if she was okay.

But that would add fuel to the fire—my need for human interaction, and I couldn't gather the strength to do so, so I just watched. She grumbled silently, scowling at the floor while she picked up a rather large canvas. She seemed to notice my intrusive gaze, looking up and meeting my eyes.

She quickly looked away, blushing behind her hair. I frowned—why did she have to hide her face? She must not be a people person. Fair enough, I wasn't either, nor did I intend to start.

***

After learning the mystery girl's name, I felt so extremely exposed. I had actually spoken to her, she had spoken to me.

I heard her faint goodbye through the door as I stalked off, afraid of my conversing.

Afraid that if I got to know her, we might become _friends_.

I was in no position to have friends, I wasn't in the right frame of mind and in no way did I deserve them. I shouldn't have told her my name. I shouldn't have touched her. The feel of her against me—I couldn't breathe. I nailed it down to just the complete lack of physical contact from anyone.

That must be the reason for my weird reaction—my incapability to form a coherent sentence...the electric current that sizzled in my veins. I shook my head vigorously from side to side, jumping in my Volvo and speeding out of the parking lot, only just missing a light pole on the way out.

I shouldn't involve myself in other people. It was only asking for trouble. I only had enough room in my head for Carlisle.

Even letting myself talk to him was asking a lot from the Universe. I needn't push my luck any farther then. The purr of the engine came to complete silence. I glanced out my window—I was already at home. I was surprised, firstly at how quick the trip was, secondly, how I managed to make it all the way without the faintest idea of where I was going. This town was completely new to me. I didn't mind Forks.

There were hardly any people here, though that fact could be categorised into two opposite things. Good: There were less people, as previously stated. That meant that there were less people to run into, to strike a conversation with, to get to know. Then there was bad: There were less people here. It was a small town, everybody knew everybody. I cringed at that thought. Everyone in town could already know my name already.

People were bound to get to know me, even if I didn't want them to. Unless Carlisle kept his mouth shut. No matter how grateful I was for him taking me in less than a year ago, I still didn't want him freely sharing my personal life with anyone, anyone at all.

And, I was pretty sure that he wouldn't be flapping his gums to his friends or co-workers—or Esme. Esme was Carlisle's girlfriend, fiancée—I wasn't sure, but I knew they weren't married. I had only lived with Carlisle for several months, but I already felt like I knew him, which was dangerous territory. I made a mental note to slowly detach myself from him. I would be polite, as always toward him and Esme if need be, but I wouldn't talk personally.

It wasn't worth it. The tingling sensation in my arms didn't stop all night. I could hardly sleep, my mind submerged in a pool of brown. Two pools of chocolate brown to be exact—those chocolate brown eyes. I groaned gutturally, pulling my pillow onto my face and sighing, trying to catch some shut eye.

My mind drifted into an unconscious slumber, finally numbing. But I had hoped for a dreamless sleep—looks like I was asking too much, again. This time, my dream revolved around a car crash. I was actually in the car, watching my parents from the back seat, talking joyfully. I smiled at them. Then the car collided, they screamed.

No sound would come from my mouth. Suddenly, I appeared to be outside of the car, feet away, watching my mother and father trying to claw their way out of the crumpled mess of metal. I still couldn't find my voice. It was as if I had watched them die—it was me who had asked my mother to go out anyway.

If I had just gone out myself, they would still be here. I looked straight into my mother's pleading eyes, thick blood gushing from a wound on her head. She lifted a pale hand to me. "Help," she whispered in a scratchy, eerie voice. I woke with a start, sweat beading on my forehead and neck.

I shuddered, gathering my legs up and sitting in the foetal position. I clenched my eyes shut, shaking my head, rocking back and forth until the images went away. I couldn't stand them. Instead, I let myself think of that girl—Bella. I breathed a sigh of relief, relaxing back onto my pillow. _Bella... _Strange, that I should invest my sanity into something as flimsy and unreliable as teenage relationships. But, something told me I had nothing to worry about. I closed my eyes again, breathing slowly, feeling my chest heave up and down with each inhale. I could feel my tensed muscles relaxing again, not expecting the release the thought of a mere girl would give me.

I pulled the covers back over me, I had gotten cold again. I wondered about the girl. I wondered what she was like. Of course, I hardly knew her, but she seemed different, 180 degrees from what the rest of the female student body seemed to be—shallow, self-involved and superficial.

I didn't know why I was endowing so much thought into the subject, I didn't think it was too healthy. Maybe I was travelling on dangerous territory again. I couldn't afford to find people interesting, surely if people learnt my history, they'd exile me from their lives. I'd lose them, but not quite in the same way I was used to. I sighed wistfully at the thought of having a friend. Friend—what did the word mean anymore? What was a friend? Can anyone really define it?

I certainly couldn't, not for certain. I combed through my brain. A friend was a friend—someone who asks you about your day, someone who knows how to treat you when your upset, someone who just gets you, I supposed. I doubted anyone would get me. I felt like I was drowning in my own pit of self-loathe and angst.

Teenage angst—I shuddered. But then again, I couldn't really be put in the same category as those people at school.

They had yet to experience the loss I had, to know what it was like to have the ground ripped out from under you.

I pondered friendship some more. Was it possible I could have a friend? I didn't know...maybe.

Maybe this Bella would be willing to at least talk to me, I mean what harm could come from talking.

We didn't even have to be friends exactly, just someone to ease my suffering with small talk—nothing full of too much depth, and that was alright.

I fell asleep after not too long, dreaming but not remembering them in the morning, for which I was grateful.

In the morning, Carlisle greeted me with an impossibly bright smile, showing teeth and all.

I grimaced, nodding in his direction and giving a short yet methodically polite, "Thanks. Have a good day at work." As I reached for the plate of food he had made me for breakfast. Well, crap. I felt like the biggest schmuck. I ate, got ready for school and headed out to my car, not glancing at anything around me.

Like I had always known but never put into practice until now—ignorance was bliss.

Letting the Volvo purr into life, I wound down the driveway and onto the long highway to Forks High.

**Again, *take moment to sigh* I am begging for reviews. My need for approval trumps my self-respect. Shall I rub your feet?**


	5. Dr Cullen BPOV

In my haste to get to school, I tripped on the loose gravel outside my house. I had screamed like bloody murder when my hand came into contact with a sharp piece of corrugated iron next to Charlie's driveway. God hated me, I knew it.

He must have seen me steal that plastic beaded bracelet from a cheap market when I was 10.

Obviously, this had cursed me with ineptness to the point that I should have a caution sticker stuck to my forehead and bubbled wrap around me. I was on my hands and knees, the hot, metallic smelling blood trickling kind of quickly onto the ground. My stomach lurched. I covered my mouth with the back of my good hand.

It was Charlie's day off today, so he wasted no time in barging out of the front door and gathering me up in his arms.

"Bells, what the hell happened?" he demanded, pulling me inside. I sniffed, even though I was used to this. I gingerly raised my palm to let him study it.

He sucked in a breath, I tried to think about rainbows and unicorns instead of the hot pulsing redness coming from my hand. "Jeeze, Bells. You've gotten it right down to the bone!" he breathed. I frowned because he sounded more impressed than concerned, even though I didn't like attention in any form.

But of course, my clumsiness made sure I was at the forefront of attention whenever I clipped the door jam and tripped in class or fallen in the drive way and sliced my hand on some rusty metal. I hated to admit that this had happened more than once. Sigh. "Uh, I know how much I hate hospitals and everything, but I guess we should get it checked out, right?" I asked sheepishly, knowing I needed a tetanus shot. I chanced a peek at my wet palm held carefully in Charlie's hands.

"Yeah." He agreed, pulling me out of the house, taking my bag off my shoulder and throwing it back inside. He locked the door then and motioned to the cruiser. Instead of insisting that I drive my truck, I reluctantly got in Charlie's police cruiser, another part of my life that seemed painful and embarrassing.

The small population and therefore interesting news in Forks, kept the residence in on everything, especially who the police chief was and his daughter. Everyone knew me here now, even leaving out the fact I had only arrived three months ago. Back in Phoenix, I'm sure there were still plenty of people who didn't know who I was or recalled what I looked like in school. A healthy student body of hundreds of people ceased the ease of getting to know everyone.

Like it was possible, anyway. Not like in Forks. I was pretty well aware of almost everyone's name in my year, almost all the juniors.

I watched the rain spatter against the tinted glass of my window as my dad drove me to Fork's seldom used ER.

Seldom used because there were hardly any emergencies other than the rather rare car accident or heart attack. Never before had Forks seen the likes of me, I had been to the same ER at least three times in as many months. I sighed, greeting the receptionist—she knew me by name now.

I had my hand wrapped up like a present in a now bloody wash cloth that Dad had grabbed on the way out of the house.

We walked straight in to an examination room, no need for a wait. There was hardly anyone here today.

I glanced around me at the standard, clinical-ness of the room. The white paper thing that covered the bed, the office chair that the doctor sat on, wheeling back to the desk to write something down once in a while, the fluorescent light above, the dull green of the walls, the incredibly breath taking model/doctor standing before my eyes—wait.

_Holy crap on a cracker!_

My word, why was he even living in a dead-end town like this? He smiled warmly at Charlie and me before introducing himself.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Cullen, but please, call me Carlisle." He leant down to Charlie, stretching his hand out to shake it. He offered a hand to me too, but withdrew when he saw the bloody cloth. He could be working for Calvin Klein, never have to work another day in his life with that face of his, yet he sat down anyway, taking my hand in his and looking closely at it before turning to his desk and pulling out a syringe and a bottle of clear serum. I closed my eyes, decided that it was best not to watch unless the good doctor wanted to get new shoes.

I heard a soft melodic chuckle. "I read your chart, Miss Swan. It seems this happens quite a lot." He commented. I repressed a groan. "Yes." Was all I said. Charlie piped in then. "Thank you for doing this Dr. Cullen. Not just for fixing Bella up but for coming to such a small town and blessing us with your expertise." I wanted to roll my eyes. "Absolutely." Dr. Cullen replied. "Again, call me Carlisle. Dr. Cullen feels too formal."

I left the emergency room with a freshly bandaged limb, my fingers a little stiff and numb from the anaesthetic.

It was only ten-fifteen so I told Charlie to take me to school. He grumbled half the way, stopped to get my bag and then let it go, knowing I would whinge if he forced me to stay home today. I arrived just in time for the start of third period. I managed to live through History, boring enough to make me slip into a coma and made my way to fourth period—Biology.

I sat down at my usual seat, Mike, again, following me and asking me about my hand. I shrugged and told him I always had something wrong with me.

He laughed a little too much at my dry humour. I resisted the urge to roll my eyes at him and bat him across the head with my cinder block of a text book. I had told Mike in the past that our relationship was and always will be plutonic, but he just saw it as another challenge to overcome.

He heedlessly ignored Jessica—the girl who was in love with him—when I was around. She resented me for this, and I didn't feel like defending myself. I felt horrible about it. But when it came to Mike and his unwillingness to let me be, I couldn't find it in me to feel guilty about rejecting him.

Besides, its not like he would suddenly give up and go all depressed about it. That wasn't who he was, he would ask again the next day, slip in a hint or suggestive comment into one of our conversations. "So, does your nose hurt much?" he asked, sitting on the edge of my desk.

I looked up at him and blinked before realising I had a door smacked into my face yesterday. I had totally forgotten. "Oh, yeah, um, it's fine. Thanks." I said, smiling half-heartedly, knowing a full grin would just encourage him. "No problem," he half-smiled. I stared at him for a moment and wondered if he was trying to be seductive.

I bit back the urge to laugh or vomit. My saviour—the teacher walked in then, disrupting Mike's attempts to flirt with me. I averted my attention to today's lesson and trained my eyes to the board at the front of the room. Mr. Banner let us out three minutes early for lunch. The class rejoiced, stampeding out into the halls.

I wanted to wait until everyone was gone, but instead, Mike waited for me. We walked to the cafeteria together. I swear he almost tried to hold my hand.

To make him understand that was not okay, I stuffed my hands into my hoodie pockets. Rounding the corner, my face came into contact with something—someone.

Before I could stagger back and retort a "watch where you're going!" A pair of arms caught me, pale, long, lean yet muscular. I smiled.

"Oh, sorry. Edward, I didn't see you there." I apologised, my cheeks colouring. He shrugged. "That's okay, Bella." I beamed, he said my name. _Um, you're an idiot._

My subconscious told me. _Shutup!_ The other voice told it. _Sigh._ "I'll see you in sixth period." He murmured. I just nodded vigorously. He smiled half-heartedly.

It wasn't a real smile, like it was painful to do so or something. He brushed past me, his forearm connecting with my shoulder. The zap. I could feel it.

He harboured some serious static with him, maybe he'd been rubbing his feet against the carpet in the library. Mike interrupted my thoughts by tugging on my arm, trying to pull me through to the cafeteria. "Who was that guy?" he asked sullenly. I bit my lip.

"The new kid." I felt suddenly guilty for branding him as "The New Kid" just like everyone here had branded me when I first came to their school.

I followed Mike to our table and stole glances at Edward who sat at the far end of the room.

Alone.

Again.

**Ahem *whistles for attention* Please R&R if you would like the coninutation of this story. The best is yet to come...obviously coz this stuff seems all kinds of crap and unnecessary fluff. But anywho, I would love to hear what people think of it. If I should continue writing for your enjoyment and mine or if I should stick to my day job (reading better fan fiction than this, which applies to everyone) Onward!**


	6. Contact EPOV

Just a few words.

A few words uttered so casually sent me into an oblivion. I was worried I was falling into a trap. I kept telling myself I was just being paranoid and the social depravity was wearing on my nerves, making them frayed and sensitive. I had been rounding the corner, keeping close to the wall to _avoid_ making physical contact with anyone, especially Bella. But then again, fete didn't owe me, I had to suffer like the rest of them. I let out a gust of breath when I was finally out of earshot from Bella and the other kid.

What was his name? I didn't know. I felt cold all over, Bella smiled at me like I was a freaking life preserve. I shook my head, clearing my thoughts, knowing I was completely overreacting. It was just shock. Shock from being touched for the first time in months. Even if it was just a brush of skin, not even skin against skin in this case.

I ran into her in the hallway—literally.

She barged into me, I had to catch her so she wouldn't fall over, most likely be fussed over for the rest of the day.

I could tell she wouldn't find that too comfortable, well, at least I wouldn't. I had probably scared her with my aloofness. I didn't expect she would tolerate me for much longer. When I realised how obsessed I seemed to be about a few words shared in the hallway at school, I rolled my eyes at myself.

Though I know I did tend to over analyse things. I met with my table again, alone. I listened to my IPod, not really caring what song it was, just to drown out the buzzing conversation around me. But I couldn't turn the music loud enough. I didn't know what it was, maybe because I had been watching people from the side lines for so long, never being involved, I had become exceptionally observant, or intuitive. Across the room were a girl and a boy who seemed to be having a lover's quarrel.

I stared, despite my disgust for their petty and trivial dramas, I was still intrigued. I couldn't quite hear them properly, but I got the gist of the conversation. The boy was asking why the girl had blown him off over the weekend. She was trying to change the topic, brushing off his question, telling him he was looking too far into it.

I smirked. Right. She took a defensive stance, crossing her arms across her chest and refused to look him in the eye. This was a piece of cake to decipher.

Did he not know she was cheating on him? It was obvious to me. Her eyes, her posture—everything said guilt. It was written all over her face, almost as if I could pluck the thoughts from her head. I should go over there and just lay the truth out on the table for them. Get it over with before it got ugly.

But I knew I didn't have the strength or interest to approach them. I pitied the boy, felt a slight pang of sympathy. He seemed nice enough from afar. But then, it did get ugly. He slammed his hand down on the table with a loud smack, turning the attention of everyone in the room to them.

The girl looked around sheepishly, and glared back at him, hissing something under her breath. I assumed it was something along the lines of "Stop it! You jackass!". I chuckled. She stood up from her chair then, storming out of the room in a gust of tears and squealed apologies. The boy—weak and crumbling—followed after her to comfort her and probably take her back, although I knew she would cheat again. It was clear already. She was only sorry because he found out, had he not, of course she would have continued.

Her blonde hair only reminded me of how evil she was. I smiled to myself—not a real, uplifting, relieving smile. Just a remnant of what my smiles used to look like. I doubted I would ever be that happy. I could settle with neutrality. That, at least, was better than full blown, clinical depression. Maybe one day, I might be able to be content—not happy, but content. Settled. It was a long shot at the moment, but I only had time, right? I sighed, looking for another outlet for my boredom.

My eyes, not planning to, rested on the same table as yesterday. Instead of examining Bella, I looked around her table. Another two blonde girls—I shuddered. One had her fingers twirling through her incredibly long blonde curls, watching her boyfriend down a gigantic sandwich with pure love and just a tinge of disgust. I pursed my lips. The boy, he seemed oblivious, but happy. A need-to-know type of guy. I moved on. There was another couple across from them.

One was tall, but not as big as the first guy. He wasn't as muscular either and he was a blonde. The girl who was hanging off his arm was short, incredibly tiny, but too feminine to be younger than seventeen. She could barely reach her boyfriends ear to whisper in it. Something profound, I guessed, better than mushy shallow stuff. I sighed, my eyes roaming. They landed on the other blonde female. She seemed to notice my stare, looking up and smiling at me. I looked away, bored. Nothing new there. The girl next to her had longish, curly light brown hair. She was fairly pretty, but had an edge. A bitchy edge, venomous but not as bad as the girl next to her.

I shuddered again and kept looking. There was a short-ish lanky boy and an innocent looking girl next to him. They were real. Not in a relationship for the hell of it, for the novelty. They were in it because they were _into_ it. I could see it. Then next to Angela sat the boy who's name I didn't know.

The one that was with Bella in the hall before. He had spiky, _blonde_ hair. I usually only took a disliking to blonde females. But this kid was just...I didn't know. But I knew I didn't like him, not a speck of good will felt toward him. This was perplexing, kind of frightening, what was more frightening was because I didn't know why. Then lastly, I let my eyes drift to Bella. I stopped, stared at her blatantly, waiting to feel the intuitiveness that enveloped me when I observed anyone.

Nothing. I couldn't get one ounce of feeling from her, no vibes, nothing. It was like she was a blank spot on a road, unreadable, unexpected. She was a void in my head. I couldn't figure out what she was thinking, what she was feeling, why she was spinning the bottle cap of her soda bottle on the table—out of boredom or she thought it was fun?

Was she concentrating on it? Trying to ignore the babble like me? I shook my head and went back to picking my food apart. She was a lost cause, something put on earth to intrigue people. I didn't have the strength or the merit for that.

***

I puzzled over my English homework until Carlisle came into my room.

He told me he was off to a business conference in Seattle. He wouldn't be back until next Saturday. I relished in the thought of being alone in the house. Then my cheerfulness dulled. I realised I was alone. I frowned and slumped back down on the bed.

It had been a month and a half after my arrival to this god forsaken town, I hadn't made any progress. So much for achieving normalcy. I sighed, shifted around for a bit, fidgeted uncomfortably when Carlisle told me to take care of myself and waited till I heard his BMW pull out of the driveway.

I revelled in the complete silence, liking it for a while, then turned on some music. I didn't like to be too alone with my thoughts. I finished up my homework for the week by four, nothing to do now.

I didn't have friends bugging me to hang out with them, no missed phone calls so I sat down in the living room and sifted through the ton of satellite channels Carlisle had.

I made myself a sandwich, eating it slowly then watched some more T.V for a couple of hours before drifting off to sleep on the couch.

I woke with a start, I must have rolled onto the remote, changing it onto some movie on, _Dracula_, I realised.

I switched it off and dragged myself up the stairs to get ready for another day of nothingness. I ended up at school, like every other morning, closing and locking my door, checking it was locked, like every morning and leant against the door, waiting for the bell to sound.

I scanned the parking lot for her.

***lip trembles, eyes all teary* please? please can I have some reviews?**


	7. Lunch BPOV

Unlucky.

That should have been printed next to Bella on my birth certificate. I drove into the parking lot outside of school, not expecting anything other than a normal day. Instead of letting me alone to stew over my forgotten English homework, God sent Mike Newton.

I groaned as I saw him spot me, his face alight with excitement.

I thought about booking it, stomping on the gas pedal and flying back out the way I came.

But Mike was already at my door, tapping on the glass with his knuckle. I felt like flicking him between the eyes. I hesitantly stepped out of my truck, slamming the door with more force than necessary. Mike put his hand against the cab, blocking my way.

"Hey, Mike," I mumbled the greeting and tried to weave around him.

"Hey, Bella!" he said cheerfully. I looked up into his eyes. He smiled even wider then seemed to hesitate, weighing his words. "I wanted to ask you, um...if you, uh, if you wanted to go to the prom with me?" he asked, his eyes bright with hope.

I cursed whatever god or gods wanted me to suffer like this. "Mike," I began "I don't know if I—I mean, I'm sorry, but—"

"Bella?" A strange voice called. Strange yet melodic and vaguely familiar. I turned to see Edward stalking toward the front end of my truck. He gave me a half hearted smile as he approached. Something about him always seemed reluctant. He came to a stop a few feet away from me.

"Hey, Edward." I said, surprised he was talking to me apart from the brief conversations we sometimes held in Art class or English. I asked him for a pen once, he asked me if I was done with the blue acrylic paint. I smiled up at him, surprised yet delighted at his change of heart. Maybe he decided I was more interesting than he thought. Although I guess I was still a little miffed about how he hardly talked to me. Well, he was now. I looked back at Mike who looked sullen yet still cocky.

"Bella, I've totally forgotten about our English homework. Do you think you could help me?" he asked hopefully but not forcefully. I could have said no, but I didn't. Plus, I hadn't done it either. Grateful for this turn of events, I smiled warmly at him. "Sure," I glanced back at Mike again.

"Mike, sorry. I have to go." He nodded, scowling at Edward's back. I grinned and waved goodbye.

I sighed a breath of relief. "Edward, I'm sorry—" "For what?" he asked suddenly, he looked shocked, confused. "I don't...have the homework. I forgot about—sorry.

You were just my scape goat from Newton." I screwed up my face. "Oh," he seemed relieved and shook his head. "No, thats fine. I'll get it from someone else. Don't worry." He flashed me a smile. I almost couldn't breathe; it was a real smile, as real as smiles could get from Edward. I would admit, it wasn't bright and full of happiness, but it wasn't a lopsided grimace either. I felt like a complete douche just standing there and gawking at him. He seemed to grow uncomfortable.

"So, uh, you going to prom?" he asked casually, kicking at a tuft of grass with his shoe. I snorted. "Ha. Yeah, sure. Me at prom. That's funny." I shook my head and laughed at myself. He stared at me, confused. "You don't like dances?" he asked. "No. Well, it's not just that.

I am pretty clumsy when it comes to dancing...and walking." I added, my cheeks burning slightly under his gaze. "I guess so. Might break an ankle.

Though, with your luck, you might leave in an ambulance after choking on some punch." He sighed, almost contently. I cocked my head. "Yeah," I agreed. "What about you?" I asked. He stared into my eyes. I couldn't help but feel lost. _Wait—what was I asking again? Umm..._

"—not the right setting for me." He was in the middle of a sentence and I had missed most of it, gazing into his shimmering green irises. _Uhh, get your head out of the gutter._ That voice said. I shot back with a _Shutup! I was soo not thinking about stuff like that. He just—his eyes..._

"—should get to class, Bella." "Huh?" I asked, snapping back into reality. "The bell rang." He said flatly, shrugging and turning slowly, waiting for me. I smiled bashfully. He shoved his hands in the pocket of his jeans. It was fairly cold this morning. I shivered in my down jacket, hoping the teacher had turned the heat on before class starts.

I rubbed my palms together. I frowned at my hands, wishing I'd brought gloves. The ones my mother had bought for me perhaps, she loved them. When I thought about her, I felt homesick. "Are you okay?" Edward asked, leaning down. His brow was creased in worry. "What? Yeah, sure. Just—Just thinking, thats all."

I smiled apologetically. "I just get lost in it sometimes. Lost in the past, you know? Like things can't have possibly changed so drastically, so quick." I sighed and laughed. "Sorry, I sound like a walking cliché." I admitted, stopping at my locker. Edward stood behind me. "Thinking about the past? Like what?" he ventured curiously but cautiously.

"My mother. I miss her, she lives in Florida. I haven't seen her in four months." I looked up at him, he seemed lost in thought, calculating. "I don't feel like myself without her. She was so much a part of me for most of my life. Not having her here, I almost feel guilty. I don't know why, though. My mind works in strange ways."

Edward stopped then, in the middle of the hall way, my elbow nudged his arm. I gasped quietly, feeling the same current, the same static. "Do you, I don't know, want to maybe, come sit with me at lunch?" I blushed uncontrollably. I grinned, probably too much. "Yeah, that'd be great." I grinned impossibly wider. I turned on my heel, tripping slightly, but righting myself.

So much for a dignified exit.

***

I had the jitters all through the day till lunch.

Mike followed me around for the entire day, more so than usual. It was really bugging me. And he kept touching me. Grabbing my arm or draping his arm across my shoulders, anyone would think we were a couple. I didn't like it and it made me uncomfortable.

He tried linking our arms together on the way down the hall, toward the cafeteria. I stopped walking and out of desperation, caught Angela on her way too. I very subtly, shifted her in between Mike and me. She seemed a little uncomfortable too, right in the middle. But I chatted animatedly, making sure they were both distracted.

My eyes wandered as we stepped through the glass doors and into the bustling lunch room.

Mike grabbed my hand when I started to walk off in the other direction.

"Mike, I'll see you later, okay?" I said distantly, searching still, craning my neck. Bingo. He was in his same seat, alone like always.

"Where are you going?" he asked, somewhat hurt. I looked back at him, his hand still gripping my wrist.

I nodded to where Edward sat at the opposite end of the room. Mike followed my gaze and furrowed his brows.

"You're sitting with Cullen? Why?" he asked, confused and sullen. It was my turn to frown. "_Edward," _I emphasised. "Asked me to." Then I wanted to kick myself after having said that to Mike. He had asked me to prom that morning and I had derailed the conversation, claiming to be helping Edward with homework.

I saw his face fall, then it turned sulky. I fought the urge to roll my eyes. Disentangling myself from him, I walked toward where Edward was. I tripped twice on the way, stumbling over nothing but flat lino. I sighed and pulled out a chair opposite Edward's. He glanced up at me the put his head back into his book.

"Hey," he murmured. I smiled. "Hey." He looked at me then, meeting my eyes. I looked away, afraid that if he started talking I would miss it all and look retarded.

"So," I began, searching for a considerably interesting topic of conversation.

"So..." he murmured, half smiling. "Where did you used to live?" I asked casually. Edward went rigid all over, his eyes falling to his hands that were now fisted on the table.

"Vermont." he answered flatly, obviously uncomfortable. Me and my stupid mouth. I sighed, he took my silence as an opportunity to turn the topic onto me. "Are you and Mike together?" he asked quietly. I stared up at him. He dropped his eyes, playing with his food, tearing it apart with his long, pale fingers.

I got distracted by that for a moment, his hands, and his arms, he wore a tight grey shirt and a hoodie over the top. Then I fully grasped what he was asking.

I trained my eyes to his face and glared. "No." I said a little too sharply. I bit my lip. "Sometimes the line blurs a bit with Mike." I shook my head and laughed once without humour. "He doesn't seem to know there was even a line in the first place." Edward perked his eyebrow. "Huh. I thought you two were a couple, seeing as you're always around eachother and he's always touching you..." he shrugged, letting his sentence hang in the air.

I gritted my teeth. "No, we are just friends. I don't see him that way. At all." I clarified. The hint of a smiled tugged his lips."My mistake." he mumbled. I rolled my eyes. "How about you? Why don't you talk to anyone?" I asked abrasively. He sighed and stared back at me, abandoning his food. "I just, dont like people." "With the exception of me, of course." I pointed to myself.

He nodded. "I'm not that social. People are better off without me anyway." "Why would you say that?" I asked, intrigued. "Doesn't matter."

"Did you find anyone who did the English homework?" He looked confused.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I did."


	8. Thin ice EPOV

Her every move, every subtle move registered in my mind.

Then I spent a moment to break it down, analyse it and deconstruct it to find out the motivation behind it. From simple things like a blush of the cheeks or the way she glanced up at me, searching my eyes then looking away suddenly. It was so incredibly frustrating yet captivating at the same time. I had made a giant leap by asking her to sit with me today. And I felt like I had been run down by a train when she asked about my past.

Even if it was a simple question like where I used to live. I felt my muscles tense. I swallowed the lump in my dry throat, trying not to seem rude. I didn't want her to get the wrong impression. She wasn't prying, she was being polite if anything, making small talk.

To deflect more of her questions I brought up Mike Newton. Ugh. I thought I might puke at the thought of him.

I loathed him to the very core. I watched their exchange of words when they came into the cafeteria.

She seemed hesitant in telling him where she would be, but then she blatantly nodded in my direction—I quickly pretended I was looking somewhere else. I peeked from the corner of my eye. He sulked off in the other direction, feeling intense hatred toward me too. I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling.

Maybe the kid needed to be knocked of his pedestal.

He couldn't get his way all the time, and of course, even though Bella was the most beautiful looking thing in this school and Forks, if she was like the rest of the girls here—willing—he would get tired of her and search for another conquest.

Wait—did I just call Bella beautiful? I shook my head. Thin ice, my friend, thin ice. I gulped loudly when her chair scraped across the floor.

What was I nervous or something? I certainly wasn't dreading the meeting we arranged. It was the highlight of my day—hell, of my week. Maybe even month so far. I didn't know what was wrong with me, I had blurted out the invitation like it was the most natural thing in the world. It wasn't, not for me.

I was terrified, but excited too. I focussed my restlessness into my leg, letting it bounce up and down rapidly in anticipation. I was becoming a wreck. And all over a girl, whom probably didn't even like me that much. For reasons I was unsure of, I had approached her that morning when I saw Mike next to her. I asked her for the English homework, having already finished it, just to get her attention away from that tool. Maybe I could direct her somewhere else, like perhaps, not Mike Newton.

I smiled devilishly to myself. That lunch was the most mentally stimulating I had had in months. I found it so easy to talk to Bella.

She seemed to like talking to me too. That thought warmed me. I lost track of the day after lunch. My head was swimming with Bella.

Her eyes, her lips, the flutter of her eye lashes, how she would bite her lip. I don't even think _she_ was as aware of herself as _I _was.

I couldn't understand it, the need emanating out of me. I _needed_ human interaction—but not just with anyone. Anyone besides Bella would probably bore me to death, Bella was so much more than that, which is why I became so hesitant. She was _more_. I tried not to shake as I pondered this.

What I thought of Bella was purely curiosity, right? _Yeah, whatever helps you sleep at night_.

I sighed and strode into Spanish, mumbling a short yet polite apology to Ms. Goff for being late. "Sorry, miss. It won't happen again." I promised, although it was only for appearances. I sat in the room—I was there in body, but my mind drifted, drifted down the hall, to the room where Bella had Calculus. Suddenly, I couldn't wait to get to Art.

It was a Wednesday, so that meant I was deprived of English with Bella. That only left sixth period. I took a deep breath outside of the class room. I walked in and settled myself in the seat next to Bella. She looked up, shocked. I gave her a sheepish smile. Class went on like that for the rest of the hour.

Stealing glances at her, watching how her brow creased and she bit her lip as she worked over the paint encrusted canvas before her.

I couldn't help but watch as she got lost in herself. I didn't know what it was, the innocence? The purity? Or the complete look of relaxation, of peace that encompassed her when she painted. And boy was she a good painter. She caught me staring once and blushed a deep crimson. I cursed myself. My painting was coming together slowly.

Splashes of mahogany, cream and flecks of gold. I wasn't quite sure what I was painting, but it came from the soul. I let my hand drift over the surface, revealing whatever was in my head. I hardly had any control over it. This was a release for me. It was why I chose Art as an elective. It was a deep passion of mine.

And, apparently, Bella's, too. I almost groaned when I heard the bell. I deep sadness welled in my chest. I couldn't control it and I wanted to get rid of it.

For the first time in so long, I hadn't been in that pit of depression. I beat down the sad feelings and walked with Bella to the parking lot.

We hardly spoke to one another, yet somehow, talking would taint the moment. So I remained silent. I hadn't realised I had walked her all the way to her truck until she stopped and turned to me, her key in the door. "I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked hesitantly. I smiled. Her face beamed, lit up like a torch.

"Yeah." I nodded in agreement. Lunch tomorrow, with Bella. I watched her leave, waited till she was out of sight before I sauntered over to my Volvo. I could feel these unfamiliar pangs of emotion rise within me.

I got home in ten minutes. Carlisle wasn't home yet so I turned the T.V on. I had decided to bring my painting home today. It was due soon and I could get a lot of it done in the confines of my home, being that there was never anything to do. So I sat down and rummaged through the stash of paints I had collected over the years.

I sighed deeply and set up something to lean my canvas on. I felt like using some soft reds, some pinks. I let my brush flow, it curled into swirls, a soft point, brown circles—

Holy fuck.

I staggered back, almost falling off my chair. I stumbled over the couch and over to the other side of the living room. I stared back at the canvas. Big, brown eyes stared back at me.

_Shit, shit! Double shit!_

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, although I wish I did. *sigh***


	9. Damn those tears BPOV

I skipped through the halls of school, totally euphoric.

I didn't even mind Jessica's attention in Calculus.

Which was saying a lot for my mood. I even freaking hummed. I sat down at my desk.

Jess sat down next to me, which was surprising to say the least, seeing as she would rather ignore me these days due to the whole Mike issue.

Instead of sneering at me, she greeted me with a warm smile and a wave. "Hey," she whispered, leaning over the aisle to talk to me. I leaned in to hear her better, our teacher was wrapped up in marking anyway. Everyone was talking. I smiled hesitantly. "Hey, Jess. Do you need help?" I inquired politely. She shook her head.

"No, I wanted to know why you were sitting with _Edward Cullen_ today!" she practically squealed. I shot her a warning look, glancing around to see if anyone heard. I sighed and moved my eyes back to her where she sat expectant and practically bouncing off the seat. I bit my lip. "He invited me." I shrugged, trying to throw her off the subject. I could try being more blunt and obnoxious, but that wouldn't do any good to our friendship or lack thereof. She narrowed her eyes at me. "He invited you? What are you guys friends now? When did this happen? Are you sitting there tomorrow? Aren't you intimidated by him?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Oh, Jess, relax. We talk, I guess we're friends. And, besides, he's really nice." She grinned, her eyes glazing over suddenly. She sighed. "Is he ever." She had a small smile on her lips now, her eyes focussed on something distant in her shallow brain. I gritted my teeth. What was it to her anyway? Yeah, he was attractive, that much was clear. But he wasn't a Mike kind of guy. He held so much more depth than the people at my table combined.

There were things about him, that he kept hidden from anyone and everyone. I found myself drawn to him, for reasons beyond rational comprehension. All I knew for sure is that, I would rather him being _my_ friend than Jessica's. I frowned inwardly, wondering why I had gotten so offended when Jessica complimented his looks. Maybe it was left over resentment for our earlier tension. I couldn't help but let my anger boil inside of me when it came to fights, I couldn't just bottle it up, that wasn't me.

I let my temper override my logical thoughts and actions. I dismissed the subject, and thought that I was just being ridiculous, probably through lack of sleep. I chewed on the end of my pen, a nervous habit of mine, just like chewing my nails. I threw on my grey hoodie as we left our class room when the bell rang.

Last period, it was a god send.

I smiled as I strolled happily to the Art room, rounding the corner and almost sprinting the rest of the distance.

Art was my emotional outlet. Whenever I was mad or upset, I would paint. Usually those paintings were abstract, splatters and stabs of red and black paint, almost mutilating whatever brushes I used in the process. It always helped me calm down. And sometimes I just did it for fun, it was often very therapeutic.

I sat down at my normal seat, reclaiming my canvas from the storage room, and propping it up on the desk. I basically jumped out of my skin when Edward pulled out the seat next to mine. I blushed deeply, I could feel it colour my skin. We hardly spoke, and it was exceptional. We walked out of class together with a spring in my step.

I felt myself blush again when he walked me all the way to my truck. We said our faint goodbyes and promises to sit together tomorrow when I finally got my feet to hop into my truck. I couldn't wipe the goofy smile off my face as I drove home. Charlie wasn't home yet, obviously. I dragged my feet in the door, only tripping once. I was proud.

I grabbed a granola bar from the fridge and munched on it while I slumped in front of the T.V. I flipped through the channels, food, DIY, wrestling—garbage. I stumbled upon a midday movie, _Romeo and Juliet_. I chuckled as I imagined Edward playing Romeo. His velvety, flawless voice making the lines all the more desirable.

My chuckles died out as I realised how much that idea pleased me. I quickly flipped channels, my heart thumping. There was nothing on that pleased me, so I turned it off, resigning myself to my bedroom. Throwing my books onto my bag, I realised I had no homework to do. This fact would usually cause for celebration. Today I was frantic, I needed a distraction from the thoughts that threatened to break through the damn wall in my head. Dangerous thoughts, I told myself.

I shouldn't even be entertaining such thoughts. But, still, without something else to keep my mind from wandering down that path, I found my head winding through different scenarios. I squinted my eyes shut, shaking my head, desperate for another thing to occupy my mind with. Almost on cue, the door bell rang.

I jumped and squashed the hopes that it was Edward at my door. Of course not. I tripped down the stairs, almost face planting, but ropy, russet coloured arms caught me before my head connected with the floor boards. "God, Bells! You gotta be more careful!" Jacob scolded me. I righted myself, pushing away from his hands.

I looked up into his eyes. He was tall, but not that tall, not as tall as... I sighed and stepped around to the door, holding it open and looking back at Jake expectantly, frustration and surprise clear on my face. Jacob fiddled with the hem of his shirt, staring at his shoes.

"Jake, I think it's best if you leave." I told him, setting my jaw and crossing my arms over my chest. "Bells," he sighed, leaning his arm on the banister. I glared at him; I could feel my face heating up. "Go, Jacob. I mean it. I know you've been having a tough time with Billy's passing. But I cannot forgive you for what you did." His face fell.

"Bella, you don't know anything!" he shouted and strode toward me. I took a step back, holding my hands out in front of me. "Do not come near me!" I almost shouted back, my voice unsteady. I could feel the tears springing already. Damn those tears. I wiped them away viciously.

"Bella, for goodness sake! I told you I was sorry! And besides, it was a long time ago!" he defended himself, as if he were genuinely apologising for what he did.

Like he could somehow explain himself. I had been free for two months after seeing him at Billy's funeral. Before then, I hadn't seen him since the last Summer I was here. I was absolutely fine for once. But, no, he had to come back and haunt me.

As if he hadn't taken enough from me. "Get out of my god damn house, Jacob Black! I _will_ tell Charlie!" I threatened, my voice raising to a scream.

I thought I might actually start hitting him. I was prepared, there was an umbrella stand right behind me. I could get one out.

But my hands were shaking so much, I probably wouldn't be able to pick it up without it slipping from my grasp. Jacob seemed frustrated with my outburst.

He sighed, resigned and stalked out the door. I slammed it shut behind him, my happiness from today was completely obliterated by his appearance. My shallow, shaky breaths were slowing. It took a while to get back to normal. Instead of staying on the floor downstairs and risk and interruption by Charlie, I ran upstairs to my room. I slammed that door too.

I slumped onto my bed and curled up, kicking my books onto the floor.

I didn't come out till morning.

**Oh my _god! _What did Jacob do? Why does Bella hate him so much? Read on to find out! As you would have read in this chapter and the last, Edward and Bella are starting to realise they have feelings for the other. But will this have an effect on their friendship? Good or Bad?**

**I am eternally grateful for those two people that reviewed. I heart you guys.**


	10. Broken Shell EPOV

I stood, frozen in the middle of the living room, staring at my painting.

_Oh my god. I painted Bella. A goddamn picture of _Bella!

I gulped, wondering what the hell came over me.

I had painted a portrait of this girl, whom I barely knew, whom was just another girl, whom I was now harbouring something intense for.

I dropped to my knees. No, no, no. This wasn't fair. I couldn't do this to her. I didn't deserve her, not in the least. What the hell was I thinking?

Was I going to be friends with her? No, she wouldn't want that. And I couldn't offer her that either.

Bella needed someone special, someone genuine. She was so pure and good, she belonged in a place where I didn't. We were worlds apart, yet somehow I felt so close. The day before, walking around with her, talking to her about the smallest things truly broke my shell. She had invaded the space I had worked to hard to build. I had created a bubble of consciousness that only I could be in. There just wasn't space for anyone. But Bella shattered it, blew it to smitherines. With just the bat of an eyelash.

I felt like my head would explode with all this. I felt like my heart would crack my ribs. I didn't know what or who I was anymore. I didn't know what had happened or how it had happened so quickly. How could one girl, one lone girl annihliate me? How was it even possible? I knew for certain that this would only end badly.

I needed to spare both of us. Bella had completely, single handedly ruined me! I was at her mercy. I looked at my hands, pulling them to my face and running them through my hair.

How could I handle this? I hadn't anticipated such a thing. That's because I was being completely stupid. I could have avoided this situation completely! Yet, like the idiot I am, I hadn't recognised the warning signs. _One day! _I though incredulously. One day after a month of small banter to knock over that stupid barrier that I though was impenetrable.

I was breathing deep gusts of air, hyperventialting. I didn't know what to do.

As I stared at the girl on the canvas I grew increasingly frustrated. I had been stuck in a calm and lazy facade for the past six months. I had the pent up energy of a freakin race horse. I needed to move around, to use it up. But I just stared.

She should be with her real friends, not with someone unstable and broken like me. I had told myself over and over again. Yet I skated on across the paper thin ice.

I was now drowning.

_Crap._

***

By morning, it had become clear.

I would have to let her go, for her own good.

I wouldn't taint her life, I wouldn't put her in that danger.

I wouldn't be selfish. I would do the right thing for once and spare myself the agony.

I was already in deep enough, if I didn't blow this shit open, I would be gasping for air sooner or later. I needed to detach myself, like I had learned to do so easily.

It had worked with Carlisle. We hardly talk, just a few words spared here and there. Professional. I would have to end my friendship with Bella. I had been walking to my car through the crisp morning air when I doubled over in pain. I clenched my fists, agony swelled through my insides.

_Oh god._ I felt like I was already drowning. I was flooded with an intense despair as I planned to let go of the most important part of my life. I was on my knees outside our house, I could feel the dew on the grass soak through my jeans. Why was life so cruel? I ran my hand through my hair, almost tugging it out with stress. How the hell was I going to pull this off? Calmly and aloofly. I chanted that in my head, hoping to get through the rest of the day without crumbling. I sucked in a deep breath and dragged my sorry ass to the car. I threw my backpack onto the seat and thrust the car into gear before roaring off down the driveway.

***

It was as clear to me as anything. It was my fault. I remembered those moments so precisely in my head. The moments when I was told my parents were dead. It was my fault. I was being punished, obviously. If I got close to anyone again, they would be taken from me. I just knew it, thats how the world worked. The bad people got punished sooner or later. I placed myself in that category. And from that experience, I knew that if it happened again, I would not live through it. It was impossible to suffer that much pain twice and survive. Physically and mentally impossible. And so, I did the right thing for once in my life. I gave her up.

I was sitting in my usual seat in the cafeteria, my eyes found her the moment she appeared in the room. I smiled, despite myself when she saw me. I prepared myself. But then again, how could one prepare themselves? When they were losing something? I certainly had no idea how to. She plopped down into the seat opposite mine.

I gulped and finally worked up the courage to look into her eyes. I started, she looked different. I shook it off. I needed to do this now, now, or I would never do it. "Bella," I began. "Edward, stop. I know what you're going to say. I'm fine, okay?" she said softly, holding her hand up to halt my words. "Thats not—" I paused. Thats when I fully gauged her features, the way she held herself. I raised my eyebrows. "Bella," I frowned. She groaned. I sighed. "Outside. Now." I ordered, surprised at how strong my voice was. Well, it needed to be, if I was going through with this. I stood up from the generic plastic chair I sat in everyday. I held my hand out, indicating that she go first.

She scowled then stood, walking out of the cafeteria and into the hallway. She stopped after a few steps, far enough away from the doors that no-one should hear us. "Listen, Bella—" She put her finger to my lips. I stopped, surprised and elated that she touched me. She looked down at her feet, thinking about her next words. She let out a gusty breath. "Bella? What's going on?" I asked. She bit her lip and looked up at me. There were tears lining her eyes, one streamed down her cheek. "Bella, what the hell is going on?" I whispered. "Why are you crying?" I felt her anguish as if it were my own. She sniffed and let out a little whimper. "I just—It's..." she took a deep, calming breath. "There's this guy. His name is Jacob."

My breathing stopped. Oh no. She was in love with some guy. I thought I might break down...again. I was so pathetic. I just stared at her, trying to comprehend. "I didn't tell you how I used to come here every Summer. Last year...something—happened." I frowned, my fingers twitching to reach out for her.

"What happened?" I breathed, my chest aching. More tears welled and spilled over. "He ruined my life!" she hissed. "Jacob?" I asked. She nodded, wiping at her eyes. They were red and her face was blotchy but I couldn't have cared less. She could have been bawling her eyes out and I would have still thought she was beautiful. I hadn't realised my hands were clenching and unclenching subconsciously.

They were knotted in tight balls at my sides. "What did he do?" I asked flatly. She sniffled and shook her head.

"He did things." Was all she said. My eyes widened. My stomach knotted and churned. I could feel a growl rumbling in my chest. Something feral and guttural.

I never knew I was capable of showing such fury—and so quickly. I had been intent on ditching Bella, but after finding this out—I had one intention, and one intention only.

**Oh no he di'int! *snaps fingers* Loving the great in-flow (if thats even a word) of reviews. Love you guys! You are the sun on a cloudy day, the cherry on my sundae, the snake to my mongoose. :D**


	11. Dark Abyss BPOV

**For full effect, I would reccomend listening to "Happiness"-The Fray, "Happy Ending"-Mika or "Look after you"-also by the Fray, when reading.**

Time had begun to heal my wounds. Wounds given to me by a childhood friend.

Someone I knew since I was five. Someone I trusted. He had apologised.

But that didn't distract from the fact that he broke me. He broke us. It would be a long time before I could even begin to see reason, to have hope for a future. Something better. But I did. After a while. This was only achieved through pure determination. I had thought about giving up. I admit it. It did cross my mind. But I pushed that thought aside, knowing that would be taking the easy way out. I wouldn't let _him_ make me weak. So, I soldiered on.

I hadn't planned on coming back to Forks. But, things change, all the time. Billy, Jacob's Dad, had died. He was Charlie's best friend, just about his only friend in town. I had stuck my chin up and come to my Dad's side. What kind of daughter would I be if I ignored him my company?

In a time like this? When he need it the most. I wouldn't, because I would never be that selfish.

I packed my bags, said goodbye to my life in Phoenix, goodbye to my mother, Renee and her husband Phil.

I said goodbye to everything, squared my shoulders, reared my courage and stepped on that plane to take me across the country. I had gone to the funeral, for Charlie's sake, not mine. After all, I hadn't known Billy all that well. I had stood by his side, my hand on his shoulder.

He wore his only suit, his eyes rimmed in red as the viewing took place. I sat beside him and held his hand in mine. Then I saw him there. I saw my own personal nightmare standing beside the coffin that carried his dead father.

I didn't feel sympathy for him. Only for Billy, a great man, not knowing what sort of monster his son was. He turned around, spotting me from afar.

I tensed instinctively. My own tears, tears of rage and terror streamed in salty lines down my face.

Before leaving Phoenix, I had promised myself I would shed no more tears for Jacob Black. His face was blank, probably numb. He frowned infinitesimally when he saw me. Then sat down, his face betraying no emotions. Was he human enough to have any? I shuddered as the memories took hold of my mind.

Drowning me in the blackest pits of my past. I remembered his touch. All over me. I remember how he whispered promises that no-one would find out. He told me not to tell anyone. He told me it wasn't his fault, that he was drunk. Drunk five times in a row? My emotional walls were buckling, threatening to come down in a spectacular show.

I gritted my teeth and stuck it out until it was over. He approached me at the wake, I had quickly deterred and fled to Charlie's side, not letting go of his arm the entire time.

***

Before yesterday, that was the last time I had seen him.

I had hardly even thought about him. I couldn't go down to La Push anymore, where it happened inside that red house. I gulped down my rising surge of tears as I pushed myself out the door of my truck and into the parking lot of school. My nerves were still raw and tender from my encounter with Jacob.

Any slight jolt and I would be in pieces. I made it all the way till lunch until Angela noticed my lack of appetite.

She looked into my eyes, I had to look away, afraid that she'd be able to tell. I felt so disgusting. It was at the forefront of my mind, I felt like I was giving it away, just by the way I looked. She frowned and her expression turned to one of concern. I shifted uncomfortably under her friendly gaze. Angela was a great friend, she really was.

And as we walked away from the line, I averted her gaze and mumbled a quick goodbye as I strode to Edward's table. He seemed wired, stressed about something. Maybe that could be today's subject. I plopped down on the chair, resting my chin on my hands. I looked up into his perfect green eyes, he quickly looked down.

"Bella," he began, seeming to weigh his next words. The way his voice said my name sounded like we were life-long friends.

"Edward, stop. I know what you're going to say. I'm fine, okay?" I tried to look away, hoping he couldn't read minds. He seemed slightly confused, and began to speak. "That's not—" he started then stopped himself. His eyes seemed to roam over me. I shifted in my seat, hoping he would just drop it. I couldn't let him know.

What would he think of me then? "Bella," he said, sternly now. I closed my eyes for a moment, dreading the approaching conversation.

"Outside. Now." He ordered me. I scowled at the lino below my feet and pushed back my feelings of anxiety and revulsion toward myself. I could get through this. I would. I always have. This shouldn't be hard. I realised just how hard it was going to be when we had reached the hallway. I could hear people's conversations coming from in between the glass doors, but I stopped far enough away that no-one would hear us. I needed privacy if I was going to effectively gather my thoughts and keep my sloppy emotions in check.

But then, like an idiot, I started crying. "Listen, Bella—" he started, I reached my finger to his lips, cutting off his sentence. I didn't know why I did it, it just felt right.

I let out a gigantic breath, bracing myself for what I was about to do. I couldn't believe what words were about to slip out of my mouth, possibly ruin my life for a second time.

I didn't know if anyone gets through that more than once. To have so much taken away. "Bella? What's going on?" he asked, concerned. I looked up into his anxious eyes.

"Bella, what the hell is going on? Why are you crying?" I was biting my lip, afraid of what his reaction might be once he knew I was tainted. Damaged beyond repair. Who would want a part of me now? I sniffed and whimpered. Why was I just letting this happen? I couldn't help it. He had to know. I needed for him to know. It was vital, like oxygen.

"Its just—It's..." I inhaled deeply, trying to expel my despair and replace it with a business-like facade. It didn't work. "There's this guy. His name is Jacob. I didn't tell you how I used to come here every Summer. Last year...something—happened." I felt like I would fall into a shattered piece of glass. I hated thinking his name, much less thinking it.

I felt like it might make me physically sick, which is exactly what happened this morning. He had touched me, caught me off the stairs. It had caused me to be ill.

"What happened?" Edward breathed. I didn't look up, I couldn't watch his face as it turned disgusted once I told him what had happened to me.

My anger flared and erupted. "He ruined my life!" I hissed out. Not directed toward Edward. It was directed at the rest of the world. Living their completely blissful lives, not an ounce of care or worry expanding outside of their mundane dating issues. I wanted to stomp my foot on the ground, I wanted to pound my fist into some dry-wall.

"Jacob?" Edward clarified. His voice sounded funny. I couldn't bear to look at him yet. I was shaking, I felt like I was convulsing. My heart beat wouldn't slow down and my tears wouldn't relinquish. I felt queasy, as if dredging up those thoughts was too much in itself. I was scared. Completely and utterly terrified. "What did he do?" Edward asked flatly.

It was a moment before I could make my lips move, I knew my answer was vague, but he would know then. Anyone with a brain would connect the dots.

I didn't know why I was confiding in Edward instead of Alice or Angela, but I felt I owed it to him, to let him know what he was dealing with. Giving him an out or whatever. I drew all my strength to utter the next words. They broke my lips in a slow whisper. "He did things." With that I stared into his eyes.

I couldn't read his expression, but it had altered from the concern. His eyes were off somewhere else. I sobbed, a heart breaking, gut wrenching sob wailing from my throat. I backed up against the wall, sliding down on my back until I was sitting. Edward still stood, his fists clenched at his sides.

I covered my face, my shoulders heaving with each sob and whimper. "I'm damaged, Edward. I'm nothing." I tried to keep it as quiet as possible. I wouldn't be able to disguise this if someone were to interrupt. Thats why I chose so far away from the lunch room.

Wordlessly, Edward's hands unclenched, his body turned in my direction. Before I knew what he was doing, he slid down on his back next to me.

I felt his hand on mine. Just a simple sign. A show of affection, to let me know that he thought nothing bad of me for what happened. He was telling me it didn't matter, he was being a true friend. I cried harder, aware now that Edward was one of the greatest friends I'd ever had. A day! One single day to really get to know each other, and it felt like there was some cosmic connection. I wouldn't be the one to break it. I doubt anyone could break it now. His hand on mine was the most natural thing, so comforting and heart-breakingly sweet.

I looked up at his face. He stared straight ahead, so I rested my head on his shoulder. He was tense, but after a few breaths, he relaxed. I sat there, with my head resting against him. His thumb stroked my fingers.

"Don't believe that for a second." He murmured, squeezing my hand.

A fresh hot tear stole its way down my face.

**Thankyou for reading, Chaps :) Disclaimer: Obviously, I do not own Twilight. Where will this new revelation lead Edward's plans to rid Bella of himself? Will Bella be able to get Edward's past out of him?**


	12. Revelations EPOV

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. But I do own Twilight-y things. *rolls up giant Robert Pattinson poster***

I had no intention of making friends when I arrived in Forks.

I had no intention of talking to anyone.

I had no intention of becoming friends with the Police Chief's daughter, Bella Swan.

But then again, things can get out of hand. Like my feelings.

I had never before experienced such rage in my life. As I sat next to her in the hall, her warm, trembling hand in mine, I had never been so furious. My vision was going red, it was a taste on my tongue, I had to work to keep my hand from crushing Bella's. She was terrified, and she had just revealed to me one of her most personal secrets.

I had secrets, one big one. One that only Carlisle knew. That it was my fault my parents were dead. I was in no way inclined to share that part of my life with anyone—especially Bella. What would she think of me? Surely she would be disgusted, that I would even have the nerve to try to make friends.

Because of that fear—the fear that Bella would hate me—I wasn't going to tell. Aside from this, what would I do about Bella's problem? She hadn't been exceptionally clear on what had happened. I wanted to know. I _had_ to know this, so I could do something about it. But what? What the hell was I going to do?

She told me who, but not what—not exactly anyway. Although it wouldn't make much difference in the end, would it? No.

Because I was still going to murder him. I was shocked at how easily I could admit this fact, to myself, not to Bella. She would go into hysterics and I couldn't do that to her. She was so strong to tell me, admit something like this, to me—practically a stranger in comparison to say, Mike Newton.

Then again, I was glad she had told me and no-one else, no matter what it was. Though, as I thought about it some more, I'm not sure that was the best idea, on Jacob's behalf anyway. He would have hell to pay. He was going to wish he had never laid a single finger—I clenched my teeth. I couldn't even finish the goddamn sentence in my head. I ached to crush his skull in my hands, make him suffer. He didn't deserve to breathe anymore. I could almost feel the relief radiating through Bella.

I was beginning to understand her facial expressions, though I wouldn't have been able to had I not been watching her for the past month or so. But as I focussed on her, to help my intense rage subside, her face seemed a little less troubled than before. She was huddled up to my side, her head was up right now, no longer resting on my shoulder. But her hand was still in mine. I didn't want to let it go. I thought something might happen to her if I wasn't with her.

I knew she was amazingly strong, a survivor—who wouldn't be after something like that? But what if she encountered him? What if he tried to do the same things again? I closed my eyes, and banged my head against the wall slightly. I had to keep my anger under control. I might do something rash, although something rash looked _very_ appealing right now. Stop it. That's enough, I told myself. What was most important now was the girl next to me. Bella obviously had confided in me for a reason.

Even if we barely knew eachother. Well, she barely knew me. I felt like I'd known her my whole life...and then some. So, for Bella's sake, I would be the vigilante another time. Right now, I needed to stay with her, help her in any way possible. I owed her that much. The bell rang at that moment. Making me jump, making Bella gasp.

"Crap," she muttered hoarsely, wiping at her eyes with the sleeve of her hoodie. I watched her untwine our hands, it felt like she was tearing off my arm. I stood up swiftly and held out my hand for her to take it—to help her up and just another excuse to hold her. She smiled apologetically at me as she got to her feet.

"Edward, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to burden you." She shook her head. "I don't want you to feel like you need to be my friend." She said while staring at the floor. "What?" I asked incredulously. "Bella, I'm your friend because I want to be." I explained, angered at the thought of her thinking she was a burden on my time. And I damn well wanted to be her friend. "Believe me, you are _not_ a burden." I murmured earnestly. A tear glistened in the corner of her eye. She nodded. "Okay," she agreed.

"Do you want me to take you home?" I wondered, offering her anything to make her feel better. She would be safe with me, I could promise her that. But the thought of being alone—really alone with her, frightened me a little. If I were to do or say something wrong, I might do more damage. But she had to know that she could trust me. I would help her if she needed the help. She frowned, yet a small smile tugged at her lips. "What? No. You can't miss out on Spanish, you have a test, I know, I did it in second period."

I rolled my eyes. "Who cares?" I shrugged. I certainly didn't. At that moment, I couldn't care less if I failed all my subjects. "I care." She retorted.

"It's okay, really," her voice softened and I was entranced, at will to do anything she asked. "You are not okay." I stated calmly. "I am now. Well, I'm better. Thanks for sitting with me, by the way. I'm not sure what that felt like for you, a crying teenage girl." She muttered. Yes, she certainly had no idea what it felt like for me. I took a deep breath.

"Look, I'll tell Ms. Cope that I feel sick or I have a forgotten dentist appointment. She'll let me leave. I don't think I can handle Jess next period, or if Mike catches me between classes." She shuddered and I felt like abusing Newton. "Anyway, I'll find my own way home." She sighed. "Thanks again. I'll talk to you later." She ended. "Bella, wait." I hesitated. "Bella. Anything. You can say it. Got it?" She nodded. I waved goodbye. "Anything," I whispered. God, I was becoming so melodramatic.

But I felt like I could eat hot coals for Bella. Which sounded very painful, not to mention disturbing. But my protective nature was winning out against my rational nature. I slinked off to Spanish and endured the hour long quiz. It was pure torture alright. The questions were easy, so I finished early, giving me more time to stew in my thoughts and memories of lunch. I circled around what I would like to do to Jacob if he ever crossed my path. Those thoughts made me smile darkly. This whole situation had turned out so different to what I had planned. I had earlier concluded and settled on the decision that made excluding Bella from my life necessary. Now, I was even more involved than before.

I wanted to kick myself, hard, and more than once. I thought about her hand inside mine. Her small, gentle, trembling hand. She felt so fragile and breakable in my grasp. Now, in the grasp of someone else? Someone who wasn't being careful or gentle? I gritted my teeth and shuddered at the thought of what Bella might have looked like after those encounters. Had it been obvious? Did he bruise her? What if he scarred her? In the physical sense, as I was well aware she was already scarred emotionally.

I didn't like those thoughts. The thought of someone's hands on her. The thought of someone marking her. I felt like I was going to be sick. Art was completely monotonous without her there. The whole idea felt worthless. I lived to see her smiles and thoughtful glances, her upturned lips whenever I'd throw a sheepish smile her way.

I sighed as I sat down in art, in my usual seat, which was across the room from Bella's empty one. I brooded over everything. Bella was now officially my friend, and I couldn't help that, she sort of made it that way, too. So what did that mean to me? Everything, of course. But after I supported her through this, I would have to let go, wouldn't I?

I was stupid to even consider that. Of course I wouldn't be able to just walk away. How obtuse of me to think so. That's when it hit me, square between the eyes.

I couldn't walk away. I may never be able to walk away. I was permanently soldered to Bella like my life depended on it. That felt like the appropriate words to use, too. As I was contemplating my messed up life, Lauren Mallory leaned over her desk to me. "Hey, Edward." She smiled, winking. "Hey," I mumbled, turning my attention to the window, seeing nothing but brown hair framing an ivory face. "So, I heard that you don't have a date for the prom yet." She sighed, over emphasising a look of sadness as she added the next part.

"Me neither." She sighed. "It's a tough life, isn't it?" she said, turning her head to me, resting it on her palm. I wasn't really listening, only vaguely surprised that she was interested in me. "Huh, that's too bad." I mumbled. The bell rang. I shot out of my desk, hoping to deflect a full blown invitation that I would have to decline.

I almost laughed at the thought of prom with Lauren. She wasn't a nice person, so I wouldn't feel that guilty about saying no to her. The only person I would even consider dancing with would be—

I had an epiphany, a full blown fucking revelation that made me stumbled and grasp onto a tree for support.

_Oh, shit on a stick with a brick._

I sucked in a ragged breath, my eyes wide. I clutched the tree for dear life.

How could I not see it? How could I not know?

I was falling for Bella.

I loved her.

**OMG! Yay! (claps for Edward) he finally works it out. duh! of course he's in love with her. he finds out the depth of that through his next POV. Bella realises hers, i think, maybe not next chapter...i'll have to think about it.... but she will work it out.... Then, what about his secret? Hmm?**


	13. Trust me BPOV

My hand smouldered with electricity.

I held it against my face, feeling the warmth there.

My hand tingled as I made my way to the admin office at the front of the school. What excuse was I going to use? I could say that I had to go for a check up at the doctor's for my hand. Ms. Cope would believe that. I had it decided. My thoughts were in a jumble from _his _touch—Edward's.

I couldn't pin down the sudden intense need for more. I felt like jumping around, had I not been crying. I was still a little shaken up about the whole ordeal.

I was so completely used to keeping everything inside, never expressing my emotions, never displaying them—I was like Charlie in that way. So, as strange as it was for me to reveal myself to a mere stranger, I felt utterly relieved. The situation was natural and flowing, as if I had told Edward all my secrets, as if he knew everything about me all along.

Which was, of course, impossible. But the way he reacted, it seemed like we had done this a million times over.

Holding my hand, for instance. It felt so good. I never wanted to be without that. I wouldn't be able to.

After experiencing that feeling, I thought it would kill me—be worse pain than I had ever imagined to have it taken away from me.

I was so grateful for Edward's presence in the hallway. I would still be in a mess, possibly a worse one if Mike was with me. Plus, I would never divulge my innermost secrets to that creep. To me, with the way he tried to touch me all the time, reminded me of Jacob. This was mostly before what he did.

Before he violated and assaulted me. He would try and touch me, it started out as innocent. Just playful hand-holding, he would wrap his arm around my waist. I hadn't thought he would attempt to take it further. Trying to kiss me last two years ago at Christmas. Mum and Phil were on their honeymoon so I spent it with Charlie.

We were outside Charlie's house, on the front porch, the snow fall was quite heavy. We had just finished dinner and Billy, Sue Clearwater and her husband Harry were doing the dishes. So that left me and Jake alone. He wished me a merry Christmas then planted a kiss on my lips.

His hand reached around to my neck, trying to deepen the kiss. I pulled away, and almost slapped him. I told him I didn't want to, he just got angry about it and told Billy he wasn't feeling well, so he was going home early. I should have seen it earlier.

I would never have gone back to La Push. But I was so naive to think he would just stop there.

Because, of course he wouldn't stop. Jacob was persistent. He always got what he wanted.

What he wanted was me. I went back there, to his house, because he was my friend, and I wasn't going to throw away our life-long friendship based on a misunderstanding. I shuddered when I remembered that night. The warmth of the office felt so good, it was a pretty cold day today.

"Uh, Ms. Cope?" I peered over the desk, she had her head in some paper work. "Yes, uh, Bella?" she smiled.

"Hi, I need to leave school early today, my hand," I lifted it up for her to see. "I need to go in for a check up, see if the stitches can come out yet." I wondered if my lie was that convincing. She smiled warmly and nodded. "Absolutely, dear. Here," she passed me a "leave early" slip.

"I need you to sign it, and your father. Could you bring that back for me tomorrow, sweetheart?" I nodded and smiled. "Thanks," I murmured, walking out into the cold air. I pulled my hood over my head and strolled toward my locker. _9-1-1 _I snorted when had told me my locker combination when I arrived here my first day. I had _those_ numbers memorised—being clumsy and disaster prone, I had grown quite used to dialling those numbers. I reached in for my jacket and book bag.

I shrugged it on and threw my bag over my shoulder. I arrived home after ten minutes. Charlie wouldn't be home until seven.

So, I had about as many hours on my own. I took it as time to reflect. Reflect on the what I told Edward in the hallway today.

I breathed deeply, wishing I could talk to him right now. Maybe, now that he had time to think about it, he would think different.

He was in shock—I was in shock. As I turned it over and over in my head, I realised how stupid it was of me to say it. Surely, he wouldn't want a girl with severe emotional baggage to hand off of his arm. Who _would_ want that? I thought dismally. What was the media telling us? What were modern day T.V shows, books and movies telling us?

That guys didn't like girls like me. We were too much of a handful, too much of a burden. Yet, for some reason, Edward had sat with me there—possibly out of pity or obligation—and held my hand, telling me that I was no burden to him. I smiled to myself and sat down at the table, playing with one of Charlie's newspapers. The phone rang.

I shot up out of my seat to answer it. "Bella?" a familiar voice anxiously bellowed.

"Why the hell did you leave? What's wrong? You need to tell me!" Alice boomed—if Alice can boom.

"Did that Edward do something to you? Was he mean or something?" she kept spewing out questions before I could answer or give an explanation. Waiting till she had cooled off, I spoke. "Alice? Relax. Okay? Please, you'll give yourself an aneurism." She sounded out of breath. "Why aren't you in class anyway? Don't you have History?" Alice let out an exasperated sigh. "For god sake, Bella. Jesus. I don't care about my fucking History class. What happened that made you leave early? I was really worried about you, so was Angela. You've been upset and closed off all day long. You didn't even eat at lunch. Care to explain?" she ranted, her voice rising an octave.

"Alice, please, Would you keep your voice down? You're going to get in trouble. And no, I didn't eat, because I wasn't hungry. You and Angela have nothing to worry about, okay? It's nothing, I've just got a case of the blues. It's nothing."

"I don't know, Bella." She retorted, her voice uneven.

"I've been having weird dreams with you in them. You're upset and I don't know why. There's this dark cloud over your head that you keep trying to hide from me, and you should know better." She scolded. I was usually intrigued and flabbergasted about how intuitive Alice is. "Come on," she said in a slightly pleading tone.

"You know you can tell me anything, anything at all. I'm here for you." I felt like such a crappy friend for blowing off her suspicions as nonsense, but, I wasn't ready to tell Alice what I told Edward. I was nowhere near as ready. "Look, Alice," I sighed.

"You need to give me time. Okay? This is nothing against you, I love you and Angela, really. But I'm not ready. I hope you can understand. I can't. Not now. I'm just...drained."I told her, hoping she would let it be for a while.

"Bella, I am seriously on my knees begging you not to keep it to yourself. If this is hurting you, I want—no, _need_ you to tell me. You're like a sister, Bella. And seeing you so blue is hurting me." I could just imagine Alice's expression and I felt like bursting into tears. "I know Alice. And I'm sorry. I really am, but don't worry, I will tell you. Soon, I promise." She sniffed.

"Okay," she said in a trembling voice. "But don't try to keep it from me for long. The sooner you get it out in the open, even if its just between us, you will feel better." I nodded and felt stupid because she couldn't see. "Okay, Alice. Now go to class before you get caught for skipping." She snorted. "Yeah, sure. I can just weasel my way out of detention anyway. I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked hopefully. "Yeah, I'll see you then, bye, Alice."

"Bye, Bella." She responded. The line went dead. I placed the cordless back in it's charger and stared at it for a while. I heaved out a deep breath, closing my eyes. This was going to be okay. Already I felt lighter, for speaking to Edward. Alice was right in some aspect.

Telling someone did make you feel better than before, if not completely healed, than at least better. I hoped Edward still expected me at lunch tomorrow. I didn't want to sit with anyone but him. Because he knew.

I resigned myself to the living room, thinking T.V would most likely slow my brain function down so I couldn't fixate on what happened very well.

I sat there for a while, until falling asleep.

"_Bella," he called from the forest._

_ "Bella, come with me. Please." He begged. _

_I could see his form from where I was standing a dozen feet away. _

_I took two eager steps toward him. There was blackness behind him, shadowing him. "Edward," I called. _

_He seemed lost and anxious. I wanted to comfort him. Tell him I would go with him, no matter what. "Bella." He shook his head. _

_"What?" I asked, looking him straight in the eye. His eyes were a mesmerising golden tone. _

_Not the piercing green I was used to, this would have shocked me in real life, but in my dreams, this seemed ordinary, as if they had always been that colour. _

_"I need you to understand." He told me, coming forward from the dim cover of the trees. "I need you to trust me." I nodded, under his spell. _

_"Of course." I whispered, desperate for him to know I trusted him already, and so deeply. "I do trust you." I said. He smiled, relieved. I heard a twig snap behind me. _

_Whipping my head around, my eyes rested on a creature—a dog, no, a wolf. The wolf took the form of Jacob. _

_I stood there, not afraid that he was some werewolf, but just afraid that he was there. I gasped, staggering backwards and falling into Edward. He caught me and held me to him. "Don't let him beat you." He whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes and rested against him. _

_"Don't let him have the pleasure. Don't let him beat you." He repeated. His voice provided the most beautiful music. Jacob's shape shimmered then disappeared. I smiled and turned to Edward. He smiled, but only halfway. That was always the smile I saw. _

_"Now, you need to help me." He said. I frowned. "I will." I said straight away."Help me." He begged, his voice growing faint. I ran toward him, grabbing his hand. _

_"Don't let it beat you." I repeated his earlier words. _

_He smiled at me, properly before he disappeared too. _

I woke up, screaming.

**:O LOL. Just a few author's notes.**

**Or one author's note.**

**The dream: The part about Jacob being a wolf then phasing into a human does not mean that this is all true to the book. They are all human, Jacob and none of the Quileuetes are wolves. I just thought I might add that part as a deriving aspect of Bella's imagination. It says earlier, I think in her last POV that she said Jacob was a monster. This is just her imagination forming this belief into a literal thing. It's poetic, really. *smug grin***

**Disclaimer: I. Do-on't. Own. Twiiiiligghhhhttt....... :D Hugs and kissses for all your reviews and favs and story alerts. I **insane puffy heart** you!**


	14. Consumed EPOV

If this is what it felt like. Being in love.

Then I was damn sure I had never been in love before.

And I knew that I would rather be killed than lose it. That fact was for certain. But unrequited love...? What did someone do when the affections you held were one-sided, only you felt them, the other person didn't. In this case, I was absolutely sure that Bella did not feel this way about me.

How could any normal person fall in love like this? The answer was that they didn't. Because I was not normal.

And to be quite honest, neither was Bella. Where I was under the bar, she rose above it. She wasn't normal, she was extraordinary, I wasn't normal, but I wasn't better either. I made it home without veering into a tree, thankfully. My mind was in a twist. My thoughts were all over the place. I needed to get a hold of myself. I wonder what Bella was doing right now. I could call her...? No. That would be stupid. I hardly know her, its not like I can go roaming through the phonebook, that's just...creepy.

She was probably fine. Despite chanting that sentence in my head, I was a mess. I was a mess because different scenarios were running through my imagination. I considered going over there after school, but that was before my epiphany, my fucking revelation. And besides, I didn't know where she lived.

Of course, her friends would know, but they wouldn't want to tell me. They hardly knew me, it's not like they go giving Bella's address to any weirdo that asks for it. I hit a pot plant off the porch in frustration. Damnit.

I should pick that up. Later. I stormed inside, dropping my book bag by the stairs. "Carlisle?" my voice echoed, reverberating off the expanse of walls in this enormous house. "I'm home." He came walking down the stairs then, stopping close enough so I could see him. He smiled in welcome. "How was school?" I shrugged.

"It was fine. Uh, good, actually." The fact that I called something good, plastered a huge grin across his face. I felt quite giddy myself.

Aside from the fact that I was in love with a girl I didn't deserve, who had been sexually assaulted, and who probably doesn't feel the same way, but I was still going to wait on her hand and foot until she begged me to leave her alone, but only after I beat the shit out of Jacob Black. But, yeah, aside from that.

Although the beating part was going to feel good. "Um, anyway," I started talking again, growing uncomfortable with the way he was staring.

"I'm gonna take a walk, if you don't mind." He nodded straight away. "Sure. But, oh, um, just be careful, the trails can get a bit dodgy." I nodded as I strode toward the back door through the kitchen. I sucked in a breath, letting it fill my lungs, enjoying the freshness of the air, slightly fragrant with what smelt like tulips and roses.

Esme must have planted those, because Carlisle wouldn't have invested his time in his garden. Plus, he was too macho. I chuckled.

I circled the outdoor dining table, my feet meeting the soft grass. I strolled casually down to where the forest ebbed on our lawn.

The green of the grass faded slightly as it sloped to the trees. The trail was off to the right. Following it, I set a pace, just walking slowly, taking in my surroundings, not being ignorant of everything around me. I had reached a point where I couldn't see the white mansion anymore.

Carlisle was probably watching me from his third story study room, his nose pressed up against the glass to see if I'd gone out here to hang myself or something. I shook my head, it wouldn't surprise me. I did kind of give off that impression.

The psychopathic loner that stalks his classmate and broods while taking long forest hikes.

Yeah, I should make a bumper sticker.

I pause for a moment, my feet crunching quietly on the twigs and leaves beneath them.

I was actually using a sense of humour. I laughed. I actually laughed. A bird got scared and flew off, cawing.

I sighed and sat down, not caring if my clothes got dirty. This is certainly something a psychopathic loner would do, but I didn't think to care.

I was thinking about Bella. What if she wasn't okay? What if she was upset and needed someone. _No, you idiot_. That voice in my head told me, what was it's name again?

Oh, rationality. Her father would eventually be home, he was equipped to take care of her, better than me. He was her father, they shared blood, it just came naturally. I rested my head on the large spruce behind me, staring up at the thick forest canopy that blotted out the sun, making it gloomy yet mystical. The atmosphere was very calming. But nothing would make me forget about Bella, or how distraught she was today.

But I had to be patient. I couldn't go calling her or showing up at her house.

That was stupid and an invasion of her privacy, she probably wanted to be alone, anyway.

I would want to be alone—or at least with Bella. I groaned. Were my thoughts ever going to be about something other than her? Is she going to consume me for the rest of my life? I knew the answer, but it didn't make me mad or angry. It just made me...forlorn.

I will never forget her, but when she eventually moves away, grows up, she'll forget about me. The rest of my days, will undoubtedly revolve around her and what I feel for her. I sighed. So, this was my punishment, then? I nodded to myself.

It was bad enough. I didn't know how long I had been sitting there, soaking the rain water, but when I finally stood up and started walking back home, the sun was almost all the way over the horizon.

***

After a whole week, I thought my feelings would have dimmed, gotten past the shock and settled.

But no, this was a punishment, after all. So, instead of dulling, numbing, they only grew more intense.

Bella sat with me every day. I grinned uncontrollably when she sat down, deciding that she liked to sit with me in preference to the other table with the friends she's known longer. I felt like smirking at Newton. But those plans always vanished when he reached over to place his hand on Bella's knee.

I thought about how this had merely disgusted me a month ago. Now, I felt like I should break his hand, and maybe the body connected to it.

He had come over to our table. I had, reluctantly, shrugged my shoulders, indicating to a seat that was farthest away from Bella. But instead, he took the one right next to her. I could see it in her face, how uncomfortable it was for her. What she must be reminded of when he touched her.

My jaw clenched, I stared into her eyes. She must have seen the anger displayed in mine. I stood up woodenly, leaving my food on the table, pocketing my IPod. I took the two necessary steps toward them, standing over him, glaring. He noticed and stood up awkwardly. I was over six feet tall. So I had almost a foot on him.

"Bella?" I said, softly, not taking my eyes off him. "Do you want to come to the library with me?" I suggested. If my face wasn't painted in a dark and furious mask, anyone would think I was having a normal conversation with her. I heard her chair scrape as she stood from her chair, coming over to my side. I had to hand it to Mike, he didn't back down, didn't look away. He could probably even fight, maybe get a few punches in, not just curl up in a ball. He was persistent, like Bella had told me.

"Yeah," she finally answered.

"I need help with my English assignment anyway. Come on," she murmured, grasping my forearm. My anger dissolved—fractionally. Her touch was like an antidote. I narrowed my eyes at Newton and started to back away, turning on my heel and letting Bella lead me outside.

I glanced over my shoulder at him. He had sat back down, his arms folded across his chest and a sullen expression on his face. My early observations of Mike had proven correct.

Exhibit A: Douche bag.

I could almost hear the obscenities streaming through his mind at that moment, all with my name included. He just made me so angry.

I wanted to crush him, he was no better than Jacob. I took a deep breath, trying to get a grip on my temper. Bella watched me as we stood, immobile outside the cafeteria, in the same hall she had broken down in last week. "Are you—are you okay?" she asked, a smile in her voice. I looked down at her, surprised. She raised an eyebrow.

"I hate Newton." I stated matter-of-factly. She laughed.

"You know what? So do I." She said, grinning. I smiled and Bella seemed to have a coronary. I took one more glance through the doors.

I don't know what I was capable of anymore.

Especially if he fucked with my girl.

**Nawwww. Hehe. Edward is a little more light-hearted than usual in this chapter. Which I liked. But I like brooding Edward too. He seems more sexy, which really shows my mental stability. Anywho, more updates in the next few days. Um, hope you like this chapter. Not as good as the last, I must admit, and not as long either. The last chapter was my favourite so far. The dream sequence :D Uh, so yeah Disclaimer: I do not own TWILIGHT.**


	15. Fear to Disappear BPOV

**Author's note: To the people who have reviewed. *bows down and kisses feet* Thankyou. And to the person who asked what Jacob did to Bella, I haven't actually divulged details, gosh, even Edward doesn't know. Those will come to the forefront soon, you will find out, in other words. Stay tuned :)**

I had had dreams before.

Tonnes of them. Scary ones, too.

Terrifyingly vivid nightmares. But—nothing, nothing compared to this.

I sat bolt upright, screaming at the top of my lungs. Why was I screaming?

I glanced around me, my breathing and heart beat was erratic. What the hell is wrong with me?

Why had that dream been so horrifying? Maybe I was developing Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.

I gulped loudly, trying to gather my bearings. "Oh, god." I sighed. I slumped back onto the couch, resting my head. I was shivering and my face felt hot. I wiped under my eyes with cold fingers. I was crying. What a disturbing experience. I had been so gut-wrenchingly scared that I woke up screaming and crying at the top of my lungs.

I clenched my fists and shook them out, they were cramped. I had been clawing and grabbing at the sofa. I shook my head, no wanting to think about the dream too much. But what was most perplexing, when I thought about it—was that dream wouldn't be scary to any normal person.

I placed a shaking hand to my chest, and as suspected, my heart was thumping a hundred miles an hour.

I hear it in my ears. I stood up, still shaky, but not the screaming mess I was a moment ago. I had problems.

I dredged through my memory of it. Apart from the wolf transforming into Jacob—which should have been frightening enough, but apparently not to me—there was nothing else.

I shuddered, hoping this wasn't a recurring nightmare. I would have to get a prescription for some sleeping pills. I didn't know how successful I might be, seeing as I would need Charlie there with me. Asking Charlie to get me pills wasn't conducive to not telling him the reason for needing them. I flicked that thought into the trash.

As long as I didn't have any sugar or caffeine before bed I should be okay. I prayed I would be.

To take my mind off it, I started Charlie's dinner—lasagne. I brooded silently over the pasta sauce as it simmered in the pot on the stove. I was still shaken up about it, not able to shake the feeling of unease it brought, the dream, that is. I was a wreck. I had felt so light and at least a little cheery when I had gotten home.

Thanks to Edward. He was so great for being there for me today. Mulling over Edward made me feel better.

I smiled inwardly, and shook my head at myself.

I sighed and turned the stove off.

***

That nightmare—dream was getting on my nerves.

It hadn't repeated itself like I was afraid it might, instead it stayed locked and festering at the farthest corner of my mind.

It was like a nagging sibling. It was annoying the hell out of me. I needed to decipher it. Why was it so important to me?

Why couldn't I just get on with my life and forget about it? It was like having the melody of a familiar song in your head, yet you're unable to place a name to it. I felt like hitting something. My frustration was starting to show—Charlie certainly noticed. It was on Friday night.

I was cooking dinner when my finger brushed the searing hot frying pan. I gasped and swore at the top of my lungs.

Charlie came running in, only to find me crying on the floor. "Bella? What's wrong?" he asked, kneeling down. "Stupid pan," I grumbled.

Charlie blinked and chuckled. "Come on, sweetheart." He said, grabbing my arm and helping me up. I was clenching and unclenching my fists, staring off into the distance, seeing nothing. "Honey, is there something wrong?" "Huh?" I mumbled, focussing on Charlie who was standing at the fridge, getting a cold pack for me.

"You seem very pre-occupied lately. That's all." I shrugged it off. "Nah. Just school is getting a little... It's nothing." I sighed and stood up.

"Here," he said, handing me the cold pack wrapped in a wash cloth. "Thanks, Dad." I murmured, smiling. He cleared his throat and shuffled back into the lounge room. He never was the one for emotional displays. I grimaced and got back to cooking, still grumbling about wolves and hot pans.

If I was worried about Edward's reaction to my secret, I needn't have worried at all. He was perfectly the same as always, spare the odd death glare at people. I just brushed it off, he wasn't a people person. That was fine with me. So he wasn't a people person? At least he was a person person.

Meaning he was willing to tolerate one person in his life—namely me. I was euphoric, he actually preferred my company to everyone else's. He didn't broach on the subject at all. He was giving me time and space to let me tell him whatever I felt like telling him. He was so patient and understanding.

I sat with him every day. I had received a few curious and incredulous stares from Angela and Alice, so I had to explain to them that I was helping Edward fit in.

Angela had smiled approvingly; Alice had grudgingly accepted my excuse. But that was Alice, she despised being out of the loop. I was snapped out of staring at Edward as he listened to his IPod, his foot tapping against the table leg, when Mike came strutting toward me. I glanced at Edward, he was looking him up and down with narrowed eyes.

I bit my lip. "Hey, Bella." He smirked. I rolled my eyes. "Hey," I murmured, paying more attention to Edward than him. I shifted in my seat, slightly uncomfortable under his gaze. "Mind if I sit with you guys?" _Yes,_ I thought. I watched Edward's face. It flashed with a foreign emotion. He was probably thinking the same thing as me.

Then his expression flattened, he motioned with his hands to sit. I think he meant at the seat furthest away from both of us, but instead he took the closest to me.

I cringed internally, keeping a fake smile plastered on my face. Edward saw right through it, of course. I flinched when Mike's hand landed on my leg.

He didn't seem to notice anymore, he must be doing it without noticing. I felt like prying each finger off, breaking them or at least crushing them in a vice.

I peeked at Edward, his eyes were dark—scary. I blinked, shocked. He was so intimidating, so...threatening. I could see the muscles in his jaw tense like he was angry. He stood up then, walking over to Mike, who's hand hadn't left it's place on my knee. He towered over him, I hadn't realised how tall he was. He looked so sinister.

I glanced, wide-eyed between the two, growing more anxious when Mike stood up to match Edward's stance.

Of course, it was a wasted effort, Edward standing almost a foot above him. I almost piped in to tell them to settle down, but I couldn't make my voice work.

They stood there, staring each other down, I swear I saw Edward's hand twitch. "Bella?" he asked in a soft, normal, velvety voice. "Do you want to come to the library with me?" he said, his voice the same tone, harmless aside from a faint tinge of menace. I stared at him, he was staring at Mike, who was standing in between us.

I was still sitting, I thought everybody in the room has their eyes on their confrontation, but it looked like no-one seemed to notice. "Yeah," I finally choked out, nervously standing up from my seat and walking to Edward's side, an unconscious display of who's side I would chose in a fight.

"I need help with my English assignment anyway. Come on," I said, tugging at Edward. He relaxed, glared at Mike a little more before turning around and walking with me. I lead him out into the halls. He glanced back over his shoulder, his eyes still completely dark. They usually seemed to change colour with his moods. Of course, they would only change shades of greens, not actual colours, like the buttery ochre in my dream. Ugh, that dream.

My eyes focussed on his clenched fists, he seemed angry—really angry.

"Are you—are you okay?" I asked, surprised. He looked down into my eyes, I raised an eyebrow, waiting for an answer.

"I hate Newton." He stated. I burst out in a fit of laughter. "You know what? So do I." I told him, not afraid of admitting it.

Mike was friends with everyone, if I said it out loud, they'd be insulted and angry at me. His eyes sparkled and I got lost in them...again. Those eyes. Sigh. What was it?

What was it that was so compelling about Edward? I felt like the answer was on the tip of my tongue. And then...he smiled.

A real smile. Not a ghost of one, something utterly genuine and un-planned. It reached his eyes, lighting his entire face up. I thought I might pass out. That smile, those eyes.

_That smile_.

Edward smiled—at me.

I made him smile.

I made him _really _smile.

I felt my memories of that dream flood back through my mind.

I had been terrified in the cafeteria.

I knew all too well that Edward could definitely take care of himself, probably with his eyes closed.

But that didn't smother my anxiety, my fear of him getting hurt, of closing off again. Of disappearing.

I was attached to him, it had happened so fast, so unexpectedly. I gulped. Edward was what my head revolved around. He consumed every thought I had.

He invaded my dreams. He held the most important part of my conscious life. The choking terror of him disappearing, it finally made sense. It made sense all along.

I was trying to decipher it, that it had some deep and cryptic meaning. When the explanation to my fear was so clear, so simple. The realisation slapped me across the face. I just hadn't seen it sooner.

_I love you._

**:D HEHEHE yay! I know right? Finally. God, she is a little daft, isn't she? *sigh* Anyways, hope you enjoyed this one. Will try to update again within a few hours. We shall find out some more details of what happened to Bella later on. Umm, they might have a romantic clinch...very awkward coz they're both crazy for eachother. So, that should be fun. Uh, tell me what you think. :)**


	16. She's got me EPOV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Dayum.**

I looked back at Bella, she looked ill.

I frowned, leaning down to her eye level.

"Hey, are _you_ okay?" I asked soothingly.

Well, I tried to get my voice to sound soothing. She looked freaked out.

Maybe I was acting a little too scary.

Fine, I would change that. I tried to put on a non-threatening expression.

My eyes started to cross. I shook my head. "Come on." She murmured, then started off to the library.

I followed suit. We chose the far corner, next to the classic novels, away from the chatting juniors.

I pulled a seat out for her, she didn't seem to notice, so I just sat down myself. I crossed my arms and watched Bella.

She was staring at her hands, her face seemed troubled. I took a chance. A stupid one, but that didn't stop me. After all, I was an idiot.

Why stop now? I reached over and pulled her chin up with my finger. "Bella. I'm sorry if I scared you." This must have been funny.

Her lips trembled, she clamped them together. A few giggles escaped her lips. I frowned. Ouch, wound to the ego. _Ha, serves you right, you cocky douche bag._

The voice in my head told me. "I'm sorry," she apologised, shaking her head.

"No, it's not that you scared me." She reassured me. "I'm not afraid of you."

I smiled again, for the second time. Bella's entire face lit up again, like I had given her the best gift in the world.

Her eyes glistened happily. I felt an intense urge to take her face in my hands. But, I couldn't, obviously. But, missing this? I would wait for Bella, I resolved. I would wait for whatever length of time. She was worth it, she was worth everything. My hands would carry her, I wouldn't let her go.

I sighed, completely absorbed. Bella had a hold on me, one she was completely unaware of.

It was kind of unfair.

I half-smiled at myself.

She had a hold.

She had the power to break me, she beared all the love that was left in me.

***

Another week. Another week of raging silently on the inside whenever Mike would look at Bella.

You didn't have to be a freaking psychologist to interpret the expression on his face.

I was standing by my locker, subconsciously watching Bella from the corner of my eye.

She would walk up to me in a moment and we would walk into lunch together.

Mike had stopped in front of her, leaning his arm against her locker, blocking her exit. Going with the assumption, that he would like to keep hold of all his limbs, he should move out of the way. I bit my lip, considering my next move. My mind was warring.

Did I want to go over there to help Bella out of a situation with a boy she and I both loathed? Yes, definitely. But, did I want to do it because I was so insanely jealous? Maybe. I sighed. And, did I want to go over there, take Bella away and kick Mike Newton in the teeth because I harboured a tonne of feelings for the girl he was hitting on?

Yes. But, I mean, I had heard that violence never solved anything—cough, cough, bullshit, cough. I guess there was an element of truth behind it, but that saying didn't mention how fun violence was when you inflicted it upon someone like Mike. My feet were moving before I knew it. Well, thats decided then.

I stopped beside Bella, she seemed to sense me, surely I wasn't the only one who could feel the electricity surge around us?

She turned and handed me a thankful smile. I smiled back. In a smooth, nonchalant gesture, shocking all three of us, I wrapped my hand around Bella's.

She looked up at me, wide eyes sparkling with what I hoped was pleasure and not abhorrence. I took it as a good sign when she squeezed my fingers. Her small hand was lost in mine. I pulled her away from Mike, walking hand-in-hand toward the cafeteria where we would sit together, like every day, away from Newton. I grinned.

I felt the current through the skin where we touched. It was sizzling, I had to check to make sure our fingers weren't glowing.

I reluctantly let her hand go when we sat down, I infinitesimally scooted my chair closer as I was pulling it into the table. She caught me, but didn't say anything, just looked down bashfully. I wanted to roll my eyes. But I chuckled. "Well, that was fun." I said, smugly. She looked up through her eyelashes.

I stared intently, wondering if I was being inappropriate. My breathing caught. God, she was dangerous. Somehow, she knew just how to drive me crazy. She smiled up at me. "Definitely." She grinned.

I gathered that Bella and her father were relatively close. Charlie, his name was, had lived here with her mother when Bella was born. Her mother, Renee, had left her father when she was a baby, flying across the country to Phoenix, Arizona. She vaguely mentioned how she used to visit every Summer and one Christmas.

She tip-toed around the details, and I knew why. She went on to tell me about her life in the Valley of the Sun. She wasn't popular, she never had a boyfriend, she had a select few friends. That was the way she liked it. She saw herself as ordinary, as insignificant. If only she knew how significant she really was.

"So, how come?" I asked, averting my eyes. "How come what? How come I've never had a boyfriend?" I nodded, trying to look uninterested. She sighed.

"Well," she leaned forward over the table, playing with her apple. "I just never found what I was looking for." She glanced up at me. I frowned.

"So people asked you out then?" I clarified. Of course they would, she was a knockout. She shook her head.

"Nope." She grinned. My mouth was hanging open. "Oh," I murmured, feeling awkward.

"You ever been to a prom?" I asked, biting my apple. She shook her head vigorously. I already knew the answer to this one.

"I told you before, I can't dance. It would be dangerous for me to attend. Someone could get hurt." She said, thoughtfully.

I smirked. "Have you?" she asked, perking an eyebrow. "Once," I shook my head, shuddering. I laughed once, sinking into memories.

"It wasn't that bad, but my Mum—" I stopped short. "Uh, it was alright." I concluded lamely. She seemed to notice my reluctance and decided not to push it further. I was shocked she had never been asked out on a date. "Wait, Mike asked you out on a date." I reminded her, she scowled. "Well, no-one asked me out in Phoenix."

She explained. I nodded slowly. I could see how someone might be intimidated at the thought of asking her. What if she didn't say yes? I cringed at that. I tried practicing my natural gift of observing. I asked her a question and tried to see if I could siphon out her reaction. I was not able to get anything. Her mind was impenetrable.

I wanted to scream. Her mental silence was so rare. Usually people were so shallow, wearing their emotions on their sleeves.

And if not, then you could read it in their eyes. And I was eerily accurate most of the time. But with Bella, it was impossible. I sighed, yet another reason why I was so involved. She presented something I had wished for. Someone who I couldn't tell what they were thinking, it may be frustrating, but it was also unpredictable, so captivating.

Peaceful, even. I took relish in the peace, rather than stew in the fact that I couldn't decode her thoughts.

"Oh my god!" Bella cried out.

"What? What?" I asked, jumpy. "Oh, crap," she muttered, putting her head in her hands. I glanced around, ready to pummel Newton if thats what was upsetting her.

"I forgot my painting. Crap! It's at home." "Oh," I said, relieved. "Well, we can go get it." I suggested. She looked back up at me, shaking her head regretfully. "We can't leave now, we'll get caught and be in more trouble. Mrs. Kyle asked me to have it today.

She's gonna be so pissed." Bella groaned. I bit my lip. "We could always skip...?" I formed the sentence into a question. She bit her lip and frowned at me, considering. "No, we can't. We shouldn't..." I raised my eyebrows. Her face looked calculating. "Okay." She said finally, easily. I blinked.

"Okay." I agreed.

***

We waited until everyone had left the cafeteria.

Peeking out the doors, the halls were empty.

That was when we made our break.

We slinked down the empty hallways, the lights dim.

I had skipped before, many times before back home. It was easy, I had gotten used to it.

It didn't at all hold the excitement it used to after doing it so often. But now, with Bella, I felt like a giddy school kid, ditching class for the first time.

We snickered quietly as we ducked under the windows on the classroom doors. We slid on the floor, carefully manoeuvring out of view, keeping to the shadows until we reached Bella's locker. Mine was a bit further down. She stopped at hers and slowly, carefully opened it.

We both looked at each other when the metal squeaked, her face flushed pink. I put a hand over my mouth, she did the same, trying not to laugh. She grabbed her jacket and shrugged it on, slinging her bag over her shoulder while stealing glances around. I grabbed my jacket, put it on and reached for my book bag. She was walking toward me then, her hands in their pockets. "Hurry up!" she whispered. "We—" she broke off at the sound of footsteps.

Her eyes widened. "Fuck," she muttered.

That almost made me fall over with laughter.

Instead of giggling at profanities, I swiftly grabbed Bella around the waist and pulled her into the janitor's closet that was situated a few feet away from my locker. It was cramped, I'll admit. My breath was brushing against her, rustling her brown waves of hair.

Our bodies were pressed against one another. I could feel my heart beat rattling through my chest.

That probably wasn't healthy. Her face was so closed to mine. We held our breaths as the footsteps came closer. We could see a shadow through the gap under the door. I tensed, squeezing Bella. My arms were all the way around her, and she wasn't objecting.

_Of course she's not objecting, retard. You're in a storage closet. There's no room for her to object._

Oh. I was staring at her face, her eyes were fixed on the door.

I could feel her hitched breathing against me, I could almost feel her heart beat through our clothes.

She was so warm. She smelled so beautiful.

Standing here, not being able to do anything about it. It was excruciating. The footsteps retreated. We let out a sigh of relief. I hadn't realised Bella's hands were on my arms until she removed them, letting them slide down my forearms to my hands then they dropped to her sides. I hesitantly unwound my arms from her waist and dropped them to my sides.

"Well," she said, sounding like she was out of breath.

"That was a close one, wasn't it?" she squeaked.

I laughed glumly.

"Yes." I agreed.

"It definitely was."

**HAHA. I admit here, that if something like that happened to me, a teacher coming around the corner when you were supposed to be in class and a girl like Bella says "Fuck." I would definitely blow our cover by laughing my ass off right there. Fuck skipping, detention was worth it *giggles*. Oh, and how do you like the tension? Mmm. saucy. Fuck, Edward is so gorgeous. Ahem *straightens shirt* anyway. Tell me what you think. 3 Love.**


	17. Breathe BPOV part 1

**When you get passed the Bella's truck scene, start playing "Breathe (2am)-Anna Nalick" It works well. This is my longest chapter EVER. I am pretty proud of this one. :)**

It was unbearable.

_He_ was unbearable.

Having my body pressed up against his was unbelievable.

His arms were around my waist, holding me. I felt like I would have an aneurism.

_Oh, crap. I need to get out of here._ The footsteps retreated and we both let out a gust of air.

Now, to get out before I do something rash. And I was seriously doubting my ability to control myself.

The way he smelled. It wasn't like any one scent. It was a mixture, made into his own personal cologne. I felt like I could devour it. He was so warm, I wanted to stay like this forever. But, I couldn't let my feelings get out of hand. Things would just shatter. Our friendship, for one, the most important. I could not and would not lose it.

I knew before that I wouldn't be the one to end it, either. So, it was all up to him. I had left him with a choice he didn't even know about. I wonder if he knew the effect he had on me. Maybe he did, and maybe he did it intentionally. I shook my head once, dispelling those tempting thoughts.

"Well," I said, disentangling myself from him. His arms were slow, unwrapping around me like they were frozen—from shock. I was shocked. "That was a close one, wasn't it?" I squeaked, unable to keep my voice from breaking, I'm sure my traitor cheeks were pink right now.

Lucky this closet had no lights. I walked forward to the door, testing the knob, cringing whenever it made a noise.

Edward was right behind me, and I was hyperaware of it. I had yearned to touch his luminescent skin, and now, after touching it, I thought my thirst would be quenched. But no, having a small taste only made me want the whole thing. I grimaced as I stepped into the deserted hallway.

"Okay, come on." I said, motioning with my hand. Edward stepped out and quietly closed the door behind him, the door clicking back into place.

I slowly crept my way down the hallway, breaking into a brisk walk as I passed the gym doors.

Edward must have had the same idea, he ran straight into me. "Shit, sorry." He whispered, his hands grabbing my arms so I didn't face-plant into the floor. That would be quite the situation to explain to the school nurse—not to mention Charlie. "It's okay." I breathed. "Um, which way should we go out?"

I asked, breathless, my pulse was thumping like a humming bird's wings. He seemed to be calculating, biting his lip.

He leaned toward me, then out into the connecting hallway, checking around the corners to make sure no-one was coming.

"This way." He hissed, pulling me along with him. I held my breath, afraid of our proximity.

I didn't know how much longer I could take of this. God hated me, if he wanted me to suffer this torture. I suddenly realised something as Edward's hand wrapped around my forearm and dragged us through the fire exit next to the gym. I had grown an aversion to contact.

Jake was the catalyst. Because of what he did, I hated to be touched.

I would subconsciously flinch away whenever anyone but Alice or Angela went to hug me. Charlie didn't hug, though, and I wasn't afraid of him. Edward? I felt so safe. I felt whole. I'd never thought Edward would be the one to heal me.

And yet, here we were, acting like kids, with no problems, carefree with a tinge of sizzling electricity spreading through our skin. What more could you want? I certainly wouldn't be able to find anyone else like Edward. That sounded cliché, but when you're in love? Who cares? When you receive something so far beyond belief after you've been damage beyond the point of repair? Nobody, nothing could compete with that.

That's how I knew I would get no better. Edward. You couldn't get better than him.

In fact, I didn't want anyone but him. I _wanted_ him. I felt slightly relieved and light, admitting it to myself, if only in my head.

But the led weight of denial that had been holding me down the past week was disintegrating.

I felt new, and fresh, but still held the burden of my past. It was a shame to think that although Edward would be in my every thought, I still couldn't _not_ think about the bad things. _Jacob._ I could definitely live to be happy, but Jacob had taken a part of me that I couldn't get back.

He ruined me, left me broken, physically and emotionally.

But people have pasts, histories that they can't pretend didn't happen, they can't deny, because deep down they know, and the fact that it will live with them forever is painful. I hoped Jacob would live with it forever, not forgetting for a single day how he was a true monster.

Not a fairytale one, not a werewolf, a real monster. One that lived to kill people's souls, their security, who they were.

I had to live with it. I knew other people lived with the same thing happening to them. Destroying them.

I also knew Edward was. I don't know how, but I just knew there was something torturing him on the inside. He assumed I didn't see it, but I did. And maybe one day, when he fully trusts me, the way I trust him, he will tell me. Until then, I will remain the loyal friend, because thats all that he saw me as.

I could possibly live through it. I actually had no idea if I would or not. But I wasn't about to let him go or ruin what we had already because I felt like being selfish. What kind of person would I be? The sky outside was grey, a thick cloud cover was hanging over us. Edward let go of me then and we strolled quietly down the grass hill past the cafeteria until we got to the parking lot. "You do this often?" I asked curiously. "What makes you think so?" he asked back, smirking.

"Oh, answering a question with a question. Suspicious." I teased, he grinned. I would never get over the fact that I achieved that smile. I was the one who gave it to him. "You're a pro at this, anyone would think you do it every day." I raised an eyebrow and nudged his arm playfully.

Unable to grasp a sense of reality when our skin came into contact. "—doesn't count." He said, smirking at me. _Crap! Damn him, he did it again!_ My inner monologue screamed at me. So, instead of asking what he said, like an imbecile, I just nodded knowingly and smiled back.

I sighed, wondering when I'd be able to pay attention while simultaneously looking him in the eye. Probably never. _Fuck._ We rounded the corner, Edward came to a dead halt.

"Fuck!" he hissed. "What the hell happened?" he groaned, dashing down the concrete stairs. "What? What happened?" I asked, then didn't need the answer after I saw.

Edward's car, sleek, silver, magnificent. Was ruined. I staggered over to him as he knelt by the tyres. Slashed. "Oh, shit." I muttered lamely.

Edward laughed once without humour and shook his head. "I can't believe this." He murmured. I scanned the ransacked vehicle with my mouth hanging open. It appeared that all four tyres were slashed and torn at, the windshield was smeared with what looked like potato salad from lunch and there were profanities spray painted in green across every surface of the body. I looked over my shoulders, waiting to find my truck covered in mayonnaise.

But it was spotless, possibly even less dirty than this morning. I frowned, confused. Edward was now standing up, his hand stroking the roof.

"Carlisle won't be happy." He murmured, mostly to himself. I turned to face him and hesitantly put my hand on his arm.

"What kind of retards would just do your car? I mean, its the closest to the school, they had plenty of others..." I trailed off, seeing the look in his face. It dawned on me. "Mike?" I asked incredulously. "Newton." He finished, his voice a tone lower and more menacing. I bit my lip, torn between guilt and sympathy. "Edward, I'm so sorry—"

"Don't apologise, Bella." He scolded. I shut my mouth. He sighed and turned to me, shaking his head. "I don't care if he vandalised my car. He was being an asshole to you. I don't care what he does to me." I blinked, surprised, flattered and full of hope. Don't hope, I told myself.

That is not a smart thing to do. If you want to keep your sanity—what's left of it, you will not hope that this means anything. Because it doesn't, and I should know that, I was just setting myself up for heart break. The feeling I knew all to well. "Why don't you get a lift with me?" I offered, blushing. His eyebrows rose.

"Sure, okay. If that's alright with you." I nodded, a little to eagerly. He followed me to my truck. I reached over, unlocking his door. I felt so self-conscious, him seeing me in my natural setting—my 53 Chevy pickup. I smiled sheepishly and shoved the key in the ignition. It roared to life underneath us. I looked around then hastily pulled out of my parking space, turning on to the highway—with Edward, on my front seat.

Swoon.

***

"Where are you taking me?" Edward asked warily.

"Um, I don't know. I need directions. Which way to your house?" I asked.

He pointed behind him with his thumb. I rolled my eyes. "You could have told me. Now we have to make a U-turn. Ugh."

He chuckled. "Sorry, you just seemed so comfortable, I didn't want to wake you up out of your dream state." He admitted, staring out the window.

I blushed, not realising that he was watching me that intently. "Take this one." He instructed. "Now, go left." I blinked. "Where's your driveway...?" I asked, uncertain, slowing the truck to a crawl. "Right there." He pointed to a space between the expanses of trees. "Oh, well, anyone who couldn't see that is just...blind." I scoffed sarcastically.

He laughed. "Yeah, you get used to it." I spun into the driveway, it was long. It was really long. It was like a freaking landing strip. "How long is this thing?" I asked, exasperated. "It's never ending!" Edward just laughed some more. Finally, there was a break in the trees ahead, situated in a luscious green meadow, was a gigantic white house.

Restored from it's former dilapidation. It was..."Beautiful," I breathed, my eyes wide and unblinking as I stared out the windshield. "Holy crap," I croaked.

I stepped on the brake. I looked over to my side where Edward was watching me, with an amused expression. "What?" I asked, smiling. He shook his head. "Nothing. Do you...want to come inside?" he asked, glancing at me. I shrugged, trying to be casual and failing. "Okay." I nodded and grinned, excited that I was seeing the inside of Edward's house.

I felt like I might learn where all the magic happened, seeing his personal space seemed like such a personal thing to do. You had to know and trust someone to let them in your house. If a stranger showed up at the door—Charlie's rule still stuck even after I was eleven—I didn't let them inside, instead I told them I would leave a message for Charlie and bid them a goodbye. Most people around here were strangers to start with anyway.

I flung open my door, eager to explore the magnificent mansion that was Edward's home.

Edward's home. I was smiling goofily as I tried to slide out of my seat and onto the gravel driveway.

I hated that I was so clumsy. But, I had grown used to it, however, I had not grown used to someone catching me. Edward catching me in his arms. How many times had he done that now? He was my life preserve, my saviour. The loose gravel rolled under my shoe, I lost my grip and went flying. And, I shouldn't have squealed, Edward would have caught me anyway, because he was always catching me. In every sense of the word. He reached out in front of me.

"Whoah," he said, I could hear the smile in his voice. "Careful, okay?" he said, grabbing my hand and towing me up the porch steps. I felt so...shy and giddy. He got a key out of his pocket and unlocked the door. I gasped as I stepped over the threshold. "Holy mother of f..." I let the word trail off. Swearing in this house felt like swearing in a church. You felt really guilty, like you had vandalised it somehow, tainted it. I shut my mouth and gazed around in awe.

"You live here?" I asked incredulously. Edward just shrugged. I was shocked at his casualness. But then again, I had gathered that Edward wasn't really a material person. Objects didn't matter unless there was depth to them. Just like how people didn't matter if they were shallow.

I shook my head, lost for words. From the white walls to the crisp cream sofas. "It's amazing. I've never seen anything like it," I murmured. "Me either." Edward whispered. I don't think he meant for me to hear it. He was staring at me. I smiled and glanced around. "What do we do now?" I asked curiously, excitedly and completely nervous.

Wordlessly, he took me by the hand, my heart fluttered.

He walked me out the back door. The grass was pliable under my shoes, it was soft.

We were in the middle of the lawn. He stopped. Turning around, he grabbed both my hands.

We stared. His eyes, bright, his face, determined. Just breathe. Breathe.

I felt like I was on the edge of the cliff, this point. I could either step back, move away. Or I could plunge, into the unknown.

We just stared, not moving, my hands in his.

Just breathe.

His hand hesitantly moved to my cheek, cupping it as gently as the touch of a feather.

_Breathe, breathe, breathe!_

My cheeks burned. But our expressions didn't change. We didn't smile. We stayed staring. Intense.

His eyes flickered to my lips. I felt him, the energy between us.

My eyes stayed locked with his. We moved closer. His hand moved to my chin, holding it up.

The smouldering electricity was out of control. I was gone.

Our bodies were pressed against each other.

Breathe.

His breath brushed my face. Our lips inches apart.

_Oh, god._

I breathed his scent in, closing my eyes.

Our lips met.

I no longer lived for just me.

**Oh god. *tear* this was very emotional for me *sniff*. I love that last line. Tell me what you think. Love reviews! Thanks for reading. :) **


	18. Agonised Slumber BPOV part 2

**This is a Bella's POV. Just because thats how I roll. I know, two in a row, but I thought it would work better this way. I strongly recommend you listen to "Chasing Cars-Snow Patrol", "Breathe(2 am)-Anna Nalick", "The Reason-Hoobastank" or "3 Doors Down- Here without you." They go along well with the story. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. :D**

My fingers twirled into his hair, grasping at the silky bronze strands.

His left hand cupped my face, his fingers combing through my curls. His lips were gentle, and giving, mine molding perfectly with his.

I turned my face, needing more of him. I felt like I would lose him, I needed him to be closer.

Our breathing was laboured, our lips finally breaking apart. I sucked in a breath, realising I had virtually stopped inhaling.

My arms were around his neck, his hands were on my shoulders. There was a tenseness in his posture. I frowned. It was then that I realised he thought he made a mistake.

If only I could tell him, it was the best moment I had ever experienced, a moment I would want to live in forever. Even if it meant I would only see him and no-one else for the rest of my life. I wanted to tell him how irrationally in love with him I was. But the look on his face kept my strangled confessions locked up in my head.

His eyes were not sparkling, his eyes were toneless, bleak. He looked broken, torn. I felt tears well up in my eyes as his hands drew away. Had I gone too far? My mind was so confused. I hadn't realised the implications of my actions, of course that was me, wasn't it? A clutz, damaging, stupid, selfish.

I had single handedly destroyed us. I had ruined our friendship. With a kiss. One that would bring me physical pain to regret.

I did not regret feeling whole, and loved. I regretted the manner in which I did it. I could have waited. But I went ahead, forcing myself to unsuspecting Edward. _I _was a monster. I needed to be detained, put away, if this is what happened when I associated with people.

The way I broke Edward. He didn't look me in the eye, this was only more wounds in my chest.

I was choking, a lump rising in my throat. This? This was unfixable, unrepairable, just like me. I was on the cliff, I had just been pushed. I was hurtling through the air, no safety net. I clenched my teeth, tears of inner hatred and self loathe running down my cheeks. "I—I think you should go." He said, his voice uneven, shocked..._broken_.

I pressed my lips together to smother the shattered cries about to erupt from my throat. I sucked in a pained sob, his head lifted, his eyes wide. I nodded, trying not to let him see my face. I had found my reason. The reason for me to be here, the reason I had for _being_. I turned and ran.

A faint, mumbled, gutted cry of "Bella," sounding in my head. I wish it was Edward—not my head. That was the way the guy was supposed to sound, calling out for you, begging you not to leave. But this wasn't it. Life wasn't perfect. People found what I did and they lost it, they didn't get to keep it.

Because? Because, like me, people are stupid. I was hanging on by a thread. I threw myself into my truck. My chest was aching, like someone had stabbed me repeatedly. Cold, icy and searing hot pain all at once. I sobbed, my throat aching with each cry. My outburst, my breakdown was clouding my head. Before now, I had seen so clearly. Now?

I didn't know what to do. But I did know who I was. I was damaged, I was worthless, unwanted and unlovable. I gasped for air, trying to glue myself back together.

My heart was clawing up my throat. My eyes were stinging with tears, hot, salty and never-ending. The truck groaned as I tried to escape. I was pushing on the gas, going faster than what my truck allowed. It didn't like it. "Come on!" I screamed at it, frustrated and messed up.

"Oh, god!" I wailed. I was blind through the tears. There was a darkness creeping around me. I shuddered, adding to the already convulsive tremors shaking me. I leaned over the steering wheel, I had turned off the highway. It was deserted. There wasn't even the slightest chance anyone would come past me during my episode. I hoped. No-one should have to witness this. I felt like it was contagious. I felt like my pain would spread.

And experiencing this was horrible, I would never wish this pain on someone who didn't deserve it. Never. I managed to get myself together, through sheer force, enough to drive home. I stumbled up the stairs to my room, slamming my door and collapsing, exhausted onto my bed.

My clothes were rumpled and damp with my torrents of tears. I loved him. I _love _him. I wanted him to know.

I wanted him to know just how much that mere rejection had cost me. Had cost us, though I'm sure he knew our friendship was moot. It had expired the second our lips touched. I felt so cheated, so stupid. I let my mind wander, the tears still streaming. I fell into an agonised slumber. I wish I had never been so determined, so hopeful.

I had told myself I was stupid to be hopeful. And yet, I had deluded myself into thinking it was what he wanted too.

But no.

My dreams started off dark and snarly, angry and anguished. What pained me more than the initial dreams—the fact I knew they wouldn't stop tonight, they were not exclusive, they would last me a long time.

_It was the same dream, I knew it. The dream from last week. Except it was different somehow. I was by the back of my house, just under the trees._

_ The sun had disappeared from the sky, leaving everything grey and dull. I was breathing heavily, trying to find my way through the dark. I need to find my way back, I needed to find my way to him. _Him._ I didn't have to search for long. I walked two steps forward, finding his face through the dimness. _

_"Edward!" I choked out. "Oh, Edward!" I cried again, stumbling toward him. He remained motionless. "Edward? Edward, I'm sorry! Please forgive me! You need to know!" He didn't say anything. A shadow cast over his features, his eyes a dark, coal black. His face was so alien, so different. I did a double take. _

_"Who _are _you?" I whispered. He looked at me then, his expression betraying nothing, no emotion. Just blankness. I could scream and he wouldn't flinch. "You're not Edward. This isn't him. I know him, and you are not him!" I accused, taking a step back. His eyes flickered, his irises changing to a bright ochre. _

_I staggered over, collapsing into him with relief and recognition. "Edward!" I whimpered into his chest. His hand moved over my hair, smoothing it down. The twig snapped, on cue. I gasped, even though I knew it was coming eventually. It was Jacob. He was huge. He stared at me in Edward's arms. _

_"Edward!" I hissed, trembling. "I can't let him win this." I told him. "_We_ can't let him win this." He corrected. I took a step forward, grabbing a thick branch off the ground, it was amazingly light. I carried it with both hands. "Leave us alone." I ordered, pointing off to the side of the house. "Go away." He growled menacingly. I squared my shoulders and glared. _

_"I am not afraid of you." I whispered. His growling cut off. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Edward moving to the far corner of the yard, coming in line with me. Jacob's eyes flickered to Edward and back to me. "I told you not to tell." He said in a feral snarl. _

_"You can't tell me what to do. I am not yours." I retorted. The standoff was growing eerily silent, apart from the faint rustling of trees above us. The moonlight was now beating down on us, leeching the colour out of everything. Jacob was now black and grey. He snarled, bearing his teeth as his body shifted and moulded into a contorted formation. _

_In a matter of seconds, he transformed from man to wolf. From human to monster. I gasped, but held my footing, ironically. Usually, I wouldn't be able to in such a tense situation. I grasped the tree branch with both my hands, angling it to my side like a baseball bat. The wolf snarled and took a quick step forward, I staggered back, dropping the branch. _

_"Oh, no." I whispered shakily. I bent to retrieve it, a loud bark interrupting me, making me cringe. I could see Edward moving slightly forward. The dog in front of me was coiling, bending on his hind legs as he prepared to pounce, his teeth in stark contrast to his dark fur, his growling didn't hinder. His tail swished, his paws pushing him off the ground. _

_I held my breath, only to be knocked out of the way. "Edward!" I screamed. The enormous wolf pounded into Edward like a brick wall. _

_I was losing him all over again. Dark, guttural snarls ripped between them, Edward roars were cut short. A sickly snapping, Edward cried out. "No!" I screeched, running to them, but my feet couldn't carry me fast enough. "Stop!" I wailed at the top of my lungs. I fell to my knees. _

_The two figures had shimmered and dissolved into thin air. I had lost him _again.

_"No," I whispered._

There were ominous scratching noises at my window. I gasped, shaking and crying from the nightmare. It was pitch black outside.

There was barely any light, besides my alarm clock glowing off my nightstand. The torrential rain beat down hard on the roof, it was almost deafening. I didn't know how Charlie could sleep through it. I sat up and kicked my shoes off, they landed with a thud on the floor boards.

I collapsed back onto the bed with a sigh, wiping at my eyes, still sniffing. There was another screech and a low hiss. I sat bolt upright, my thoughts seeking out where I had left my pepper spray. There was a thud, the glass vibrated. I fell out of bed, thumping against the floor, grabbing my thick Spanish text book and creeping over to the window.

I planted my feet, steadying myself, then reached over to open it. The rain blew in, spraying across my face, then the wind was blocked by something. I gasped and pulled the book back, readying to swish it around and clock my intruder in the face before I screamed for Charlie. I swung, but hit the wall, the assailant ducked out of the way.

"Bella!" I stumbled back, dropping the book, it landed on my toe. I sucked in a breath. "Argh!" I grumbled in a whisper, hopping around.

"What are you _doing here?_" I asked helplessly, upset and scared. "Bella," he whispered, sighing.

His hand brushed my cheek, I slapped it away. "What the hell are you doing?" I whispered, incredulous. He glared over my shoulder.

"What the hell am I doing?" He repeated. "Being selfish. Being stupid. Doing all the wrong things." He answered. "Please, don't do this."I begged, I couldn't bear him end our friendship like this. Not after the dream I had just had. Losing him three times in one day, it just made me want to curl up and die. That would be less painful.

"Please don't do this to me," I mumbled through tears. "Do what?" he asked in a pained voice. How could he be in pain? I guess watching such an embarrassing display would be painful—painfully embarrassing. I tried to breathe evenly through my silent sobs. "Just—just don't do _this!_" I motioned to him and me with my hand. He caught it with his.

"What _is_ this?" he asked, growing frustrated and even more confused. I shook my head, my mouth opening but no words came out.

"I'll tell you what it is," he whispered huskily, his voice low and rough—a vast difference to his usually velvety tone. He stared deep into my eyes and I couldn't pull away.

The intensity was further from what I felt at his house. He stood so close. He was drenched with water. His clothes were dripping all over my floor.

"This," he held my hand and pressed it to his chest, just over his heart. His skin was freezing, I stared at his hand over mine, I couldn't stop my heart from beating erratically or my breath from catching in my throat at his touch. "Bella, I. Need. You." He said, leaning closer.

"I need you, to breathe. You are who I live for everyday." He said, eyes boring into mine. I felt like I might burst into flames.

"I love you, Bella."

**Tis a long chapter, yeah. I am proud. :) Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I liked writing it. Please R&R. Thanks for reviews and favs. **

***pulls cake out of oven and hands you a slice* You guys are the banana to my split.......wait--that doesn't sound too appropriate. **

**You guys are....the Edward to my Bella! Fuck, there we go. Perfectemundo.**


	19. Fuckingbookbags Property of Bella Swan

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, and the quote out of _Wuthering Heights,_ is obviously Emily Bronte's. I would never claim her work as my own. I don't know shit about old english.**

**Oh, and any song ideas or suggestions that you think fit well with the story, just leave me a review. With this one, I like "Wherever you will go-The Calling" The words sortof go with the lines, but I mostly just suggest songs, coz thats what im listening to when I write it or because the melody suits the mood. :) Enjoy!**

She stared, looking dazed and confused and most of all, hurt.

I gulped, reminding myself to go jump off a bridge. I had put that look on her face, the look of sheer devastation when I asked her to leave.

It was agony to watch. I had called out her name as she ran off, through the house and out the front door.

_What have you done?_! I had screamed at myself. I thought I had been giving Bella up, giving her up for her own good, knowing that she would only feel a little angry—but not hurt, not agonised. I had fallen to my knees, weak and pathetic, instead of running after her.

I _did_ tell her to leave didn't I? I silently cursed myself, saying every bad word I knew, placing my name in the middle of them. I should write them all down to give to Bella, so she could verbally bash me, too. But, she wouldn't want to talk to me now. Not after I was so blatantly cold to her. I had finally done it, I had gotten rid of her, she left, without hesitation. I felt like she had taken part of me with her. I felt a hole in my chest, the place where she filled.

I fisted my hands into the lawn, pulling up clumps of grass and dirt. I threw them aside.

"Argh!" I growled. "You—What—Fuck!" I stuttered, frustrated.

I clawed at my face. "You idiot!" I scowled incredulously, my voice raising an octave.

I stood up, not bothering to wipe the dirt and grass off my clothes. I stumbled into the house, probably leaving dirty footprints.

I shrugged my jacket off and threw it, not knowing where it landed. I paced, not knowing what to do. I was so angry! How could I do that to her?

I was supposed to be her friend, I had forced her into that kiss. It was the shock that kept her from pulling away.

Once I had realised what the fuck I was doing, I was sickly reminded of how _Jacob_ had forced her. Forced her into doing things. I would sooner die than be _that_ man. Especially toward Bella. I stopped by the mirror and glowered at myself. "Well done. You stupid fuck." I muttered to my reflection.

I shook my head and leaned back against the wall it was mounted on. I saw the piano out of the corner of my eye. Grudgingly, I stalked over to it and slumped down on the bench. I had been playing with the idea of writing a song for Bella. But then how would that look? Friends didn't exactly write songs for each other, and if they did, they weren't complex pieces of memorised piano playing. My fingers ghosted over the keys, letting the notes flow out of my head and through my hands. The melody enveloped the entire room, echoing off the walls. I closed my eyes, keeping my fingers moving. I pictured Bella in my head. The music fit with her so perfectly.

It was inspired by her. The playful, smiling Bella in my imagination shifted. It shifted to the miserable, anguished Bella I had seen in my back yard.

I stopped and thumped my fist on the keys. A heavy, unpleasant and loud echo of out of tone notes resulted.

I flinched. I started again, I didn't know why, but it was helping me. It was as if I could almost forget what had happened this afternoon.

_Almost._ But it would take a lot more than music to make me forget that kiss. I had taken her face in my hands, our lips meeting for a brief few seconds, although it felt like much longer. She was in my arms, she was _mine._ No, she wasn't. She wasn't mine, nor should she be. But that didn't stop me from wanting her to be, for needing her to be. Carlisle interrupted my silent pining as the front door clicked closed. My playing came to a halt, the room fell into silence.

"Edward?" he called, rounding the corner, his face brightened up. "You're playing?" He asked, disbelieving.

I nodded solemnly. Then he noticed the look on my face. "What's troubling you?" he asked softly, fatherly.

I wanted to kick myself again. I didn't deserve Carlisle as a father—foster parent, whatever. He gave me everything. I shouldn't have everything. I shouldn't have anything. But, then again, I had everything, and I threw it away like yesterdays trash. Or had I even had it?

Bella certainly didn't see me that way, so in fact, I didn't have it. But just the feeling, of having her in my life. Period.

Was better than now. Far better. It was everything. I shook my head. "Just petty teenage dramas, Carlisle." I smiled sheepishly.

My teenage drama wasn't petty though, but I didn't expect Carlisle to understand the real love I felt for Bella. Teenagers couldn't fall in love, apparently.

He smiled. "Girl problems?" he asked. I shrugged. "Well, I don't expect you would want me to give you advice...but here it is." He started. I almost laughed.

"This girl, if she's been the one behind you acting so different this past week..." He shook his head.

"You just make sure you don't ruin it." He advised. Too late, I was about to muter. "Because," he went on.

"I've never seen you so...alive. When you got here, you were empty. Whoever it was, whatever she's been doing to make you _that happy?_ You better hope you don't lose it. Believe me, you'll regret it your whole life. If you don't make amends now..." he trailed off, letting his sentence hand in the air between us.

I was speechless. Carlisle was so caring and passionate, and so insightful. He knew his stuff, yet another reason why he was too good for me. I smiled, he smiled back, walking past me and giving me a sympathetic pat on the shoulder. I glared out the windows, it was raining. I mustn't have been able to tell with all my playing. It was also dark, and I was hungry. What time was it? I stood up and slowly paced around, tripping over my book bag. I grunted then bent to retrieve it.

I scowled as its contents fell out and scattered across the wooden floor boards.

"Fucking book bags," I sighed and got down on my knees, gathering my books onto my lap.

I encountered my copy of _Wuthering Heights_. I touched the cover and gently placed it on top. Then as I was about to stand, another copy of the same book caught my eye, just under the coffee table near the stairs. Huh? Since when did I have two? It was old, fragile. I lifted the hard cover.

_Property of Bella Swan._ I sucked in a breath and opened it to where she had it dog eared.

"_That, however, which you may suppose the most potent to arrest my imagination, is actually the least, for what is not connected with her to me? and what does not recall her? I cannot look down to this floor, but her features are shaped on the flags! In every cloud, in every tree—filling the air at night, and caught by glimpses in every object by day, I am surrounded with her image! The most ordinary faces of men and women—my own features—mock me with a resemblance. The entire world is a dreadful collection of memoranda that she did exist, and that I have lost her!"_

I stared at the words printed there. Heathcliffe's words.

It mocked me with the similarities to my own life. I was stupid, selfish, like Heathcliffe, and her face—Bella's face is the only one I will see for the rest of my life.

I will have known her, known she was with me, known she existed and known that I had lost her. I slammed the book on the floor and stood up, planning on how I would set this straight. I ran outside, yelling. "Carlisle, I'm going out!" I called. "Okay! Just be careful!" He shouted out of his office window. I set off, only just remembering I had no car.

"Fuck! Shit!" I swore, standing on the porch. "Fuck it!" I muttered, jumping off the porch and into the sheeting, heavy rain. I had only my shirt on, no jacket.

And it was freezing, I'll admit. I wasn't bulletproof. But I ran. I ran, my legs not growing tired at all, I remained determined. I needed to see her, and now. I picked up the pace, racing down along the side of the highway. Dangerous, yes. But did I care? Nope.

I had made it to the outskirts of Forks. It was only about another mile to Bella's house.

The winding streets were hard to work with in the dark. I found the connecting street to Bella's house.

It was like the home stretch. "Finally!" I croaked, breathless. I found her house.

She had informed me of her address. We were planning on doing our English together one day after school. She joked about how her father put a baseball bat in her bedroom in case someone climbed into her window at night. Thats how I knew which one was hers.

I cringed at the thought of a baseball bat to the face, but instead of being a pussy, I scaled the side of her house, using a tree as leverage. I reached the top branch, it was sturdy enough. My heart was beating so loudly, through the exhaustion and the thought of being outside Bella's room.

What if she never forgave me? What if I had to live like this forever? I swallowed the fear, then tried to lean over to the window sill.

My hand banged on the glass, vibrating the frame. "Shit," I hissed. I managed to pry it open, heaving myself through the small opening, my shoulders almost got stuck. I heard a loud thump that wasn't me, the next thing I know, a large square text book was flying toward my face.

Well, thats a step up from the baseball bat. I ducked, just in time mind you. I sucked in a breath, the giant brick of a book slammed against the wall where my head had been. "Bella!" I whispered, she dropped the book immediately—onto her toe.

"Argh!" She growled, hopping on one leg. It should have been amusing, but I was more concerned. "What are you _doing_ here?" she demanded, out of breath, her voice shaky.

"Bella," I sighed, brushing her cheek with the back of my hand, I couldn't help it, her skin was blushed. She swatted my hand away, obviously pissed. I would be too.

"What the hell are you doing?" she hissed, shocked.

She wouldn't let me touch her now. The one male she trusted enough to let him touch her, had ruined her, all over again.

I glared at the wall behind her. "What the hell am I doing?" I repeated. "Being selfish. Being stupid. Doing all the wrong things." I admitted, truthfully.

I was doing the wrong thing by being so selfish and coming here. But it was also so right. "Please don't do this," she begged. My eyes widened. Do what? I stared, confused.

"Please don't do this to me." She mumbled, tears coursing down her face. "Do what?" I asked, puzzled. My voice was pained, begging her to tell me what to do, what she wanted so I could give it to her. "Just—just don't do _this!" _she whispered, agonised and pleading. She was motioning with her hand to me and to her. I caught her hand with mine.

Do _what?! _I knew she didn't want me, but she couldn't know how much I was in love with her, nobody could. Yet, she did see through me. I was so scared she would hate me and tell me to leave. But if she asked, I would oblige. Because I had to give her it, give her everything she wanted. She deserved it. "I'll tell you what it is." I continued.

"This," I told her, placing her hand on my chest, just over my heart. My shirt was soaked through, it was sticking to my skin, I was dripping wet, but I didn't care.

My mind was in a whirlwind. Her breathing hitched, her eyes glassy. If I didn't tell her, I would go insane.

I would be reminded of her every single day for the rest of my life, knowing I had lost her...so I told the truth. "Bella, I. Need. You." I stated simply, emphasising each word. My heart beat jumped, waiting for some sort of reaction. She stayed motionless. So I leaned closer to her. I could smell her, she always smelled like strawberries. I could feel the warmth of her body, so close to me. "I need you, to breathe. You are who I live for everyday." I admitted, my veins about to burst with the electricity surging through them.

"I love you." I said, my voice strong and clear.

***

We stood there, motionless. We stared, not saying a word. Our breathing had slowed, her hand was still on my heart.

She seemed to let out a breath she was holding for a while. She glanced down to her fingers splayed across my chest under my pale hand.

She frowned, her mouth turning down, her lip trembling. I took the necessary step forward to be closer to her. Her hand slipped out from under mine, feeling like she had reached into my chest than ripped it out. She stared at her hand. I watched her, wondering what was going to happen next.

She looked up at me then, gazing intensely. My heart stopped for a second. Was this goodbye? Was this when I had to let go?

"You're lying." She accused softly. I went wild.

"Lying?" I said through my teeth. "Lying?" I said, hardly any volume to my incredulous voice.

I fell to my knees and took her hands, practically begging, but I didn't care. I would beg, I would beg till my knees bled.

"You!" I said. "You _are_ my life now."

She let out a little whimper, dropping to her knees too.

"Please don't say those things if you don't mean them. I can't lose you. I can't lose this. I'd suffocate, I won't be able to breathe." She stressed. I shook my head, not leaving her eyes. I raised my hands to her face and felt relieved. She closed her eyes, fresh tears streaming. "I've never been so sure in my life. I've never been as sure about anything as I am about you." She smiled through her tears, opening her eyes, her hands were on my arms.

"Life makes no sense," she sniffed. "Life has been cruel, I've been broken. You saved me." She whispered, pained.

"It makes sense now." She was staring out the window, her eyes met my anxious ones.

"I love you, too." She admitted, not blushing, but determined. I stared wide-eyed. There was a cosmic shift. The Earth's rotations came to a halt.

She loved me. Nobody could take this away from me. I closed the distance between us, needing more of her. Needing her more than oxygen.

Our lips met. I felt her hands wrap around my neck, her fingers combing through my hair. I thought maybe this could be a dream. Nothing this good could come to me?

Right?

Maybe I was already dealt my punishment. I had been moments from destruction, Bella's finger on the red button. One small push and that was it, utter cataclysmic obliteration. I would never be the same. Our lips were moving frantically.

She leaned closer to me, my hands moved to her waist, pulling her to me. Her tears were splashing on my face. Her lips were so soft and warm, her clothes were getting wet because of me. I had trailed wet, muddy footprints on her floor. Our lips finally broke apart, and we just stared at each other.

She looked at me like she had won the freaking lottery. She didn't know just how lucky _I_ was. It wasn't everyday you got to share a kiss with an angel.

She put her head on my shoulder and kissed my neck gently. I sighed in content. I could sit here forever, I mused, to myself. After a while, it must have been over half an hour that we sat there, Bella hesitantly stood up, pulling me up with her. I glanced over my shoulder, dreading the thought of leaving.

"What is it?" she asked, putting a hand to my face. I held it there with my hand. "I'm terrified of jumping out that window and never seeing you again." I sighed.

"Then, don't go." She said simply, like the idea was completely obvious.

I didn't say anything as she pulled me to the bed. I kicked my shoes off then my shirt. She paused, then averted her eyes. I tip-toed over to the other side of the bed. She was kneeling, the covers pushed back. She grabbed my hand again and I lay down next to her. She leant forward and retrieved the blankets, pulling them over us.

I turned my body in her direction. She turned her head and stared. She closed her eyes.

I couldn't fall asleep, I watched her—Bella sleep. It was fascinating. I lay on my back and tried to imagine how I got here.

I smiled to myself. Bella stirred then, rolling over, her right arm hugging my torso, her face on my chest. I held my breath, then relaxed, draping my arm over her shoulders. I drifted off peacefully, the first peaceful night of sleep I had had in months.

My Bella and I.

:O:O:O:O:O **OMG. Hehehe. Dude, don't you just love Carlisle? And don't you just love Edward? And his revelations? Broken, jealous, oblivious Edward is so hot right now.**

**Thanks for Review guys. Very encouraging feedback. THIS IS MY LONGEST CHAPTER SO FAR! 3,000 words. and i've gotten like over a thousand hits on this story. So anyways, you guys (my readers) complete me.**


	20. Apples and Lucky Charms BPOV

**Check it, check it! Almost 4,000 words! Jesus Christ Monkey Balls! Biggest chapter ever! Keep a look out for all the Twilight references in this chapter. I loved writing them, working them in somehow. To the reviewer who was asking if Edward took his shirt off because it was wet or because he's sexy. The answer? Both, baby. Both. *drools over Edward* LOL. Anywho *folds away poster and places under bed* Um, anyway, thanks for reviews once again. Please, tell me what you think of this chapter. **

Heat. I had grown used to the constant chill in Forks.

But, right now, all I could feel was heat, warmth..._deliciousness. _I _was_ underneath all my blankets, but it felt like I had a radiator hidden somewhere between the sheets.

My arm was wrapped around something..._someone!_ It took me a moment to remember the happenings of last night, a soaking wet Edward climbing through my window to confess his love to me. You know, same old. He had also spent the night. It wasn't like _that_, though.

Edward knew that, and I also knew that he would never push me. Last night was pure comfort and need. I didn't want him to leave, he felt even less inclined to do so. In a hastily made decision, I told him he didn't have to go. So, he didn't. He kicked off his shoes—and his shirt!—then climbed into bed.

He smelled the way he always did—like Edward. It was an intoxicating aroma, better than any cologne. His arm held me tight against him, my head resting on his bare chest. I could scream. Which was what I was about to do when Charlie knocked on my door. My eyes flew open. "Bells?" he called.

Edward tensed, his arm tightened reflexively then disappeared. I made a snap decision—better not to let Edward be seen in my bed, especially when the owner of the house has a revolver. So, I pushed him, and he rolled off the bed, making a thud on the floor next to the bed, on the opposite side.

To mask this as my own clumsiness, I pushed myself out of bed, tangling my legs up in blankets and kneeling on the floor. "Uh," Charlie opened the door warily. "Did you fall out of bed, hon?" he asked, trying to keep his smile a look of concern. I nodded. "Yeah," I croaked. Charlie frowned, taking in my form.

"I didn't want to wake you last night, you seemed so exhausted. I guess you didn't get a shower." He commented. I grimaced, thanks Dad. "It's my day off, so we'll be out on the boat." My eyebrows rose. Out on the boat? He hadn't been out since Billy died. This caught me by surprise. I had expected he would spend his day off like every other day off he had—at home, with the T.V. "You're...going fishing?" I inquired cautiously. He nodded. "It's pretty early, I just wanted to let you know before you went to school."

I nodded. "Sure," Then I realised something. "Wait, hang on, Dad." He paused before closing the door. "You said, 'We'll be out on the boat.' Who are you going with? Harry?" I would have thought Harry was too ill to go out. Maybe he had gotten better? He had been weak for weeks after his heart scare. I

felt a strong pang of sympathy for the Clearwaters. Charlie shook his head, frowning at me like the answer was obvious. "No, actually. Jacob's coming with me," My heart sank, and for a brief second I thought I could hear Edward growl.

"He's taking a few days off school. Needs some R and R. You know," He sighed.

"Poor kid. How do you get on without your old man. And Jake's such a good guy, too." I grimaced, fighting the urge to puke at the mention of his name. I could feel the tremors already starting in my body. "Whatever happened to you guys, Bells? You used to be the best of friends. And all of a sudden, poof! It's almost as if you flicked a switch from love to hate." I gave Charlie and eye roll—very nonchalant. I let out a shaky breath and answered in a small voice.

"Things change, Dad." I shrugged. He shook his head and rubbed his eyes.

"Well, he said he's been wanting to meet up with you." I froze, icy splinters of fear lodging themselves in my stomach. "Oh," was all I managed to say. "Well, have fun at school, honey. I'll see you later, bring back some fish for dinner." He added through the closed door. I managed to back up till my knees hit the edge of the bed. I sat down, breathing rapidly.

Edward materialised in front of me. I could see the menacing look of rage plain in his features. He sat down beside me, and pulled me onto his lap. He brushed the hair from my face and kissed my forehead. "He won't stop," I whispered. I could feel Edward's arms tighten around me before he whispered back threateningly,

"I'll make him."

***

Thanks to Charlie's unexpected wake-up call, I was wide awake and could drive Edward home so he could get his books and change clothes.

However, the mood wasn't the same as it was when I opened my eyes. The mention of his name had put my nerves on edge. I was jumpy and agitated all morning. I threw Edward's shirt to him, grabbing my bathroom bag and some fresh clothes. I was feeling incredibly self-conscious, I was anxious to get clean and brush my teeth.

I blushed the entire time Edward put his shirt back on. He smiled crookedly at my bashfulness. After my small episode after Charlie left, he was in an entirely different mood too. But he was trying to let it go—for me. I had a quick shower, brushed my teeth and hair meticulously and dragged Edward downstairs for some breakfast before I took him home.

He stopped in the middle of the kitchen, assessing his surroundings. My kitchen seemed like such a dump in comparison to what he was used to—hell the whole house was a piece of crap, in comparison. But instead of smirking, he smiled fondly. I had no idea why, but I just shook it off, if he wanted to tell me he was free to. I turned to the fridge, hunting up some milk for cereal. "Hey, let me do that." He said, pushing me gently out of the way. I blushed.

"It's okay, you don't have to..." I trailed off; he shook his head and grinned.

I sighed and sat down at the table, waiting to see how he would find food here. He scanned through the cupboard and found what he was looking for—Lucky Charms. I smiled as he handed me a bowl. I poured some for myself and handed him the box.

He leaned over the circular table and planted a kiss on my lips. I giggled against his skin. He sat down then and dug in to his cereal. I followed suit, shovelling down the marshmallow pieces until the bowl was empty.

I stood up, grabbed my jacket and backpack and keys.

Edward was right behind me, following me out the door. It felt so casual, so normal, like we did this every morning. I wanted to giggle and jump up and down. But I knew that because of my enormous good luck last night, there was bound to be a hideous turn in events sooner or later.

Things wouldn't stay the same for long. I would have another obstacle, but this time, I had Edward to leap over it with. That thought had me fleeting. I made it to Edward's house with twenty minutes to spare until school started. I pushed Edward out the door, he grinned back at me and dashed into the house. He appeared five minutes later, fresh clothes, looking as godly as ever. We rode in silence to school. It was comfortable, easy. We shared an apprehensive look as I turned the ignition off.

I took a deep breath and Edward grabbed my hand, giving it a gentle but firm squeeze before he opened his door. I couldn't move. What would people think? Then I mentally slapped myself for being so obtuse. What did it matter what people thought? It didn't. I told myself that as my door opened by itself.

Though, I remembered one small detail. There would be _hell_ to pay when Alice found out. He took my hand and pulled me out of the cab, while I was lost in my abstraction. Alice had been begging me for an explanation to my moods, and I had told her I wasn't ready to tell.

What would she think when she saw me with Edward? I was such a crappy friend. I sighed, my thoughts landing back on earth, back to reality, back to Edward. We were standing in front of my truck, facing the rest of the school. I could feel the weight of their stares on us, like ray guns, sizzling against my skin. It was incredibly uncomfortable. One foot in front of the other, thats all it would take. I glanced up at Edward, an apologetic look on his face.

"Just pretend...that you're in..." he trailed off, considering. Then he smiled.

"Phoenix. Pretend you're in Phoenix. Forget them." I grinned and nodded, finding it easier to ignore the people staring at us, speaking in hushed whispers as we stepped past them and into the hallways. A small memory from yesterday popped in my head suddenly.

It occurred to me that Edward's car was no longer in the lot, vandalised and mutilated.

"What happened to your car?" I inquired, staring up at Edward. He sighed and stopped suddenly, we were at his locker.

"I told Carlisle this morning. He was fine about it, of course," Edward rolled his eyes and shook his head, disbelieving.

"And he must have gotten it towed before we got here. He has connections, and he works quick." He chuckled at that last part. "His girlfriend, Esme's, brother works for the local auto service. He probably rang him." He shrugged.

"I'm sorry, again. You're poor car," I murmured, shaking my head forlornly.

"It was a great car." I added. He grimaced. "It was." We both sighed then chuckled at each other.

***

I had been safe through all four morning periods. Edward reassured me in third when we had English. I seriously couldn't remember what I had been worried about.

My anxiety was stupid. There was no reason for me to feel so..._nervous._ Now that I thought about it, I wanted to be seen with Edward. I wanted everyone to know that he was mine and that I was his, and then, after that, they could get back to their hopeless mundane lives.

This was so simple. But then again, I had foreseen another obstacle. An obstacle in the form of Mike Newton. An apple, big and red—lethal when thrown hard enough—flew toward us with frightening accuracy.

It was meant to be for Edward, I guessed, seeing the apple on Mike's tray before hand, yet it was coming straight for my face. I gasped, cringing. Edward's hand flew out, snatching the apple out of the air before it pummelled a fresh purple bruise on my eye.

Praise, Edward, the dear. I smiled mercifully up at him. His hand lowered, setting the apple on the table with a gentle thud. "Edward," I warned, he was scanning the lunch room. I saw his eyes tighten when he found the culprit. "Edward, don't." I said, more sternly. He turned to look at me, frustrated.

Once his eyes met mine, they softened. He sighed and closed his eyes, forgetting Mike...for the moment at least.

We sat there for the rest of lunch, listening to Edward's IPod. When the tune of a familiar classic sounded in my ear, my eyes widened in surprise.

"Claire De Lune?" I squeaked. His eyebrows shot up. "You like Claire De Lune?" I asked. He nodded. "Yeah. Debussy, it's one of my favourites." He smiled crookedly. I laughed. "Huh," I said, feeling all warm inside. Nobody I knew had even heard of Claire De Lune, much less love her music. I smiled fleetingly, leaning on his side as the rest of the song flowed out in a soft melody. I noticed Edward's fingers strumming against the table like he was playing the piano. It looked as if he knew what he was doing too.

I would ask him about that later. The bell rang and I suppressed a groan. Edward took my hand, helping me up from my seat, even though it was unnecessary. But after I thought about it, I _was _a klutz, wasn't I? I took it as an advantage now, extra reasons why he had to touch me, hold my hand.

I smiled and handed him back his IPod that I had commandeered.

"I must admit, you have good taste." I nodded approvingly. He grinned and bent down to kiss me lightly on the lips.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a small dark figure prance towards us. I suppressed another groan. "I'll see you in art, okay?" I told Edward. He nodded and took off through the glass doors, leaving me to face the wrath that is Alice Brandon. I sighed as she finally came to a halt, nose to nose with me. "Care to explain?" she ordered, her voice sharp. It was difficult to imagine any harm this girl could inflict, but she was frightening.

"You know what you saw." I shrugged, trying to keep my tone as casual as possible. She glared, her mouth popping open, she shifted her stance, placing her hands on her hips. "Bella," she began sternly. "Where have you been?" she asked, her tone of voice changing abruptly to hurt. "What do you mean? I've been here," I motioned all around me, indicating school. Where else? "I know that," she muttered, exasperated.

She leaned closer, I could smell her floral perfume.

"I mean, where have you _been?_ You're here, but your mind is elsewhere. You've hardly even spoken to me." She said, her voice cracking. I crumbled.

"Damnit, Alice. I'm so sorry." I apologised. She shook her head, a tear forming in her eye. "You didn't even tell me you had a boyfriend, and that it was _Edward Cullen!_" she hissed. "We're supposed to be best friends, okay? You have to tell me these things!" she scolded, hopping to my side to wrap her tiny arm around my waist. She rested her head on my shoulder. "I'm sorry, Alice. Okay? I truly am. I'll answer anything you want to know."

I granted her as much liberty as I could manage.

She backed away from me, her face bright and excited. "Come on, walk and talk." I ordered.

She flitted along by my side. "So...?" she started. I began, sighing in resignation, there was no reigning Alice in, especially when she wanted something. "Yes, I have a boyfriend. Yes, he is Edward Cullen." Alice made a squeaking noise. I looked over at her, she had her hand over her mouth.

"Oh my god, Bella! I'm so happy for you!" she pranced around the halls until we made it to my locker. The halls were practically empty, no doubt I would get a detention for being late. Alice didn't care, she clapped her hands in excitement. "How long has this been going on?" I shrugged. "It's only really just started." I murmured, pulling my calculus book out.

"Vague answers are not getting you off the hook." she warned. I rolled my eyes. "Now, what's he like? Can me and Jasper sit with you guys?"

I grimaced. "Um, I don't know. I guess." I said, in answer to her lunch date suggestion.

"And he's really great." I grinned to myself. "He's just..." I trailed off, sighing. I noticed I sounded like a love-sick teen that kissed posters of movie stars, but I didn't care. I had the real life version. Alice cleared her throat then, just as we approached my class room.

"So, are you ready yet?" she asked softly, meeting my eyes with a worried gaze. My eyes dropped to the floor. I hated being this way. Alice deserved to know the truth about me. And, I'm sure, that like Edward, she would still think of me the same way, still love me.

But I couldn't bring myself to say the words, not here, not when I felt so vulnerable. I bit my lip.

"After school, Alice." I said. "Come over to my house," I took a deep, cleansing breath. "And, I will tell you." She nodded, smiling warmly.

She skipped to me then and gave me a light peck on the cheek, like an enchanted little pixie.

I shook my head as I entered my Math torture group session—in other words, Calculus. I sat down in my normal seat in Art, Edward sat next to me. I noticed that his painting had drastically altered, the week before last, it was sort of taking shape into an abstract face, then one day, he decided to change it. Splashing wild colours over the top. I would have objected had it been my place to do so. But I let him do what he wanted, it was his work, not mine.

I continued with my own painting and we silently waited out the hour till school ended. "Oh," I huffed.

"I have a detention for being late to Calculus," stupid teachers. "Are you going to wait for me at the truck?" He nodded, smiling crookedly.

"Don't take too long." He called over his shoulder. I smiled to myself, blushing, then trudged off to purgatory. I slumped down in an empty desk at the front of the room, retrieving my notebook and started doodling on it. The teacher didn't look up once. I drew pictures of eyes...green ones.

I almost punched myself for even considering writing Edward's name. That would look incredibly embarrassing, not to mention, stalker-ish. The teacher finally let me go, telling me that he expected more of me, and not to let it happen again. I muttered out a faint goodbye and left the room.

I flew around the corners to my locker, anxious to be at Edward's side once more. I opened the doors, searching around the empty parking lot. Well, it wasn't entirely empty, there were two cars still there. My truck...and _MIKE'S CAR! _"Crap!" I hissed, sprinting down the grassy hill toward the cars. I couldn't see Edward.

I stopped just as I reached the stairs leading down, when I heard a scuffle. "Oh, fuck," I ran toward it, using my hearing to guide me. I still couldn't see them.

"Stop it!" I shouted once I found them. Edward had Mike pinned up against the wall of the cafeteria. "Both of you, get a _fucking_ grip!" I hissed.

Edward loosened his grip on Mike's collar, now blood spattered.

His nose was bleeding. Edward had a small pink mark on his right cheek bone.

My mouth hung open. He stared at me, his eyes ashamed, but still holding a fire of fury at Mike. He must have seen this distraction as his chance. Mike sprung, launching himself at Edward. His fist flew to his face, missing. I stepped forward frantically and got a bone-crushing elbow to the stomach.

I fell back. I heard a growl, then stood up, holding my side.

Edward was now standing over me protectively. Mike spat blood out of his mouth then muttered, "You fuck."

I shook my head. He wiped at his face with his sleeve then turned to leave.

I ran forward then, kicking him between the legs while his back was turned. A high pitched squeal escaped his lips, he dropped to his knees.

I was never a violent person. But this—this felt _awesome._

I turned on my heel and darted back to Edward, not looking into his face, grabbing my discarded book bag, grabbing his hand and towing him to my truck. The ride was silent, I drove him to his house, stopping at his front door almost. I finally turned to him, taking a deep breath and letting myself examine his face.

I bit my lip and frowned. Mike got the worst of it, definitely. Edward merely had that small pink bruise and a bit of a cut on his lip. It made me feel sick to know that it was kind of hot. I trumped those disturbing thoughts and went back to sympathy. This emotion was normal. I reached my hand to his face, turning his chin to see his cheek better.

I shook my head. "How the hell did it all start?" I demanded. Edward's eyes were darker today. A darker jade green.

"It doesn't matter," he said, avoiding my eyes. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Just tell me, Edward. Or I could go talk to Mike." I said, he glared at the dash then sighed. "He said you were his," I snorted, thinking that was it, but it wasn't. "He said he slept with you." I gulped, my eyes growing wide. My stomach churned. Edward sighed, closing his eyes before saying the last part.

"All the time. That you begged for it...that..you liked...it rough," his voice was hard, his eyes glaring, his hands were clenched, his jaw tight. He had trouble finishing that sentence. "And I...lost it." He admitted, taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. He looked into my eyes then, they were blurry with tears.

I sniffed, my hand shaking. I shook my head feircly. "Liar!" I hissed at the steering wheel. Edward leaned closer to me then, lifting my chin up with his fingers. He wiped the tears away with his finger tips. I stared at him. "I'll look after you." He promised, leaning forward closer to kiss me. I kissed him back.

On cue, my pulse sped up, as did my breathing when Edward was in such close proximity. I wrapped my arms around his neck, our lips parted, his breath flowed into my mouth. I was going insane. Our relationship was in it's early stages, yet I needed him so much, and it was easy to get carried away.

He smiled against my lips, stroking my hair away from my face with a gentle flutter of his hands. He kissed me once more, breaking away before we became indecent. I smiled sheepishly. "I'll see you tomorrow..." I said. He nodded. "I love you." He said. I grinned.

"I love you, too." He smiled that crooked smile that took my breath away, literally—seriously, I was still trying to catch my breath after that kiss. His expression became more serious then. "Does your side hurt?" his brow furrowed, worried. I shook my head, but it did hurt.

His eyes tightened, he knew I was lying. He gingerly lifted my shirt up to my bottom rib, and hissed. I bit my lip, pulling my shirt down trying to cover the pink mark there. "Tomorrow." I said finally. His fingers lingered on my waist, he leant down, kissing the tender spot.

The breath caught in my throat. It was such a sweet thing to do, so couple-y. I watched him walk up the stairs and drag his feet through the door.

I smiled down at my feet before starting the engine again. I sighed, the movement sort of hurt my side. I scowled then.

I unconditionally and irrevocably hated Mike fucking Newton.

**^ That was one of my most proudest moments. Working that line into it. Completely different context. Favourite line in this chapter. :D Did you notice the Twilight references? The Claire De Lune? The apple? That line just above here? The sleep over? Hot wasn't it? Hehe. Anyways. Thanks for reading. Love you guys. xoxo. R&R**

**Edward rocks my boat. ;)**


	21. Getting a Grip EPOV

**To dear, Twigaloo. Seriously? I love you! Thankyou so much for the reviews. I just wanted to give you a shout out. Oh and to, Meg. :) Yeah, you may be crazy and hyper, but so AM I :D *deranged eye twitch***

I spent the night _sleeping_ in Bella's bed.

I never shared a bed with anyone—obviously. I had never even thought about sharing a bed with anyone, never thought about having a girlfriend, never thought about falling in love. I was in love with Bella. If love could be defined as never wanting to be without her, always wanting her with me, always _wanting_ her, feeling insanely protective of her, feeling so blissfully happy when I had my arms around her.

Then, I was fucking head over heels. And, by some universal miracle, some fucking god granted me the luck to have Bella love me back. I was on top of the world...and just waiting for someone to push me off it.

I sighed in content as Bella's arm snaked around my waist, my arm holding her closer. The faint sunlight streamed through her window. I could feel it on my chest, my neck. And Bella sleeping on me was like a little heat lamp.

I had given up all hope of feeling happiness again. And now, as I lay here awake, my Bella right next to me, I was so fucking happy—There was a knock, at Bella's door.

She tensed, I could feel it in her body, pressed so tightly against my side. She muttered a curse. My eyes widened, and with good reason. Charlie Swan had a gun. My arm tensed then loosened. I pulled away from her, unsure of what to do. Turns out, Bella was already thinking along those lines, pushing me violently off the edge of the bed.

I cringed at the sound of the thump, but obliged, keeping on the floor, flat on my stomach. I faintly heard Charlie ask if she fell out of bed, I could hear the smile in his voice. I bit my fist to keep from laughing. They murmured a conversation about fishing.

I sighed quietly, patiently, it was like five in the morning, I had plenty of time. It wasn't until the name "Jacob." Was said, that I stiffened. I could hear Bella's uneven voice, her tone a little shaky, Charlie would probably construe it as grogginess.

I listened intently, apparently Charlie was taking Jacob fishing with him. I gritted my teeth, really trying to hold back from thumping my fists against the floor boards. That would not help the situation, but it would help my anger. I waited till the door closed, and I heard Charlie thump down the stairs at an even pace. Bella backed up to the bed, slumping down like she had just been punched in the stomach. I wanted to kill that fucker.

I sat down next to her sobbing form, her shoulders hunched inward, her face wet with tears. I pulled her onto my lap, soothing her with gentle strokes down her back and face, kissing her forehead lovingly. "He won't stop," she whispered, terrified.

I wanted to gather her up and run away, run somewhere. I would do anything so she wasn't in pain anymore.

_Anything,_ and it only made it more painful to know there was nothing I could do but be there. I wanted to do more. I squeezed her gently, afraid to let go. I was becoming so intense, any threat beared toward her and I would be utterly enraged, beating it back with bare fists if thats what it took.

"I'll make him," I whispered back, even I could detect the menace in my tone. I hoped it was enough to make her feel safe.

We had breakfast, all signs of fear and sadness faded from her features as I got her breakfast for her.

I playfully leaned over the table and kissed her on the lips. She giggled. I was doing a good job, I hoped. We jumped in her truck and sped off toward my house, I needed a change of clothes and my book bag for school. I also needed to explain to Carlisle why I didn't come home last night and why my car wasn't in the driveway.

I sighed deeply before walking into his study. Two minutes, this is all it would take. I held my breath. "Carlisle?" I said warily, he was sitting at his desk behind a big fat medical book. I didn't know why he bothered; he was already famous for his experience. Better to stay ahead, I guess. "Edward," he sighed, placing the book down.

"I must have woken you, sorry." I frowned. "Uh," "I fell asleep after you went for a walk," he shook his head at himself.

"I'm getting old," I just smiled half-heartedly. Poor, Carlisle, he trusted me so obliviously. "Carlisle, my car...it's, someone trashed it yesterday, at school." His brow furrowed and I thought for sure I was done for. "Oh, well that's no good. Don't worry, I'll take care of it." "Oh, no, you don't have—"

"Hush, Edward. It's already done." He smiled. I shook my head then. "Thanks," I said, disbelieving his unending graciousness. I would never get used to Carlisle. Which could be taken as either good or bad. I'd rather consider it good, the guy was kind of growing on me.

Could I be lucky enough to have Bella _and_ Carlisle? I shouldn't push my luck. "Oh, and, uh," he started as I was about to turn. "How was your walk, by the way?" I shrugged, unable to hide my grin. "It helped. I feel a lot better, thanks." He nodded and reached for the phone on his desk.

I turned on my heel and closed the door behind me to give him some privacy. I had already changed so I raced downstairs to get my book bag. Bella waited for me in the car, her feet propped up on the dash. I grinned, it was happening a lot lately. I was going to get wrinkles from doing so.

Oh, well. If that was the price for happiness.

***

Bella seemed nervous all day, jumping at small things, someone slamming their locker too hard, or talking too sharply.

I held her hand most of the time, glaring people down if they stared too long or smirked at us. They fidgeted and flinched, embarrassed to be caught staring or whispering about us. Lunch was by far a lot worse. Anger wise, I was ready to burst.

Me and Bella sat right next to each other, I was careful not to touch her in any way that may be uncomfortable. But she was partially better, less on edge by then. I had pulled my IPod out, before Bella snatched it from me, grinning conspiratorially.

I bit my lip. I had some weird taste in music, she might think it was retarded. Instead of being a sissy, I leant back on my chair and let her have it, shuffling through all my favourites, smiling, her eyes brightening at certain ones.

She even knew _Claire De Lune!_ What were the odds? I was so fucking lucky.

Everything was fine, she was content listening to my tunes while I absent-mindedly played with a lock of her hair. I could feel someone staring at me—or Bella, rather. I could feel it on my skin, I seemed to be more intuitive today. And, I also knew that it was not a polite stare—as polite as stares can get. It was seething and jealous. I knew who it would belong to without even looking, I could almost hear the hateful words in his head.

So, thats how I knew the apple was coming. The same owner of those thoughts threw it. It missed my head, only because I leaned out of the way quickly, then snatched it out of the air before it could hit Bella instead. I put it down on the table and glanced around the room for him. _Fucking Newton._

"Edward," Bella warned softly, just as my eyes landed on the piece of crap. "Edward, don't." She said, her voice a little louder, she was serious. I tore my eyes off of the side of his face to look at her, my frustration subsided. I sighed and went back to listening to music.

When Claire De Lune started playing, my fingers strummed against the lunch table out of habit, pressing the invisible keys rhythmically. I wanted to play for Bella, so badly. I would have to bring her over one day, so I could. Maybe even play her song, the one I made for her, and if she didn't like it, I could tell her it was some old classic I found in a book—fool proof plan. The bell rang then for class. I opened my eyes, not realising I had closed them and stood up, helping Bella to her feet, too. She handed me back my IPod with a small smile. "I must admit, you have good taste." She nodded, smiling wider. I grinned, relieved and excited to know she like the same music as me, no matter how trivial the fact.

It pleased me immensely. But I wouldn't say that. I bent down to kiss her, she had Calculus, I had Spanish—yawn. I practically knew it already anyway. I took an advanced class back in Vermont. Plus, my mother had taught me some. I tried to ignore the aching in my chest, and the intense feeling or guilt, remembering that I didn't deserve Bella.

"I'll see you in art, okay?" she said after I pulled back. I stuffed my IPod into my hoodie pocket, the earphones hanging out slightly.

I smiled once more before strolling through the glass doors that lead to the lockers. I found mine and opened it, getting my books. I hoped wouldn't call on me today, my head was clouded, filled with none other than—you guessed it, Bella. I sighed as I sat down in my usual seat, next to Ben Cheney. He didn't know me, but I knew about him. I could read him quite easily. It was easy to tell he was in love with Angela. Angela Weber, Bella's best friend.

Well, one of her best friends, apart from Alice Brandon. I had yet to really talk to her, and Angela, and Jessica and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett. But their company wasn't what I craved, so I wasn't that eager. But if it would please Bella, then so be it, I would act social for her.

Being introverted, it was difficult to find your place, even when I deserved friends, people would usually be-friend me on their own accord.

I didn't have the will to go and make friends. I would be able to tell if they liked me at least, or if they were a complete douche bag.

Because of this super sensitivity to people and their thoughts and feelings, kids my age thought I was a freak. Kids can be so cruel. But, I eventually made some acquaintances, that then turned into friends, real ones too, not the ones you fought with all the time. These people were worth my time, and yes, I considered my time precious, even if I was eight. I chuckled quietly at what a middle-aged kid I was. "Senor, Edward? Hay algo gracioso sobre mis metodos de ensenanza?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. I shook my head. "Sorry," I mumbled and dropped my head. She went on with the lesson, not letting my interruption annoy her.

She resented that my Spanish was probably better than hers. She managed to pick on me sometimes. It was a relief to get to art, finally. I felt like an idiot after painting over the picture of Bella. But that was before I knew she felt what she did now.

Otherwise, I probably wouldn't have splattered a crap load of different paints over the top to disguise my previous doings. Bella usually eyed my work curiously, probably wondering why I had screwed it up so bad. I just tried to pretend that it was intentional. However unintentional it was. It wasn't like I had done it on purpose, started a painting that closely resembled her, so I had to do something about it. If she had noticed, she probably would have freaked out.

I was about to walk down the hall to the exit when Bella spoke. "Oh, I have a detention for being late to Calculus." She stated, rolling her eyes. I smiled. "Are you going to wait for me at the truck?" she asked expectantly. I loved the way she smiled when I nodded. I started off walking again.

"Don't take too long!" I called over my shoulder as I walked through the school doors. It was pretty much empty.

In fact, deserted. Students fled as fast as they could after that bell rang. I didn't blame them, they would rather be at home, in their warm houses, watching T.V. That idea would have been appealing to me a while ago, but now it seemed lame.

I'd prefer to hang out with Bella. But she told me she had to talk to Alice after school, so she was going to drop me off at home. I agreed and started reluctantly planning what I would do instead. T.V seemed to be the only option.

I pondered about what good shows were on tonight as I strolled across the grass outside the cafeteria. "I miss my car," I sighed, talking to myself. I was almost to the stairs leading down to the parking lot when someone cleared their throat, I stiffened, surprisingly knowing exactly who it would be.

"What do you want?" I sneered, pulling my hands out of my pockets. Mike smirked and strutted up closer. I took a step back, not knowing how far my control could stretch.

His eyes narrowed and lightened suddenly, it looked like he had a bright idea.

"You know," he began. "Bella and I...we've, you know..." he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

"Right, which one of your dreams was that in, fuck face?" I growled. He raised an eyebrow then. "What dream? I'm talking about real life, man." I wanted to gag. He called me 'man' like he knew me, like we were friends. I would try not to use that word again, it was tainted. I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious. You want some advice on her, you only have to ask," he winked.

"I know how she works." He nodded. My fists clenched, my eyes tightening. I took a few steps forward, he didn't seem to notice. He was off on his own tangent, fantasising. I wanted to strangle him. "Oh, yeah?" I asked sarcastically. "Yep. She begged me for it. Liked it rough..." he sighed. I could murder him.

"I was her first, so I kind of like, have a claim, you know." My eyes bugged out. He thought he _owned her?!_ That fucking douche bag! "Oh, god," he sighed wistfully, reminiscing about fake memories. "She was a great bang. Loved to suck—" I lunged forward, my fist connecting with his nose, crunching sickeningly. "Bullshit!" I spat at him.

"Don't fucking talk about her like that!" He was bent over, hands on his knees, a trickle of blood coming from his nostril. I glared at him pitifully. His hand twisted back then, I didn't move out of the way in time, I caught the brunt of it against my lip. I could taste a tiny amount of blood but not much.

I threw another one at him, he dodged, so I used my other hand to punch his stomach. He weezed and swore.

He stepped forward then, punching me in the cheek. My head hardly moved against his weak throw.

I almost laughed. Almost, if I hadn't been so pissed off. As I dodged out of the way again, I caught him by the collar of his shirt, pushing him hard against the brick wall. "Stop it!" Bella's voice sounded from a few feet away, breathless.

I was still glaring at Mike, he scowled at me, unable to move under my grip. She had reached us then. "Both of you get a _fucking_ grip!" she hissed, careful not to raise her voice too much, probably so I wouldn't get in trouble. I reluctantly shoved away from the wall, letting go of Mike. He slid down slightly until he was in his feet, I hadn't realised I had actually picked him up off the ground. I looked down at Bella, feeling guilty. What did this look like to her?

Craziness? Probably. But love made knobs of us all. I wanted to tell her I was sorry. Then I realised she could have been reminded of her own horrific past, and I was just demonstrating it again, refreshing her memory. I should be put away. Out of the corner of my eye Mike lunged at me again.

I moved easily, he would have missed anyway. Bella stepped forward, her face anxious. Thats when Mike must have hit her, with his elbow.

She fell backwards with a huff. I growled, not knowing I could make such a feral noise and shoved Mike out of the way, punching him in the jaw. I stood over Bella, she had already stood up. What had I done? She had gotten hurt? I felt sick to my stomach.

I couldn't see Mike, but I heard him say something. Bella's eyes flashed with fury, I frowned and before I knew what she was doing, she ran forward then toward Mike's retreating figure, kicking him square in the manhood. I stared, shocked. Shocked yet so fucking proud. I mean, yeah, violence was bad, but...I mean, come on.

She darted back to me then, grabbing her bag that she dropped on the ground and grabbing my hand. I grabbed my bag and let her pull me to the truck. She didn't say anything until we made it to my house. I glanced at her, concerned. She was probably angry, mega pissed. I would be too.

But I also couldn't hide my amusement from what she did to Newton.

That was just brilliant. It was some unspoken rule during fights between two guys, never to use that method, kicking in between the legs, but that same rule didn't go for girls. I'm glad she took advantage of that. She finally looked at me, I waited for her to yell at me like I deserved. She didn't look angry, though. She was examining my face. She bit her lip and frowned. She seemed to be thinking about something, she blushed without knowing then looked up at me again.

I wonder what that was about? She took my face in her hand, turning it to get a proper look.

"How the hell did this start?" she demanded, her voice remained light, though. I couldn't tell her. What Mike said or thought shouldn't matter, yet I had reacted.

But, Bella would only get upset. I didn't want to do that. "It doesn't matter." I said simply, avoiding her gaze. If I looked her in the eye, I would break, like I always did. She hadn't used this against me yet, but she would figure out my weaknesses soon enough. "Just tell me, Edward. Or I could go talk to Mike."

She hedged. I glared at the dash. Damnit, she knew one weakness, enough to hit the nerve. I didn't want her anywhere near him, and of course, he would be willing to say anything. So I caved, sighing. "He said you were his," I began, she snorted, amused at this. She wouldn't be for long.

"He said he slept with you," I continued. She was silent, I couldn't look at her reaction. I sighed and closed my eyes, trying to relax. "All the time. That you begged for it...that...you liked...it rough," I opened my eyes then, glaring, my fists clenched, my teeth gritted.

"And I...lost it." I confessed, meeting her eyes then. She was crying. I wanted to pound Mike's face into the pavement, smear his body against a railway track or something. She shook her head vigorously. "Liar!" she hissed, her voice betraying her emotions. I leaned closer to her, needing to comfort her.

I lifted her chin up and brushed away the tears that leaked down her face.

"I'll look after you," I promised. And I would. I would do everything humanly possible. I kissed her then. She was surprised at first, then kissed me back, her hands twining around my neck, her fingers splaying through my hair. _Oh, god,_ when she did that, it made me insane.

Our lips parted, I caught her bottom lip between mine, savouring... I didn't want to push her, not after today, not ever. She would do whatever she wanted, what she was ready for. So I broke away, kissing her once more, gentle and quick. My fingers were also combed through her long brown locks.

It was impossible not to. She appeared to like it anyway. She smiled playfully. "I'll see you tomorrow..." her sentence trailed off.

I nodded and smiled. "I love you." I told her, her eyes brightened and she grinned.

"I love you, too." She said. I smiled then became serious. "Does your side hurt?" I frowned, eyeing her waist, a little longer than was necessary. She shook her head, indicating it didn't. I narrowed my eyes at her, knowing she was lying. I reached over, slowly and gingerly pulling her shirt and sweater up to her ribs on the right side. I hissed when I saw the rather large pink bruise. It was going to get worse over night. She pulled her shirt down.

"Tomorrow." She clarified, trying to distract me. I leant down then and gently kissed where the bruise was. I got out then and pranced—if guys prance—up the porch steps, hesitantly leaving her alone until tomorrow. The thought was incredibly depressing. I dragged my feet through the door, stealing one last glance at her. Carlisle had left for work already, he was on the graveyard shift this tonight. I felt sorry for him, the long hours were brutal. And yet, he always looked like freaking perfection. I wonder how he did it.

Tossing that thought aside, I slumped down at my piano...fingers hovering.

Even if she couldn't hear, I played for Bella.

**Please Review. Love the feed back peoples. You guys rule! You're the (if you watch BONES) Booth to my Brennan. :D And thats saying a lot. :) xoxox**


	22. My Day of Wreckening BPOV

**WARNING: The following chapter contains content that maybe offensive, i.e, sexual assault.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**This chapter was pretty emotional, I know I cried when I wrote it. :\ I reccomend listening to "Happiness (ironic, isn't it?) by the Fray" and/or "Halleluja by Rufus Wainright."**

I watched, slightly detached, as the green forest blurred by my window.

I was in a haze, Edward did that to me. I sighed dramatically. When I reached my house, I remembered Alice. Oh crap, I was going to have to tell her. I grimaced at the thought, but knew that I owed her an explanation.

I felt ready to do it now. I slid out onto the muddy kerb, slamming my door shut, my eyes meeting Alice's. She was sitting on the porch steps, waiting for me. She saw me, her head snapped up and she grinned.

She flitted to my side, gracefully, and took my hand. "Hello, Bella." She sang. I giggled. "Only you would find this exciting, Alice." I told her. It was true, she found almost anything exciting.

A shoe sale was like world peace, Christmas time and a million freaking birthdays rolled into one.

I let her pull me up the stairs, I retrieved my house key from my pocket, shoving it in the lock and turning. It stuck a bit, then came open. I took a deep breath while taking my jacket off and stowing my bag by the sofa. Alice's eyes were twinkling, then she must have realised that what I had to tell her wasn't happy at all. She fidgeted with the hem of her designer sweater, unsure of what to say next. So I helped her.

"Alice?" she looked up at me. "Hmm?" "Relax. Now, I need you not to freak out. Okay? I'm telling you this in confidence." I warned her in a stern voice, I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. I sounded like Charlie—that was both amusing and horrifying. I closed my eyes, rubbing them with the heels of my palms. Alice stayed surprisingly silent, although I knew the expense was killing her. I motioned for her to sit. She obeyed, sitting down on the couch, crossing her legs.

I sat down, too, sensing a wave of tears as I confessed.

With an enormous intake of breath, I began. "Okay, so, you know how I used to come here every Summer?" She nodded, frowning slightly. "Well," I continued, my voice becoming shaky. "I used to have a friend. His name was—" I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. "He was my friend. We had been since we were five."

She smiled slightly, although I knew she sensed there was some underlying hurt. "It was about two years ago, he said he liked me. He didn't elaborate, so I just shrugged it off." A tear ran down my cheek, Alice stayed still, trying to understand. "I didn't know," I whispered, my mind trailing off. "And then, that same year, I came here for Christmas." I stared at my hand that was picking the threads out of the sofa cushion. "Mum and Phil were on their honeymoon." I shook my head, trying to get back to the point.

"So, we were talking out on the porch, and he tried to kiss me." My voice squeaked, and I tried to control it, I wasn't even at the worst part. I needed to slap myself. "I pulled away, he got upset about it." I sniffed, wiping at my eyes. "So, that was that." Alice breathed a sigh of relief. But I continued.

"I didn't want to let it come between us." Alice frowned, realising there was more. "So, when I came back last Summer, I went down to La Push. I thought about how we had been best friends since grade school. You didn't just give that up over a silly misunderstanding, right? Anyway, I drove to his house.

It was a Sunday, so Charlie was out fishing with Billie, his father." I breathed in shakily, more tears erupted. I winced but kept going. She had to know, even if it killed me. Her eyes were shining, her expression concerned, but she hadn't fully grasped what I was confessing, not yet anyway.

"I walked into his room, because I couldn't find him in the living room..." The memory cemented in my mind, the words flowing.

"_I have to make things right." I told myself as my truck inched toward La Push. I had been putting this off, I hadn't had time to make amends last Christmas. Maybe our friendship could still be salvaged. After all, Jake was my only friend in Forks. I didn't want to spend every summer here alone. _

_That would be beyond hell. I gunned the engine down the highway. Jake's little red house sat alone and silent, surrounded by thick forest on all sides. His shed down by the back of the house was like a refuge for him sometimes, when he wanted to be alone. I smiled as I caught sight of his motorbike. _

_We had fixed them up, biking around the Quileute reservation a couple times before Charlie forbid me from doing it anymore. He could be such a killjoy, but then I guess, he had seen too many bike accidents on the roads. _

_I pulled up on the kerb, Jake's rabbit was occupying the driveway, he wasn't allowed to drive it yet, but that didn't stop him. I hadn't seen him in months. How would he react to seeing me? And after what had happened? _

_I pondered all this, sitting silent and hyperventilating in my truck. _

_The smell of the leather seats calmed me. It was familiar and homey. I took a deep, readying breath, preparing myself for the cold shoulder, if Jacob were so inclined. I stretched my legs, procrastinating, staring up at the cloud cover ahead. Was it ever sunny here? _

_I thought cursedly about the dreary weather as I slowly made my way to the porch. _

_Up the steps, one by one. Take a breath and knock. I did. There was just silence. _

_I frowned, it wasn't that hard to hear someone coming, especially in a house as small as this. _

_I hesitantly opened the front door, peering inside, trying not to be intrusive. "Jake?" I called. "It's me. Bella. Jake, I need to talk to you." _

_I called through the house. There was no answer, maybe he was out with the Quileute boys. But that wasn't usually his style. I bit my lip, considering letting myself inside. I always used to, but now it seemed like a violation of privacy, like the incident with Jake had wiped our record void of any familiarity of me. _

_I was a stranger, I had to wait for someone to come to the door to go in. I sighed, glancing back at my truck. _

_Maybe I could call Charlie so he could ask Billie where Jake was. I stood there, deciding. _

_Where could he be anyway? Apart from me, I didn't know he had other best friends. Maybe he had made some, or gotten a girlfriend—that thought made me relieved. And cheerful. I would be delighted to meet her. I trotted back down the steps of the porch before I heard a shout. "Bella?" I spun around, looking through the gap in the door, I couldn't see anyone. _

_I jumped back up the steps and pushed my way in. "Jake? You home?" I asked, rounding the corner of the hall to the living room. It was also empty, but I was sure I heard his voice. I crept toward his bedroom door, he could be sleeping. But then who would have shouted my name? _

_I pushed my hand against the door, it was open. I walked in, the room looked mostly the same as it always did. The door closed behind me, I jumped, startled then I saw who was there. "Jake." I breathed. His face stayed emotionless and I wondered how much damage I had done. _

_"Hey," he murmured. I bit my lip. "How have you been?" I asked, trying to strike a conversation. He shrugged. _

_"You know." I nodded, not really _knowing _at all. _

_I glanced studiously around his bedroom. It was a little messy, but thats how I remembered it. _

_"I see you still can't keep your room tidy." I stated, trying to make him laugh or at least smile. _

_He did neither. My eyes came across a picture on the nightstand. It was a picture of Jacob, and a girl—a girl I knew. _

_Leah Clearwater. They were in a tender embrace. I blushed, feeling rude for staring at it. "You got a girlfriend?" I asked, smiling. _

_He didn't smile, his eyes were black—too dark. I began to feel uneasy. I never felt anything but safe with Jacob. Something had changed. "Yeah—Leah." He said, his voice a low monotone. _

_"Huh. She's really pretty." His eyes showed some emotion then—finally. _

_"Yeah, she is. She's hot." I raised an eyebrow. Jake was never this abrasive. "Won't let me fuck her, though." He said flatly. My eyes widened, shocked. He said what? I frowned, my mouth hanging open. "Oh," was all I seemed to get out. Maybe I should leave. _

_Jacob obviously didn't want me here, nor was he in a talkative mood. "She's not really my type, though, I guess." He sighed. I frowned. "I always had a boner for this other chick." His words were slurred. How could he be so crude? My Jacob? What the hell was wrong with him? _

_He was always so polite, he was younger than me, for pete's sake. And I hardly ever used that kind of innuendo. He smirked at me. "Are you...drunk? Jacob?" I asked in a small voice. He shrugged. "So this chick. She rejected me." My heart beat sped. I knew who he was talking about, and I didn't want to hear it. _

_"Jake—" He cut me off. "And you know what? I'm tired of it." He spoke, his voice low and husky. I could almost smell the liquor. _

_"You're drunk. I'm going home." I tried to walk past him, he slammed his hand against the door. "I'm tired of you rejecting me. I want you..." he trailed off, his eyes glazing over as if he was possessed. He smiled at me then. "And I'm going to have you." His hand wrapped around my wrist. "Jake!" I yelled. "Jake, please!" I cried. _

_"That's right, beg." He hissed, grabbing my other wrist. I stomped on his foot, his hand let go of my wrist, only to slap across my cheek. I gasped. He hit me. His eyes widened then, as if he realised what he was doing. I almost cried with relief, but the monster in those eyes reappeared. _

_The bile was rising in my throat. I should never have come here. I struggled out of his grasp, making a run for the door. _

_He came up behind me, slamming my head into the wood. I screamed. He grabbed me by the arms and threw me down on his bed. _

_He was on top of me in an instant. I tried to scream but his weight was keeping the air from coming into my lungs. I needed that air to breathe, I couldn't use it to scream. _

_Any attempt would be feeble and too quiet. He undressed me then, pulling off my jacket, almost tearing it to shreds. I whimpered as he pulled my jeans down, throwing them across the floor._

_"Jake, don't. Please, don't!" I begged, tears running down my face. He wouldn't listen. He was doing everything so quick. I was already naked underneath him, trembling with fear and disgust. How could he be doing this? How could Jacob? How could he? _

_"Shh," he hissed. "No-one has to know." He promised, unbuckling his belt. I closed my eyes, squinting them tightly shut. I felt the pain. The searing agony. I cried out. "Ugh! Please, Jake!" I wailed, hiccupping with tears. "Stop!" I whimpered. No, our friendship could not be salvaged. _

_"Get off me!" I screamed, finally getting enough air to do so. He slapped me hard across the face, rocking hard against me. I screamed, he covered my mouth with his hand. My arms were pinned to the bed. I tried not to think of it, but it was impossible. _

_Not with this pain. He finally let go of me, rolling onto his side. I curled up in a ball, whimpering, sobbing. "Monster," I whispered. Shaking and trembling, my face hurting, all of me was hurting. I stumbled off the bed, grabbing my clothes and pulling them on, running for the door. I was outside in a split second, but running hurt, moving hurt. _

_I stumbled over onto my hands and knees, emptying my stomach in horrid wretched over the bushes in the front yard. I made my way to my truck, speeding as fast as I could to get home. I sat down in the bottom of the shower, fully dressed. I was in shock. How could he do this? _

_I kept asking myself that question over and over again. It was just a lapse in control. He was drunk. _

_I cried myself to sleep that night, waking up a few times to go and vomit._

"...the next day, Jacob came to my house, after Charlie left. I screamed at him, hitting him. He chased me out into the back yard. He did it again, three more times that day. I told Charlie I had the stomach flu and I fell down the stairs—to explain the bruises on my face. I didn't have to explain my other injuries," my voice was so low, Alice had to lean in to hear me.

"I threatened to tell on him," I shook my head, wiping at my eyes, the motion was useless, more came streaming down. The agony of the memories was tearing at my chest. "He did it again, he had come over, again. He knew what he was doing. He even came prepared each time, bringing protection." I shuddered, Alice looked sickened. "I was terrified, screaming at him to leave me alone. He got angry..." I whispered.

I sniffed, my eyes sore, stinging, the tears didn't stop. I let myself go then, having finished my story. I looked up into Alice's horror stricken eyes. "He what?" she whispered, staring straight ahead, her mouth hanging open, a tear beading in her eye. "Oh, Alice," I sobbed. She took my hand and scooted closer, letting my lean on her shoulder.

"I can't believe this," she breathed. "I just—Bella, I'm so sorry." She said, I could hear her voice was on the edge of tears.

I looked up at her again, through blurry eyes. "Sorry for what? You've been nothing but a great friend to me." I said solemnly, giving her the best smile I could muster for that moment. She burst into tears then, hugging me tightly against her.

We cried together, my body shaking with sobs. She tried to soothe me, rubbing my back, smoothing my hair across my shoulders. In my living room, we sat, for hours. I had ended up with my head resting on her lap, hugging a pillow to my chest.

After a stretched moment of silence, Alice spoke. "Have you told, Edward?" she murmured.

"Yes," I whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you first—it's just—" She squeezed my hand. "Bella. It's okay. You do not have to explain yourself. I'm glad you could tell me, though." I smiled. "Thanks, Alice." I mumbled, squeezing her hand back. I had been so worried about this moment, and for no reason. Alice was as loving and caring as I had hoped. She was only worried about me. Hearing about what had happened had made her upset. She held me in her arms, comforting me for the rest of the afternoon.

"How did he react?" she asked. "He was...I don't know. He was shocked at first. Then, he looked angry. Then...he held my hand and told me I wasn't damaged. That _he_ couldn't change me." I smiled, teary eyed. "Wow," Alice murmured. "I expected he'd be angry." She added.

I frowned. "You did?" I asked, sitting up so I could watch her face. "Well, yeah. I mean, I saw you two today. You're right, I know what I saw, and I saw how he feels about you. I could see it in his eyes." I smiled, wiping the remnants of tears away. My sleeves were damp.

"I saw it even before you did." She stated, smiling smugly. I frowned and rolled my eyes. "And he's god damn right about that, too. He won't change you. He can't."

"Damnit, Alice. My eyes hurt enough already, stop making me cry." She grinned. "You're so strong, Bella." She said, seriously.

My face fell, my lip trembled. More tears gushed, my shirt was ruined. "Have you told anyone besides me and Edward?" she enquired, raising her eyebrows. I shook my head. "I haven't told Edward exactly what happened, either." She frowned. "Why...?" I raised an eyebrow. She bit her lip, considering this. "He might go commit a felony.

Possibly, well, certainly murder." I said. She sighed. "You should tell him. I'm not ordering you to, but he should know. He probably wants to know, so he can help you get through it. I'll be here, too." She promised. I knew I would have to tell Edward more of the story sooner or later. I sighed and smiled at her half-heartedly. I cringed at the thought of going through that episode again, like I had just been through on the sofa with Alice. But, it felt good to let out, like before, with Edward.

Even if it had only been very vague. I bid a thankful goodbye to Alice, she kissed me on the cheek before prancing of into the dark to her Porsche.

I made dinner for Charlie when he got home. I made fish and a salad. He had two servings, thanking me before starting on the dishes. I smiled.

"I'm going to bed," I declared. Charlie frowned, looking at the clock.

"So early?" I shrugged. "I'm tired." I stated, throwing him a quick smile and dashing up the stairs to my bed.

I showered, washing my hair, throwing my damp, salty clothes into the hamper. I collapsed onto my beloved bed. My wet hair draped over my pillow, dampening it, but I didn't care. I was so drained from today. It was quite a day, I had to admit. My eyes were red and sore, the bruise on my ribs was throbbing slightly. I felt weak.

I could be struck down so easily. I remembered my dream from that night. The dream when Edward had told me not to let him win. It sounded like something he would say, it felt real. Like I had heard those words with my own ears.

I felt my heart ache for Edward, a few miles away, but it felt like separate countries. I sighed longingly, rolling onto my side.

_In the morning. I'll see him in the morning. _I chanted the words in my head. But doing so did not speed time up.

I imagined him sleeping beside me, just like last night. His arm draped around me tightly.

Even though he wasn't there in body, he was there with me.

**I totally cried during the scene at Jacob's house. And where Alice is telling Bella she is strong. Love that bit.**

**I hate Jacob! :D Love love love.**


	23. Plan EPOV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. :) ENJOY PEEPS. Thanks for Reviews guys, especially Twigaloo and Meg. You guys just keep coming back. ;) Love it!**

I was home alone for dinner.

Just making a sandwich, thats all I seemed to eat these days.

I could cook, but I didn't feel the drive to do so. I used to cook for my parents. I dropped down on the sofa, turning the T.V on while trying to do homework. Evolution didn't implant the gene in male's brains to multitask.

My eyes were glued to the T.V, I couldn't eat or do anything at the same time, that was just impossible. By eight, I finally finished my Trig after switching the T.V off for distracting me. I had planned to go straight to bed when I heard the phone ringing. I hesitated, I had never answered the phone here before. Would it be rude for me to? I sighed, standing and picking up the cordless from it's charger on the coffee table in front of me.

"Hello? Cullen residence." Wow, that sounded gay. "Hello, is Edward there?" I frowned, who would be calling for me?

"It's Alice Brandon." "Oh, Alice. Yeah, it's me, Edward. What's up?" I asked, surprised. She sighed, long and heavy. "Bella told me." She knew I would understand without elaboration. "Oh, is she okay?" I asked, concerned. She would be upset, no doubt. I wish I could be there with her. "Alice?" "Yeah, yeah. She's fine, don't worry. I stuck around with her for a while until Charlie came home." I froze. "Did Jacob come home with him?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Is that why you're calling?" I prompted, already walking towards the door.

"No, he didn't. Relax, okay? She's fine." She reassured me. I relaxed, minimally. "'Okay, what is it then, Alice?" She cleared her throat.

"Okay, I just wanted to let you know that there are details about it that you don't know yet. I'm sure you're aware of that." I sighed. "Yes," I answered flatly. "But she wasn't ready to tell me, she had only just confessed the gist of it to the first person ever. So, who was I to push her?" I reasoned. "I know. And I'm really glad you were there for her when she thought she couldn't tell me." "I'll always be there for her." I vowed. "I know that, too." She said, I could hear the smile in her voice.

"I just also wanted to warn you." She said, seriously now. "Warn me?" I repeated, puzzled. "About what?" I asked. "You're not going to be very happy about what she tells you." I gritted my teeth. "Yeah, I know." I strained to say the words coherently. "Don't do anything stupid. Okay?" "But that jackass did something to her!" I hissed. "Yeah, don't you think I'd like to fuck him up, too? I would. I _really _would. But that would only get us in trouble, and we can't do that to Bella." I sighed, knowing she was right. "Alright." I agreed. "Fine. I won't do anything to get me in trouble." I promised. "Good. And, thank you again, for Bella." "It's okay. I'll see you later then."

"Bye, Edward." I hung up.

I strode over to the coffee table, placing the phone back. I was on edge. Bella still hadn't divulged the details of her past, but that was perfectly acceptable—technically—seeing as how I hadn't shared my darkest secret yet. I'm not sure I could bring myself to do it. I was horrified at the thought of her hating me, of finding me a despicable excuse for a man.

This was unfair to her, and she had every right to keep everything from me, but that didn't stop me from wanting to know.

I wanted to know what _he_ did. I think I got the basic idea. I know he was violent with her, well, I assumed so, but I didn't suspect anything huge.

What he had done already was bad enough for her to go through. I couldn't stomach the thought of him touching her inappropriately, but that was as far as I imagined he went. I don't think I had enough control for it. I would end up _killing_ Jacob. The thought only made me smile.

Or maybe I knew what he had done already, but I chose not to acknowledge those thoughts, afraid that they might be accurate. Instead of dwelling on this, I thought more about how approving Alice had sounded. I was glad that she had accepted that I was part of Bella's life now.

I was happy, even. I wouldn't want Bella to be torn over two people she cared for in her life. Just like being torn between two parents during a divorce, I would imagine. If they both cared and loved you the same, how could you choose? It was impossible.

But, for me, even if there was another important person in my life, I know I would always choose Bella.

I couldn't fathom a life without her anymore. My universe had collided with hers, and now they were moulded together, creating something so powerful, so intense, that many people go their whole lives without experiencing it. The thought made me sympathize with them.

They were missing out. I wouldn't give up Bella for the world.

It was irrational, I know. Logic told me that our own needs came first, as did the good of humanity's, but not when it came to Bella. If, in a world she didn't exist—I couldn't fathom that either—and it was just me and the rest of the human race, things would be a little more reasonable.

However, Bella w_as_ here. She _did_ exist. She _is_ in my world. _She is my life._ So that meant she came first, in front of me, in front of everyone who I had and would ever come across. I sighed and decided it was time for bed. I had to be up early to get ready so I could go as soon as Bella came to pick me up.

***

It was Friday, a whole school week had stretched by after my confrontation Newton, the sun was rising, a faint orange glow, but it was quickly obscured by thick grey clouds that began to drizzle over Forks. I groaned, wishing for more sun as I glanced out my bedroom windows. Yes, _windows._

The whole of one wall was glass. I stumbled out of bed, slapping my hand over the alarm clock that told me it was six thirty.

I got changed, throwing on a clean button down blue shirt with long sleeves that I rolled up to my elbows, and a pair of jeans.

I came trotting down the stairs and into the kitchen, my stomach growling. My eye caught the shimmer of silver on the kitchen counter as I flicked the lights on. They were my car keys. My eyes widened hopefully. "It's fixed," Carlisle's voice came from behind me. I would have jumped and yelped except he always did that so I expected it most of the time.

I turned to give him a big grin, he grinned back. "Take care of the poor thing, okay?" he asked, frowning like I had just broken his puppy's leg. "I will." I promised, pocketing the keys and walking over to the cupboard, searching for my Count Chocula.

"Thanks, Carlisle." I said finally. He needed to know I was very thankful. He nodded, smiling. Again, another reason why I didn't deserve him as a father. I ate quickly, aching for the purr of my Volvo to sound in my ears. I missed it, even if it was only...wait, how long?

Too long, was the answer. I sighed happily as I got in my car, the soft, cool leather was comforting.

I held the steering wheel and grinned to myself. I was going to go pick up Bella for school. I sped down the highway, anxious to see her face. She would be glad to know my car was back. I know she knew I felt less than a gentleman when I had to rely on her for transport.

Now, she could rely on me, seeing as her ancient truck was bound to die soon. I pulled up on the familiar kerb, Bella's truck was still here, parked in front of me. I skipped out to the front door, hopping up the steps and knocking. "I'll be right down!" she called.

I opened the door, hesitantly. Bella sounded frustrated, flustered.

I checked the time. Ah, she was going to be late to pick me up, thats why.

I grinned. She didn't know it was me here. I tip-toed my way over the threshold, stopping at the bottom of the stairs, stuffing my hands in my pockets. She appeared then, looking jittery. I bit back a laugh. Her hair was falling out of the bun at the nape of her neck, she was wearing a beautiful blue blouse, though, jeans, and her favourite blue converse sneakers.

She had her homework in her mouth, trying to fix her hair, her eyes on her feet to make sure she made it down the stairs—she didn't. I dashed forward, her foot slipping off the edge of one of the top steps. She stumbled, twisting her ankle. She sucked in a breath but before she could scream I caught her.

"Argh!" she huffed, shocked.

"Bella? Are you okay?" I asked anxiously, looking down into her eyes as I held her in my arms, her knees hanging over my left, my right arm behind her back. She smiled, relieved. "Oh, Edward," she breathed. "Hey," I smiled back. "I think maybe you should invest in an elevator to transport you up and down stairs.

I'm only thinking of your safety." She glared at me. I chuckled and leaned my face down to hers.

I let her feet drop so she could stand up, even on the next step above mine, she was still shorter, she came up to my eye level. "Well, thank you for your concern Mr. Cullen. But that won't be necessary, not when I have you here." She mumbled against my face. I cupped her cheek, my fingers combing back through her hair. Her arms wound around my neck, she could reach more easier than usual. Our lips moved together in synchronization. I liked how she called me Mr. Cullen.

That was weird. My hands travelled down her neck to her shoulders, around her back and down her spine. She shuddered, catching my bottom lip between hers.

I groaned. "We're going to be late," I warned, not breaking free. She giggled. "And?" _Why did she do this to me? It was driving me fucking insane!_ My hands moved on their own accord now, down to her hips. She got the idea quick enough. I hoisted her up, her legs linked behind me, around my hips. I still had a hand on her thigh, making sure she didn't slip.

I stepped off the stair case then, breaking away for a moment to find my footing or else injure both of us. That'd be fucking classic...and just my luck. I opened my eyes to find her bag on the floor, picking it up and slinging it over my shoulder.

I grabbed her house key and put it in my jeans pocket. "You gonna pack my lunch in there, too?" she snickered.

I laughed. Her face connected with mine again. I was breathing hard, she was breathing hard. I locked the door and carried Bella out to the car. She would not let go, nor did I want her too. But I was trying to be good. I stopped at the passenger door, leaning her back against the car.

"You're a dangerous being." I murmured, my voice becoming uneven. She blushed. She brought her face close to mine but didn't meet my lips.

She breathed against my face—minty. She gazed into my eyes, smiling slightly, her mouth open. She glanced at my lips. How was it that even though I had just been kissing her, she managed to drive me crazy with her teasing? "I know," she whispered, her lips almost grazing mine. _Fuck!_ Finally, she relented, letting her legs drop to the ground, her body slid against me. _Get a grip, get a grip, get a grip!_ I chanted, shaking my head to keep in control. She grinned and turned around, sliding into the passenger seat. I took a deep breath and rounded the car to get into mine.

We were on our way to school when she spoke again. "Edward?" I grinned.

"Yeeees?" She turned her body in my direction, twirling a finger around a piece of her hair. "Do you want to go to Port Angeles tonight?" I blinked, surprised.

"Um, okay. Sure." I smiled down at her. She grinned, triumphant. I was, too. We walked, hand in hand—still the same electricity from when I first touched her—toward our lockers. I eyed posters of the upcoming prom with a feeling of amusement. What would Bella think if I took her to prom? She would throw a fit, surely.

But that was the fun of it. I wanted to make her feel special, take her out, properly. It sounded cliché, but it was a rite of passage. I grinned conspiratorially as I resolved around the prom plan. Bella raised an eyebrow at me, I wiped my face clean, trying to look blank. She rolled her eyes at me, chuckling and shook her head.

I was looking forward to this outing we had planned, too. I pondered idea of what to do while we were there.

I had been to Port Angeles once while being here, it was actually my first week, the weekend before I started school. It was quite a pretty little, quaint town. I had been there during the day. I assumed it was sort of the Y generation's hot spot, especially with no mall here in Forks.

I wondered idly where Alice got all her designer clothes from, Bella had told me she would wear nothing but, so maybe thats where she got them. I glanced at Bella again, she never seemed to wear any jewellery, maybe I should buy something for her.

Something she could have with her all the time, that she could look at when I wasn't with her for any reason, and she would remember me, be reminded of the way I feel about her. I grinned to myself again, making another resolve, but quickly hid it when Bella looked up at me again.

"I'll see you in English, kay?" she said smiling, stretching up on her toes. I caught her around the waist and gave her a gentle kiss. "Bye." I sighed, staring after her retreating form, she glanced over her shoulder grinning back at me.

I smiled. I stood there for a moment. Someone made a whipping noise as I started to walk in the other direction. I whirled, finding my target. His eyes widened. I slowly sauntered up to Newton, fisting my right hand and pulling it back, not intending to hit him.

He flinched and squealed, squinting his eyes closed. I laughed out loud, shoving him backwards then strolling towards my class room.

What a fucking coward. "You're fucked Newton! Pussy!" I heard someone chastise him as I opened the door to my class.

I chuckled, feeling very happy today.

**HEHEHE. This was just a fun chapter, necessary...sortof. I needed to stretch it out too, the story, coz we can't go from drama to drama, life just isn't like that. LOL. Have fun with it!**

**Will update soon :)**


	24. Moonlit Diamond Heart BPOV

**I thought this chapter would be a bit longer, but it still is pretty big. Anyways, hope you enjoy it :D I definitely had fun writing. And I love your reviews!!**

**You're better than a hot -looking beat up Edward...no wait, maybe not.**

I hopped off to my morning class.

Biology—cringe. Mike was in this class.

But, funnily enough, when he glanced at me, he was about to say something then paused and kept walking, he looked shaken up. I just shrugged it off, grateful for whatever turn of events had turned his mind off me for once.

It sounded conceited, but it was Mike—he could only think of one thing for an extended period of time—and since he was always coddling over me... It all fit. But, his sudden reluctance was unexpected but greatly invited.

I was going on a real date with Edward tonight in Port Angeles, we were going to see a movie or something...maybe have dinner.

I was off on my own cloud of Edward, not noticing my surroundings, so I blushed a deep red when the teacher asked me to answer a question I knew nothing about. I hadn't been listening, hadn't even been aware there were other people in the room. Woops. He frowned at me and asked someone else. I

bit my lip and tried to buckle down and concentrate. Mr. Berty had to leave the room to go get the equipment for our lab today, so I sat doodling across my binder, very careful not to scrawl Edward's name...or his eyes...or his lips... I looked down, realising I had drawn all three. _Fuck it! _I quickly destroyed all trace of my pictures, rubbing them out with my eraser, nervously glancing around to see if anyone noticed. Apparently nobody had...except one.

He hesitated at his desk for a moment then resolved formed in his expression, he put on a cocky grin and made his way over to my lab table. "Hey, how's it going?" I glared him down, not opening my mouth to reply. I put my attention back down to my binder.

"You're writing his name all over your notebook?" he scoffed. I glared again, harder.

_Damnit, why couldn't looks kill?_

He rolled his eyes at me. "You just wish it was you." I murmured. He snorted.

"Well, at least I'm not a tool like Edward." He spat. I stared at him incredulously and laughed.

"You think you're not?" I asked, disbelieving his stupidity, he was even more dumb than I thought.

"I'm not!" he whined. He cleared his throat, realising what a douche he sounded like, maybe that's what I should call him from now on.

Douche. "You could get a lot more from me." He winked. I glowered at him. "Awwh, don't be like that," he whinged.

My hands were balled into fists as he slid into the seat next to mine. "I can give you everything you ever wanted. You'll be begging for more, baby." I could feel the bile rising in my throat when he whispered that in my ear. "Fuck...off." I told him, speaking slowly enough so Douche would get it through his thick fucking skull. His blue eyes twitched a bit.

"Ohh, I like the way that sounds," he murmured. I felt his hand creep up my thigh. I swatted it off.

"Keep your fucking hands to yourself!" I hissed, nobody noticed, they were wrapped up in ignorance. I stood up, needing to get out of this claustrophobic chamber, he was so close I could smell him. I didn't like it. I pushed my chair back and ran out of the classroom, leaving my books behind. I'd get them later.

I was outside the cafeteria taking in deep breaths of the moist morning air around me. A hand grabbed at my wrist, turning me around.

"I said, fuck off!" I shouted. Douche just smirked, leaning closer, rubbing up against me. With that, my anger boiled over.

"FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. GO DIE IN A FUCKING HOLE, YOU FUCK!"

I brought my hand forward, punching him in the eye. "Argh! Bella, fuck!" I shook my hand out, god it hurt. But god, was that fucking worth it. I scowled down at his pitiful form, crouching on the damp grass, weeping. "Touch me, come near me or talk to me again, and I will guarantee your eye won't be the only thing hurting." I warned under my breath, he nodded.

I turned away, smiling.

Bella: one. Douche bag: zero.

Yes, today was excellent.

I even got back to class before the teacher did, so he didn't notice my absence, so no detention there. I felt strong. I felt so fucking great. I had never cursed that much in my life. But it just came out, acid flowing free from my tongue. But I didn't even try to stop it. He got what he deserved. I flitted down the hallways and into Gym.

Although it was a pretty crappy subject, it still couldn't dampen my heightened spirits. We were doing volley ball—joy. Oh, well. I ran into a few people—and that was before I had left the change rooms. When I was out on the court, I hit four people in the head, tripped over my own feet, and managed to scratch some girl accidentally.

I apologised profusely. She said it was okay. I didn't believe her, she just wanted me to shut up. I didn't really know her name anyway, no loss of friendship there at least. After taking down half my team when I tripped, coach Clapp, blew the whistle for the end of the lesson.

I was grateful, really needing to see Edward again. I changed swiftly, flying through the Gym doors and into my English room. It was already half full, Edward was sitting in his usual seat in the back. I grinned and blushed at seeing him, he grinned back, his eyes alight. He scanned me as I came closer, I tried in vain to hide my bruised hand, nonchalantly hiding it behind my back. His eyes narrowed.

"Hiding something are we?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "I don't know what you're talking about." I said innocently. He caught my hand as I turned to sit down. "Hey!" I complained. He held it gently, examining closely, leaning in, his brow furrowed. Then, understanding flashed across his face. Then...then there was anger. He glared up at me. "What did he do?" he asked, his voice hard.

"He was being a creep. I punched him. He cried." Edward blinked. "He...what?" he giggled.

"He cried?!" That seemed to satiate his attention. I sat down, grinning. "Yup," I answered. "Like a little girl." He sighed, wiping at his eyes. "Oh, you are just awesome." He leaned over the aisle, planting a kiss on my lips. The teacher cleared his throat then, eyeing us pointedly. After getting our attention, he began with the lesson.

I couldn't help but smile whenever I heard Edward snigger about Douche—I mean Mike.

***

It was an hour drive to Port Angeles. And it was a Friday, so we had plenty of time to be out late with no school in the morning.

Edward took me to his house first up, saying he had something to show me. I walked in, feeling comfortable there now, not like a person—it would be a while before I could feel like I belonged here as a person—more like a piece of furniture. Like a lamp or coffee table.

I frowned at myself, I was comparing myself to appliances and furniture. Maybe I should go see a shrink. Snapping me out of my reverie, Edward took my hand, leading me down the other side of the massive living room to his piano. "You _do_ play!" I exclaimed.

"I knew it!"

He grinned and motioned for me to sit. I did, bouncing with excitement. He sat down beside me, his fingers trailing gracefully over the keys.

It was beautiful, not a melody...just notes, he was warming up. I waited, watching his face.

He was concentrating. Then he closed his eyes, leaning his head back slightly, taking a deep breath. And without opening them, he began to play. No words, there were no words. Such a beautiful tune...unbelievable...breath-taking. It was as harder to describe the beauty of this than it was a sunset...or the Mona Lisa.

I sighed, closing my eyes. He ended it on a slightly higher note then a low one. "What was that?" I squeaked, amazed and awe-struck. He smiled my crooked smile, wiping at a tear that had streamed down my cheek. I hadn't realised. "Something you inspired." He answered simply, smiling again.

"You—wrote...you wrote that...for _me_?" I whispered. He nodded, sliding closer, cupping my cheek.

"But music can't compare to you." He kissed my forehead, grazing his lips down my temple. Oh, was he good at this.

I knew I deserved it, from teasing him this morning. From playing so sweetly, to playing so dirty, all in a matter of seconds. His lips kissed my cheek gently, moving to my jaw, my ear-lobe. I shuddered, turning so I was straddling the piano bench. He turned too. I was breathing in quick, shallow breaths.

He smiled against my skin, making his way down my neck and to my collar bone. My hand reached around his neck, combing through his hair. Two can play at that game. He paused, his breathing hitched. I smiled, trying to stop myself from laughing victoriously.

But then his lips moved to the hollow at the base of my throat, going back up to my chin. I groaned, sighing.

"Alright, you win." I granted. He leaned back, grinning widely. I rolled my eyes and stood up. I had come to realise how attracted I was to Edward, and I knew I would only want more.

I blushed at those thoughts, turning pink, I swivelled around, blocking Edward's view. He came up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist, his lips travelling down my neck again. 

_Oh, crap...he...what? Oh...what was I doing? Er...Edward...Mmm, Edward. Wait, no. Huh?_

Even my thoughts were incoherent. He stopped at the corner of my mouth, his lips lingering.

"You're the dangerous one." I told him, repeating his earlier words.

He smiled, turning me around to face him. Oh, thank goodness. I thought I was going to explode with impatience. His mouth came down on mine, gentle yet passionate. I clutched his shirt, his hands were holding my face. My tongue traced his bottom lip and I thought I would faint.

_Motherfucker,_ I was battling with myself.

Stay cool. But he was the first to break it. "Okay. You win now." I laughed. "Yay!" I clapped, feeling like a parody of Alice.

"Come on, we should go." I nodded, grabbing his hand and towing him back out the front door. He started the engine after buckling me in, the purr of the Volvo was so different to my truck, so much quieter. I was grinning the entire ride there. We chatted about trivial things, mostly about school. It was pleasant.

I was having a great time without even trying. We were reaching the town outskirts now, the deep forest was starting to thin out, spotted in places with small cottage houses or businesses. It was beautiful, really. It was around five o'clock, so I suggested we saw a movie first.

Edward bought the tickets, not allowing me to, of course. We had a little while to wait before it started so we went browsing through the small shops that were still open. An antique jeweller's seemed to catch Edward's attention. He dragged me in there and we had a look. I stopped by a heart shaped diamond-looking pendant bracelet. It was magnificent.

So beautiful. But the price tag made me cringe internally. Quickly looking away before my heart broke, I decided to explore the section at the back. There were sterling silver rings and necklaces. I bit my lip, considering buying something.

I decided not to, I shouldn't waste my money...I needed to save it for college anyway. When I turned back to the front, Edward was at the counter, black shiny credit card in hand.

My eyes widened. I warily walked up to him, he ignored my probing eyes and walked me outside. He sat down on the park bench, I sat beside him. He pulled out the box he was concealing and balanced it on my knee. I looked up at him, my brow furrowing in a worried expression. "Whenever you see it, you'll be reminded of me. You'll know I'm always with you...in some way." I opened the small white box, knowing what I would find. The diamond heart bracelet.

"Edward, I—" I shook my head. "I can't take this," He shook his head then.

"Please?" he begged, leaning forward, gazing up at me under his eye lashes. I was hypnotised. "O-okay," I stuttered.

"I will." He grinned then, clasping the bracelet on my left wrist before kissing it, then kissing me on the lips. "The movie is about to start, we should get going." I nodded, still in a trance. I didn't really understand the movie. It was pretty low-budget, crappy horror movie with tomato sauce and plastic heads. Edward didn't like it either.

We pretty much laughed all the way through, especially when a girl in front of us screamed. That just made us erupt into a fit of giggles. I cried because I laughed so hard. We strolled hand in hand outside into the cool air. I could smell the ocean off the docks close by. It was calming.

The salt and sand was a heavy perfume in the air, but not unpleasant like most beaches in the pacific North West. We were laughing about the movie some more, making our way back to the Edward's car.

We had to park a fair way away, the limited car park was full when we arrived.

Edward stuck close by my side as we walked the dark and murky back streets of Port Angeles. We had to walk in front of a seedy bar named _Paulie's_. There were drunk men stumbling out of it and puking in the gutter. I made disgusted face, squeezing Edward's hand tighter.

"Oh, hey baby!" one slurred, staggering out drunkenly onto the sidewalk in front of us. Edward pulled me behind him slightly, angling his body so he was shielding me. But the guy held no threat, just as he took a step forward, Edward poked him in the chest and he fell backwards, rolling over then started snoring into the pavement.

"Hey, wait!" another slurred in a husky voice. I was closest to the entrance now, Edward was trying to pull me away. "Ugh, another one." I muttered. "Yo, Bella!" they called. I stiffened. _Oh, no!_ That voice had haunted my dreams.

That voice was the one I heard hiss threats in my ears. My breaker.

"Jacob," I choked out, ready to vomit like the drunk men on the ground. His tallish build staggered out into the street lit opening. Edward's hands had appeared around my arms. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak...I was paralysed.

"Edward," was all I said, but in that one word, I could hear and Edward could hear the fear and distress.

Without another moment passing, Edward now stood in front of me. But Jacob kept talking.

"I wanted to talk to you. You need to listen this time." Edward took a step forward then. "You will never talk to her again." He threatened. His voice even frightened me. It was the voice grown men could be afraid of. He seethed with hatred, of fury. Something flickered in Jacob's eyes.

He leaned around so he could look at me. I held on tight to Edward's jacket, trying to glare but failing. He spoke then, sounding almost like a dog's growl. "You told him," he accused. "Didn't you? It was just sex! You fucking wanted it!" I just stared, eyes brimming with tears. All my bravery from my brawl with Mike had dissipated. Jacob's hand reached forward to touch me, Edward's hand flew out, grabbing his wrist and bending it the other way. He threw him against the brick wall, pulling his bent arm all the way up his back. "Argh! Get the fuck off me!" he shouted.

"It was not just sex," I said, my voice shaking, on the verge of more tears.

"It was rape."

Edward flinched, he didn't know all this yet. What a way to find out—kind of at the perfect time actually, Jacob in his capable hands right now.

I could see his hands tighten, one was on his neck, and I knew he yearned to kill him right there. I was trembling, unable to control my emotions. Edward glanced back at me, I met his eyes. The muscles in his jaw tensed but he let go of Jacob, letting him slide to the pavement. He stood over him then.

"Stay the fuck away, or I'm calling the police." He warned, and I knew he hated to involve the police, I knew he would rather take care of it himself. I finally found my feet and ran. I ran. Edward was behind me, easily keeping up. I was sobbing, too. It was hard to breathe. I reached the car and collapsed onto the road. I sobbed loudly, my whole frame was shaking. "Bella," Edward said, his voice was contorted.

"Bella. Come here," he said, whispering. He picked me up off of the wet road and sat me down in the car. He left the door open and kneeled on the sidewalk in front of me. "Bella. Please, don't cry." He begged in a pained voice. "I can't stand it." His voice wasn't the furious growl it had been before, but he sounded like he was in agony.

I sniffed, wiping at my eyes, the sobbing coming to a halt.

"Now you know," I breathed heavily. He nodded.

"I know. But that doesn't change anything between us. You're still the same. Still beautiful, still smart, still Bella." He smiled half-heartedly, placing his hands on either side of my face.

I let out a broken laugh, sniffing, still blinded by tears.

I watched Edward as his eyes grew darker...a shadow passed across his features. He shut his eyes, breathing heavily but his thumb was stroking my cheek. I put my hand over his, holding it there. His teeth were gritted together, his lips a hard line. He let out a deep breath, scowling at the ground beneath him. He shook his head.

"I should have known..." he whispered to himself. And so quietly, that I wasn't sure about what he actually said, he added, "But that won't matter for much longer."

I would have said something, but what?

_Don't go and hurt the guy who raped me?_ Even mentioning the fact again would just make him want to do it more.

I sighed, anxious and torn. He glanced up at me then, leaned forward and kissed the tip of my nose. He put his forehead against mine, his fingers sprawling through my hair.

"Don't worry now. You're safe." He promised. It was meant to sound reassuring, but his voice was still dark and calculating. He let go of me then and closed my door, running around to his side and hopping in. "I'll take you home, okay?" I nodded, not trusting my voice.

***

The moonlight shone a glistening crescent against the shiny hood of Edward's car.

We came to a stop on the kerb outside my house.

Charlie was on the graveyard shift again, I observed, eyeing the empty space his cruiser usually occupied. I guess I would just go to bed early.

"Do you want me to stay with you until your father comes home?" Edward suggested, tenderly cupping my cheek. I leaned into his hand.

"No," I sighed. "It's okay. I've calmed down now. Go home." I smiled weakly. He frowned, biting his lip. "Are you sure?" it seemed he wanted to more than I did, which was surprising to say the least. It felt like it was more for his benefit...he didn't want me to be alone, he wanted to stay with me, for his sanity and mine, I supposed.

I nodded. "Go on. Go get some sleep. I'll call you in the morning, okay?"

"Okay." He responded morosely. I smiled, kissing him goodnight. He brushed the hair back from my face, stroking my cheek with his fingers. "Night, I love you." I smiled. "Love you, too." He responded, worry still etched in his face. I got out of his Volvo, waving at him.

He waved too, watching my back until I closed the front door behind me. I waited for a few moments, switching the lights on.

Then after a while, I heard his Volvo's engine fade into the distance. I sighed, turning back to lock the door when the phone rang. I started, my heart skipping a beat. "Hello?" I asked in a shaky voice.

"Hey, Bells. It's Dad." I sighed in relief. "Hey, Dad. You on the graveyard shift tonight?" I asked curiously, walking over to the couch and flopping down, exhausted.

"Yeah, kiddo. I am. I just wanted to call and tell you I won't be home until two," he murmured apologetically. "Okay," I sighed. "Make sure you feed yourself." I reminded him, a slight smile on my lips. "Sure thing. Night, honey." "Night, Dad." I heard the dial tone.

I left the phone on the sofa, forgetting about the locks, but turning switching the lights back off.

I dragged my feet up the stairs, they felt so heavy. I yawned, half way up, stretching.

I hadn't realised just how drained I was. I reached my bedroom, breathing a sigh of comfortable relief once my head hit the pillow. But sleep evaded me...even if I'd only been waiting a few minutes for it to consume me. I twisted my wrist around to let the diamond bracelet sparkle in the moon light. It was beautiful. I could feel my eyelids drooping...finally!

But I heard the front door slam. Jerking upright, my heart hammering.

"Dad? I thought you were on the night shift?" I said, frustrated that he'd waken me up.

I marched out of my bedroom, stepping groggily down the staircase. I stopped at the bottom. The lights were still off.

"Dad?" I asked, uneasy.

I small shiver started up my spine, a bead of sweat trickling down my neck, although it was a relatively chilly night—I took that as a bad omen. I turned into the living room, checking to see if he hadn't passed out on the couch. Nope, nothing, I observed, glancing in that direction. Huh. Maybe I had imagined it. My dreams were becoming so vivid.

Because I was paranoid, I breezed over to the front door and locked it, feeling better after doing so. I had forgotten the lamp on the coffee table by the living room. I walked over, leaning down to switch it off.

Then, footsteps that were not mine sounded behind me. Hot breath breathed down the back of my neck... "I told you not to tell," he whispered...I didn't even have time to scream.

**:O OH my goddd! I hope you guys liked it! :D I loved this one.**

**Umm, oh and to one of my favourite reviewers who said Mike should be named Douche, your wish is my command. ;)**

**LOVE 3**


	25. Battles and Burning Ember EPOV BPOV

**This chapter has mixed POV's. Just a warning incase you get confused. ;)**

EPOV

The word echoed menacingly through my head. I had realised why Bella had looked so afraid when that person yelled her name.

It was because she recognized them. Recognized them too well. I knew in a split second after she muttered the word. "Jacob," she had choked. My eyes had widened. I placed myself between Bella and the pathetic excuse for a human being she used to be friends with.

He was a person she trusted. A person she thought she was safe with. A person who had scarred her. A person that now holds a part of her life. It sickened me. Because of him, BBella may never have a day without thinking about him, how he hurt her. I thought back to my parents. There wasn't a day that went by that I didn't think about them. That I wasn't burdened with the guilt, the agony that enveloped me.

But it had been my fault. Whereas Bella had been the victim, just like my parents were, undeserving, innocent people. People that were indisputably good. The fact that she had to live with that pain, it caused me pain, too. To see the clear anguish in her eyes was a feeling that could not be described by words.

She was so fragile, but so strong. She had even moved back to Forks, where she had vowed never to go again, just for her father. She was unselfish and loving, always putting the needs of other before hers. It made me feel pathetic, even less of a human being, which was what I was. I had accepted that. But could Bella? Could she accept me as less?

Bella. _Bella, Bella, Bella. _

I knew her secret. He raped her.

I wanted to end him...to exterminate...to fucking annihilate anything and everything of him, making his existence perish. The rage was clouding my vision. I had him, I had my hand to his throat...and _I let him go!_ I roared at myself.

I had a chance to end it right there, to end Bella's suffering, her torment, everything that made her scared at night, the essence of her nightmares—everything that pained her so badly, and in turn pained me—was at my mercy, and I let him go.

What the fuck is wrong with me? I'll tell you what's wrong with me, I just had to turn and see her face. I could have finished him, but I saw Bella's eyes. The pure hatred and fear emanating from them, knowing I would become the monster if I did what I wanted to do so badly.

So I didn't...I wanted to do it for Bella, but I ended up not doing it...for Bella. Life was fucked. But, mark my words...Jacob was fucked, too.

He was beyond fucked. I'm sure Alice and Charlie would like to make him disappear.

From what I gathered, Charlie was a good father, he would do anything to protect his only daughter, his only descendant.

He loved her, even though he was never one for emotional shows, that much was obvious even from distant observations.

But, there was the matter of Billy, Bella had filled me in on the fact that they were life-long friends. Billy had asked his best friend to take care of _his_ only son, _his _only descendant. I could tell the loyalty to his friend may hinder his motivation.

But when it came to children, I had seen the unwavering protectiveness, the love, the irrational obligation to your own flesh and blood. It was natural, instinct, and I knew then that Charlie would do what was right by Bella. That thought settled my rage only marginally.

I was driving around—going nowhere. Where _would_ I go? I couldn't go home, I would be stewing in the rage, getting more and more frustrated the longer I couldn't do anything about this. I either needed to be with Bella, or I needed to be with Jacob—committing the ultimate crime of passion.

But, then again...Sigh. Bella deserved more than a murderer, no matter how just the act may be.

I had to think of her first, and that was what I was doing. However, I was also thinking of my own pleasure...Bella wouldn't be very pleased with me if I went to jail for murder...premeditated murder.

So, I had to keep my control.

The road was disappearing swiftly under my tyres. I sighed, keeping firm hands on the steering wheel as to keep them from pulling my hair out. I was only going around in circles, my car was quiet enough that no-one would be disturbed if I passed their house more than once tonight.

I wallowed in self loathe, loathe for Jacob and loathe for the fact that I remained useless...for the moment anyway.

I had only left Bella's house moments ago, but my heart still yearned for her. She was a permanent place there now. My car was slowing to a crawl, creeping along the slick asphalt. So suddenly, like a bolt of lightning, an uneasy feeling came over me...a tingling in my body, an unbridled panic.

It sent deep shudders through me...going all the way down to my bones.

BPOV

"I told you not to tell." He whispered...I didn't even have time to scream. I sucked in the necessary breath, but a firm hand grabbed my hair, throwing my face forward and into the banister on the stair case. I let out a pained gurgle. "Argh!" I wailed, trying to pick myself up off the floor. His hands grabbed my arms, throwing me back, I tumbled over the couch. He was on top of me in an instant. "No!" I begged, breathless. His weight was too much.

_Not again! Please, no! _I begged the universe. All to no avail. He picked me up again, only to punch me. Pain shot through my cheek and around my eye. I fell backwards, again, hitting my head on the opposite wall. My hands caught me before I could fall.

"This will teach you!" he growled. I was on all fours, he kicked me in the ribs. I cried out.

"Edward," I choked.

"Edward!"

EPOV

I was brought back to reality. I swear I had heard someone say my name. Well, not heard, but _felt._

It was so surreal. I couldn't place the inkling feeling that I was needed somewhere. Why? I frowned out my windshield, wondering what to do next. I felt so...odd. I felt a pull, a tug from some place. I needed to go somewhere. Maybe it was because I was frustrated, I needed to work it off.

I should drive around some more, maybe see Carlisle at the hospital. He was working late tonight. I should go visit him, he would be pleasantly surprised. Plus, seeing his face, it would help me forget about _him._

I sighed, still not shaking that strange feeling, and started out toward Fork's hospital...

BPOV

"No!" I screamed. His hand wrapped across my face.

I let out an agonized sob. He was kneeling over me. I was on my back again.

I was going to die. This time, Jacob was going to kill me. I savoured the feeling of breathing in and out. I would surely be losing that pleasure soon. There was no dignity in death, usually. Charlie had told me this. After sighting numerous autopsies.

There was no dignity, maybe a scrap, a partial piece of who you were.

In this moment, I knew there would be no dignity for me. I was going to die...I was going to be murdered...I was going to be raped.

Again. I felt the bile rising in my throat.

I caught a glimpse of the sick look of pleasure in his eyes while he struck me over and over and over again.

His hand lifted, my mind wandered, only for a moment, filling my head with distant and close memories.

_When I was eight years old, my mother had taken me to the beach when we were visiting my Grandma in California. I had fallen off the brick wall, her hand catching my ankle before I split my head open on the sharp rocks below. I remembered the look of relief on her face when she said "My baby's okay." _

_Another memory blazed like burning embers before my lids. I was ten. I was on my Summer vacation in Forks—my home away from home._ I liked to call it my home now. _Charlie had his hand on the seat of my new bike. "Come on, kiddo. Get on." He smiled encouragingly. I grimaced, taking a deep breath. _

_"Da-ad," I complained, turning his name into two syllables. "I don't wanna do this," I murmured, scared of falling. He lifted me up onto the seat, not taking no for an answer. My hair blew with the breeze and I was flying, that was my interpretation at that age. Riding my bike was equivalent to flying. _

_I had been so elated. I had no help from Charlie. I had done it all on my own, I had been so proud. _

Another spark of reminiscing. This one was more recent, not as old, but by far, more unique more imperative.

_I had been strolling through the cafeteria, bottle of lemonade in one hand, my other hand swinging by my side. _

_Tripping on the flat floor of the lunch room, like the klutz I was. I had stumbled, dropping my soda bottle. _

_It rolled towards the door, I ran after it like a little child, coming to an abrupt half when I encountered a pair of sneakers. He bent down to retrieve the bottle for me as I gaped silently up at his face._ Later that day..._He had caught me before I fell back into the paint trolley, we shared pleasantries. _

_That's what it would seem like to an outside observer...to me it was so profound. _

_"Bella," he had repeated my name, seeming to like it. I remembered with perfect clarity, the hot burning of my cheeks when I ran into him again in the halls. _That was when he had been avoiding me. He was being polite, but not trying hard to talk to me. I had felt so self-conscious and rejected.

But I remembered that morning he had rescued me from Newton.

As I looked back at it now, I could see the same set of his jaw, the naked hatred in his eyes as he glared jealously at the rival he thought he had.

I hadn't realised it then. I had been wrapped up in my own feelings, unaware of the mirrored emotions he held for me. I remembered the first time I made him smile.

The first time I had realised I was in love with him. I thought it had been one-sided, unrequited.

That I had fallen for Edward and he hadn't felt exactly the same way. I also remembered the pain. The crippling pain. After our first kiss. That one kiss I had thought destroyed us, destroyed me all over again. The kiss that I could not regret.

I couldn't regret it even when I thought he didn't love me...there was no regretting it now. Then, when he confessed. The shared moment when he held my eyes with his, gazing intensely, trying to see into me, trying to decipher me. The moment he said, "I love you, Bella." At that moment I thought my heart would stop beating.

My world halted, the planets aligned. The sun exploded, the moon dropped out of the sky. Anything would have been less of a surprise.

But nothing—nothing would have made me happier. He held me to him, and I admitted what I felt for him, too. Just mere words to a lot of people. I had shared my heart, my soul. There was no turning back. From that point, I believed in soul mates. I still do, even as I lay here, preparing for death on my living room floor.

The night he stayed with me. So beautiful, so important...one of my favourite memories. A memory I had hoped to build upon. I had hoped a lot of things.

I had hoped to get better. I had hoped to grow up. I had hoped of finishing school, getting married. I had hoped of a future with Edward.

The only man I loved. The only man I would ever love. He was everything I had, everything I ever was. I wanted to have children with him. I wanted to grow old. But fait had other plans. Plans that didn't have a happy ending. But, that's how life worked. Who was I to object? It wasn't my place.

I had been handed a gift, something so beyond what I expected. I had been given my share and then some. It was only fair that I shouldn't get more happiness than everyone else in the world. What about Edward, though? He would find his perfect other. I knew it in my heart.

He would live out the future I would never get to see. As long as he existed, I knew I could let go.

He would learn to let me go, too. People healed with time. I had begun to. I knew it, I had been getting better. I had owed that to Edward, though.

He was my safety net. But now I was free-falling again. Edward was nowhere to be seen. He had been dealt a different hand. I shouldn't interfere with my wants, my desires, my will to live. If it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be. How long could one person be loved anyway?

Life didn't go on forever. I opened my eyes to see Jacob's upraised fist collide with my face. I choked on the blood in my mouth, coughing it up.

A look of sheer determination shadowed his face. He was my demon. He was here to ruin my life, to take it away.

Instinctively, I tried shielding my face from his hands. His weight was gone, I rolled to my side, coughing up more blood.

He kicked me in the stomach again, unrelenting, merciless...pure evil. I bid silent goodbyes to my family and to Edward. Tears streaking down my face. Despite my resolve to go willingly, survival was strongly ingrained in my genetics. I tried getting up, tried crawling away.

His hand caught my ankle, pulling me back to him. I kicked and scratched. He just chuckled, like he was enjoying it.

His giant hands encircled my throat, cutting off my air supply. I willed myself. I couldn't help it. It was painful.

Yes, I had lived through worse pain. But pain was pain. And it was normal to try everything you could to stop it.

I struggled under his grasp. He brought my head forward, banging my head back into the floor boards. I stared up into his eyes, finally able to do so, only when it was too late. I could see the front door and the kitchen from where my body was sprawled.

With an enormous feat of strength on my part, I managed to raise my knee, pulling it flat against the floor and pushing it forward with enough force to cause him pain. His hands loosened for just long enough. The blood trickled down the corner of my mouth.

I knew I was bleeding in other places too. I sucked in that breath. But I didn't use it to scream. I uttered the words on my mind. The only word I knew at that point. "Edward." I whispered. His calloused hands tightened convulsively around my neck again. It hurt more than before.

I struggled feebly against his strength, the force he was exerting to end me.

"Edward." I mouthed, no more air able to escape or come in. My eyes drooped, the darkness taking me, pulling me further away.

A loud crash sounded in my ears, it must be my neck breaking.

I managed to turn my head slightly. The front door lay in shards of splintered wood across the floor. A bellowing growl echoed through the room.

I lay motionless, not sure I would move again. I blinked, trying to keep from falling. Falling into oblivion, losing the battle. And, I _was_ losing. I had fought for so long. I wasn't winning. I was tired. And I couldn't fight anymore.

I was being defeated. More growls and what sounded like thunder erupted in my ear drums. It was painful, but my arms wouldn't move to cover my ears.

So I did nothing. I just concentrated on blinking, on staying. I could no longer see Jacob. I was in an abstract blackness. I was detached from my body somehow, like I could no longer feel it. I sighed, the movement hurt. So I was still attached. My head lolled to the side, more blood pooling under my cheek.

I heard glass shattering, wood splintering, growls and furious roars. But I couldn't tear my eyes off that light before me.

It offered bliss, peace...numbness from this pain. It was so tempting. I tried to move forward. I could feel the glow beckoning me forward.

I needed to breathe, and that wasn't happening here.

I needed to follow the light... "Bella." the angels called.

**:D This was so fun to write! Hope you like it. Please R&R. :) *tear***


	26. Macabre Ribbons of Scarlet EPOV

**Discaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**:) Thanks for your previous reviews! AND, to Meg and Twig. You guys review me alot, so i just wanted to say ANOTHER thankyou and **puffy heart****

**You are the cream to my coffee. ;)**

I had driven along this road many times.

I knew it, because I remembered the name of the street. But I felt confused.

I felt lost, like I was losing my purpose every inch I travelled. Something was holding me back...shouting my name.

I squinted my eyes tightly shut. This eerie sensation was overcoming me. But what could it mean?

I had lived my entire life with a mind that could read people, know things that they didn't even say...but this feeling went beyond that. It was so strong.

I needed to follow it. _Edward._ A voice in my head choked. It wasn't the normal voice, it wasn't my voice at all.

I would know this voice from miles underground, it was the voice that was in my dreams. This voice had whispered my name, cried my name, yelled my name. It was the voice that lured me. But this voice. _This _voice had an edge. And edge of fear, of terror, of pleading. "Bella." I whispered. Before my mind worked, my body worked.

I wrenched on the gear shift, pulling it into reverse. I flew backwards, finding a wide enough part of road to turn around in. My whole body was being drawn forward with every turn towards her. It yanked at my heart, hauling me further. I didn't know what I was doing, or if all my brooding was turning me insane.

But I had to go to her. It wasn't a want, more a need, it was definitely something that I needed to do, like I had been given a silent order from no-one in particular. My whole body was aching, not only because of the desperation. It felt like I had been beaten. Panic was setting in. Something was extremely wrong.

I didn't care if I was acting crazy. Nothing else mattered anymore. It was like my head had been cleared of anything but her.

The need was growing stronger, my breathing sped up, as did my pulse. I roared around the corner connecting with Bella's street.

I felt my heart stop, a feeling of pure dread flooding through my veins at the sight of another car in her driveway.

My tyres screeched to a halt as I stepped on the brakes. I was two houses down, the shock stopped me flat. I almost took the door of the fucking car. I darted toward her house, my throat stinging with every laboured breath. "Bella," I choked, strangled with fear. My feet came into contact with the gravel within seconds.

I had never run so fast in my life. I paused at her door, peering through the glass window. A surreal feeling came over me. I was robotic. My foot lifted by itself, connecting with the wooden door, the hinges completely bent, tearing away from the frame. It flew into the house, hitting the stair case, the wood splintering in shards across the floor.

My eyes searched, my feet flying through to the living room. I could feel the numbness, the robotic feeling, it was wearing.

The panic and anxiety and dread and anger was surging around me like a gigantic tidal wave. My eyes made purchase. The face, her face. She was lying on the floor, the rest of her body obscured by another body. Her eyes were wide open...glazed over. Hands around her neck disappeared, leaving a dark bruise where they had been.

Anger...rage, such powerful emotions. They were labels, anger, you were angry, rage...that was worse. Fury was the worst—until now. He had beaten her, his body on top of hers, her eyes unseeing...blank. Her stared up at me, looking shocked. I didn't have to even try. My foot thrust into his face. Blood spattered across the room, his head snapping back.

His body collapsed onto the floor, falling away from Bella. She still lay motionless. I had failed. I understood now.

My punishment had been dealt. Now it was his turn. I jumped over the back of the couch, my hands grabbing a fistful of hair, pulling it out at the roots. A growl of pain and fury slipped from his lips. There was no turning back...I could never go back—never. I had so much strength, considering how weak I was.

Adrenalin caused people to do amazing things. I hoped it was enough. I hadn't even realised he had been hitting me, but I spat out some blood, more dribbled from my mouth.

I stared back at him with a detached sort of hate. It was like my hate threshold had been overdone. I had no more room, so my mind had made new compartment in my body. I was numb, my body moved on its own now. But I could still feel everything.

I ran forward, tackling him into the ground, a tortured roar came from deep in my chest. I hadn't realised I could make that noise.

I pushed him backwards into a glass coffee table. He cried out, glass puncturing his back and my arms. He tried struggling away.

"No." I said quietly. "See how you like it." I stated, pulling on his shirt and shoving him in the other direction. Once he was on the ground, I kicked him again. My shoes cracking the bones in his torso. Blood spurted from his mouth, his eyes were half closed. I kicked his jaw, his head whipping backwards.

His arms went limp, his eyes closed. I wasn't sure what he was—unconscious or dead. I hope for the latter. I limped over to her then. The detached feeling dissolved and I could feel _everything._ "Bella." I whispered. I fell to my knees by her side, her head was lolled to the other side, facing away from me. I couldn't see her eyes, her expression.

That was probably best, I don't think my mind or my heart would stay intact after staring into her dead eyes. My life lay before me. And she was gone.

This was the end of her—the end of me—the end of everything. Existence...was moot. My brain couldn't comprehend anything beyond now. My shaking hands reached for her, her bloody shirt, torn, her hair matted with sticky crimson. My arms wrapped around her still form. "Bella!" my anguished voice cried.

"No, no, no, no, no." I sucked in a breath. But what was the point? Breathing gave life...mine was gone. I didn't have the need to.

I had been right about one thing. Living through this? Surviving again? It wasn't going to happen. My survival only involved _her_. I held her to my chest, I could feel her warm body against mine. I sat knelt, pulling her closer to me, her limp arms at her sides. The diamond on her wrist sparkled in the dim light...the facets mocking me with their lively glistening.

Tears. Hot and wet splattered against her face. My lips pressed against her cheek, kissing across her face. "Bella," I whimpered against her skin.

Every part of me hurt, every part of me was in searing agony. My hands grabbed anxiously at her clothes, afraid of what I already knew. "Bella, please." I begged.

"Take me instead!" I yelled upward. I closed my eyes, breathing her in for the last time. I sat there, sobbing over Bella—the dead love of my life.

After a moment, I paused and decided to talk. To tell her something. "Bella?" No answer. "I've been keeping a secret of my own from you." I said.

_Don't let it win_. Her voice told me. I obliged.

"My parents. They died a year ago." I gulped.

"I had asked my mother to buy me a new book. _Wuthering Heights_. I'm sure you know it. So, she said okay. She took my father with her." I shook my head. "On the way home, their car collided with another. They were alive for a few minutes after the paramedics got there. But..." I took a deep breath.

"Their injuries were too horrific. Apparently my mother told one of the police officers to tell me to take care of myself. She was always thinking of me, never about herself. Everything that was in the car with them as damaged. Except for the book." I told her. "My book. The one I asked my mother to go and buy. It was my fault. And now _this_ is my fault." I squeezed her body again. "I'm so sorry." I whispered, closing my eyes again.

"For what?" she said in a broken whisper.

I reeled. I frantically reached my hand over to her face, turning it towards me.

"What?" I breathed...my mind filled with hope. Her eyes were still blank, her mouth closed. I let out an agonised sob, burying my face in her neck.

"I said, 'for what?'" My eyes widened, pulling back cautiously to stare at her face. She was looking up at me then, her eyes focussed on mine.

I thought I might pass out with relief. I was relief, relief so strong it border-lined on pain. Like when you have a tourniquet around your arm, the sensation of the blood flowing back. My life was flowing back. Now, everything mattered. "Bella!" I whispered.

"Edward," she breathed, smiling slightly. She closed her eyes, sighing. "Hey!" I almost shouted. "Hey, don't close your eyes, okay?" I pleaded with her, her brow furrowed and her lips pouted slightly.

"Why?" she croaked, her voice barely audible. "Because. You can't. You have to stay. Stay with me." Her eyes fluttered open. "I'll try," she mouthed.

"Okay. We need to get you out of here..." I glanced around anxiously. This battle wasn't over. Bella coughed and spluttered, dots of blood spotted around her mouth.

I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, the incapacitating fear that she wouldn't make it. "Where does it hurt most?" I asked urgently. Her breathing was shallow, laboured. I turned her body so she was lying on her side. "Sweetheart," I choked. "My ribs, my head." She mumbled, spitting out blood. "And...my hand," she added. I glanced down at what I had missed.

She had a deep gash along her palm. It was bleeding profusely, running in macabre ribbons of scarlet down her fingers.

"Hold on." I ordered her. "Just, hold on." I gingerly slid out from under her, frightened of causing her any more pain.

My clothes were drenched with blood, my hands were slippery with it. I found Bella's phone—it was shattered in pieces across the living room. "Fuck!" I muttered. I slid down to my knees. "I'm going to have to pick you up, Bella." I said regretfully. "No!" she protested weakly. "It hurts," she whimpered.

"I know, I know." I looked away, trying not to lose it. I was gathered enough to do this one thing. I needed to save her. She saved me, now I had to return the favour.

I tried as hard as I could not to jolt her, but I had to work as fast as I could. I had her in my arms then, I straightened my legs until I was standing with her in my arms.

She let out a little sob. "Hurry," she pleaded, tears running down her cheeks, mixing with the blood already there. I swiftly strode to my car, managing to open the door without putting her down. Her arms hung limp at her sides, but her eyes stayed open, mostly. I lifted her in, laying her down, letting the back of the passenger seat recline so she wouldn't have to bend her torso. I kissed her on the forehead, praying she would stay awake—praying I didn't fail again.

I darted around the front of the car, jumping in, not bothering with a seat belt. I flawed it down the highway, reaching the glaring bright lights of Forks hospital quicker than I thought possible. My heart was hammering in my ears, my face was sweaty and bloody, my clothes were, too. But Bella was doing worse.

Her hair was sticking to her face with the blood, she was breathing in quick, shallow pants, her hand shaking. Her eyes were closed. "Come on, Bella." I demanded. "Open your eyes, come on!" I touched her face, cupping her cheek. She wouldn't respond—she was fading, rapidly.

I grabbed onto her, pulling her out of the car. I had parked in the ambulance bay, just outside of the ER where I knew Carlisle was working tonight.

He was the best—I only wanted the best for Bella. Anyone else would never be good enough to take care of her properly. But I knew some people just couldn't be saved. I knew this. But, Bella? No. Like I said, the battle wasn't over, not yet. Without looking back or closing the doors,

I strode in, Bella's head lolling, her arms and legs limp, her breath slowing. I stepped into the fluorescent light, the people here stared, shocked. I didn't break stride. I walked straight past those people, past the administrator who looked sick at the sight of Bella—she could possibly know her.

"Come on, Bella. It's not that much further." I told her while I walked briskly, as quickly as I could without doing her more damage.

"Open your eyes!" I hissed, jogging through the automatic glass doors and into the ER itself. I searched the room. "Carlisle!" I shouted. He appeared from behind a curtain, looking surprised, seeing me and the almost-dead Bella in my arms then paling, his eyes widening.

"Quick! I need you!" I found an empty bed and placed her down. "What happened?" he demanded, his hands probing over her expertly. I grabbed Bella's hand, grasping it with all my strength. "Jacob Black." I whispered. He frowned, confused but kept working.

"Can we get a crash cart in here?" he ordered a nurse. She nodded, running off and bringing back a trolley with a big yellow and black machine on it. "Where is she hurt the worst, exactly?" His fingers reached her ribs then and she didn't make a sound.

"Bella, wake up." I choked. He lifted up her shirt, seeing the bruising, his jaw dropped. "Someone did this to her?" he asked. I nodded, still staring at her motionless face. I sucked in a breath, blinking the tears away. Carlisle hovered over her other side, more nurses came to aid, another doctor too, looking shocked and appalled at what they saw.

"Edward, I need you to do me a favour and go." He said, his voice full of calm authority, but I knew he was worried. I glared up at him.

"No, I can't just leave her—" I objected, my chest aching. "You need to see someone, too. You're hurt. I can't be distracted with you here." He said, eyeing me before placing a needle into Bella's arm. Another person was inserting a tube down her throat, others were trying to stop the bleeding.

"Carlisle—" "Do you want me to save her life?" he questioned, knowing the answer and using it against me.

I leant down then, kissing her cheek, my other hand brushing the hair back from her forehead.

"I love you." I sobbed, before backing away, another doctor pushed me aside, trying to sit me down on the bed on the opposite side of the room. I sat down, not taking my eyes off her. They worked and worked. I stared. "Her father," I said abruptly. "You need to call the Chief of Police."

I told whoever the person was who was treating me. "She is his daughter." I clarified, tears still running.

"He needs to know." He glanced over his shoulder, motioning for a nurse to come to him. "Please get on the phone to Chief Swan. Tell him his daughter is here." She nodded, gave me a worried glance and turned back away, jogging briskly over to the admin desk. I barely even felt the stitches, or the needle. No pain compared.

They were talking in swift voices, working as fast as they could to make her better. Carlisle snapped out some orders. I had never seen him in his element before. He was so in control. I was glad he was here...taking care of her...taking care of my life that lay in the bed next to him.

"He's in shock," someone murmured, like I wasn't here. "We should sedate him." Another suggested. I whipped my head around furiously.

"No." I said through gritted teeth. "I want to be awake." I seethed, turning back around to watch, but someone had pulled the curtain closed, cutting off my view.

"What's going on?" I demanded.

"I want to see her—" "Bella?" Charlie called from the entrance, looking around frantically.

He glanced in my direction and did a double take. He darted over to me. "Edward? What's going on? Where is she?" I glanced at the closed curtain, wishing it wasn't there.

Had I just had my last glimpse of her alive?

"Jacob Black." I said. He frowned, looking frustrated and confused.

"Take it up with him. He's responsible." I muttered darkly, hoping he was still lying in a pool of blood in Charlie's house.

"She's in there," I pointed, pulling my hands back and clawing at my face anxiously. "I need to see her," I said. Charlie's expression was panic stricken.

He walked over to the curtains and took a peek inside. "Oh god!" He choked, covering his mouth and looking away. A doctor came out then, leaving a small gap in the curtains but not enough. I stood up, someone's hand came down on my shoulder. "Get off me. I'm Carlisle's son." I growled. They let go. I went over to Charlie and the doctor.

He sighed, his face plain. He tore off a set of bloody gloves and I thought I was going to be sick. Another nurse walked out, and another, ripping off gloves.

"Bella," I whispered. "Oh no," I held my stomach with my hand, needing something to lean on.

"What's going on?" me and Charlie both demanded at the same time. The doctor stared up at us regretfully.

When he didn't answer I staggered around him, feeling my injuries now after the adrenaline had worn off. I stumbled past him, yanking the curtain open to find her lying there.

"Bella..." I whispered again, tears running.

**:D Loving the reviews. I like to know I can make people cry :) I mean, in a totally deep, intense way not a mean way, of course ;) **


	27. Bloodlust and Disappearing Phantoms BPOV

**Suspense. It's a bitch isn't it? Especially when the writer doesn't update for two days. My dearest apologies. :) And oh my god. If you don't already watch True Blood. I suggest you do. I'm onto the second season. Holy mofo. Anyways. I suggest throughout this chapter you listen to-"Breathe (2am) by Anna Nalick" through the dream sequence and "Lullaby by the Dixie Chicks" through the rest. Oh, just makes me all teary that song. Even if it is country. Hope you guys like this one. :)**

The darkness reappeared; it was pierced with a shining light. It glowed against my skin, warming me. I stared out at it.

_I was in a dreamscape. I wore the clothes I usually wear. I also wore the diamond bracelet on my wrist. I smiled at it—knowing what it represented. _

_But what I didn't know was where I was, or even how I got there. I stood in the middle of a meadow. It was night, the crescent moon glimmering like a coin in the dark sky. I stared...the stars seemed to move. They formed a shape. No, not a shape, a face. _

_Edward stared down at me, a small smile on his face. "Bella." He said, his voice echoing through the wide expanse of trees around the small clearing I stood in. There were wild flowers dotting the thick grass, swaying gently in the abnormally warm breeze. Abnormal for Forks anyway. _

_"Edward? What are you doing up there?" I asked, my voice echoing too. _

_He smiled my favourite smile. I couldn't help but smile back. "Why are you down there?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow. I shrugged. "I don't know..." I said, glancing around, unsure. Unsure of everything. What had I done to get here? "Edward, where am I?" he sighed, his eyes sad. _

_"A place where I'm not." I gulped. "What?" I asked, incredulous. "You're here with me now." I said, growing impatient. His face dissolved into passing clouds. "Edward!" I called out, feeling incredibly lonely in this unfamiliar place. "I'm right here." He said from behind me. "Oh, Edward!" I cried, running towards him. He caught me up in a tight hug. _

_"Bella," he murmured against my neck. "What?" I whispered back, my hands gripping his shoulders. "I love you." For some reason I was crying. "I love you, too, Edward." He sighed against my skin. A familiar voice echoed through the space we were embraced in. It was Edward's voice, but he was far away. "Do you hear that?" I asked, frowning, trying to concentrate on the voice—it was raspy, pained, not a usual tone for Edward. I closed my eyes. My neck hurt for some reason...my ribs...what was happening? _

_Memories flashed briefly before me. I leaned forward into Edward, only to stumble through air. _

_"Edward?" I called, the moon was obscured by the thick grey clouds, leaving me in total darkness. "You can't let him win." His voice told me. "Can't let who win?" I asked, desperate. _

_There was no answer. I took a deep breath...my wind blowing gently across my face. There was a shift in the climate then. The temperature dropped spontaneously. I shivered, the wind whipped relentlessly around me, almost knocking me over with it's force. A form emerged from the tress up ahead. _

_"Edward!" I called, running forward. "Why did you just leave me—" I fell back, stumbling to get away. I stood up, finding my balance. "Stay away from me." I warned. I picked up a heavy log to ward Jacob off with. He stared at me curiously, a smirk on his face. _

_"You can't hurt me anymore."I told him. "You're not winning." The expression on his face faltered, he frowned, seeming confused. He stepped out into the clearing with me. "Leave." I ordered, my voice strong and sure. I wasn't going to let him win. _

_This was my battle, and I was winning it. _

_"You can't take anything from me anymore. Now go." He walked forward then and I stood my ground, holding the log firm with both hands. _

_I stared him down, never blinking. His eyes looked panicked then. He turned away before his body erupted into a contorted mess. Fur sprouted from his skin, he was on all fours and he was...running away from me. I smiled, triumphant, watching his retreating form with pity. _

_I'm not sure he even deserved that. A hand encircled mine. I didn't have to look to know who it belonged to. I turned to stare into his eyes. "What do we do now?" I asked, perplexed as to how he kept showing up instantaneously. He dropped my hand, taking my face. _

_"Bella. Just, don't give up." He told me, his eyes anxious. I nodded. "I'll do anything for you." I admitted. He lips brushed mine then he was gone. I stared out across the empty space. I could hear his voice again, it was growing louder, as were other noises, other voices. _

_"What do you want me to do, Edward?" I yelled up to the sky which was growing faint...the moonlight was growing brighter. "Edward?" I yelled again. "Bella..." he whispered in my ear. I looked down at my hand, I could still feel his hand wrapped around it, even though he was no-where in sight. I frowned—what was going on? I sucked in a deep breath, closing my eyes. "Edward," I called to him. _

_"Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward." More noises, more pressure. "Edward, Edward, Edward!" I said frantically. I felt pulling and tugging at my body, something down my throat...my ribs! They ached painfully. My cheek...it was wet. I felt something else. I could feel the itchiness of blankets over me. _

_I could hear a faint beeping noise. What? I concentrated harder, not letting go. More pain...more noises...more light! _

_I broke through the surface._

My eyes were still closed but I was finally aware.

Aware of everything. I could remember. "I love you." Someone was mumbling close to my ear.

"I love you. I love you. You can't give up, remember? You have to stay." Edward said. I could distinguish his voice over anyone.

I prised my eyes open, they fluttered, my vision was blurry, the lights pierced brutally into my eyes.

"Edward," I whimpered. "Bella!" I felt the bed move, he was leaned over my face now. "Bella," he breathed. "Bella." I tried to focus on his face.

His eyes watched me—nothing but love and relief in them. I mustered a weak smile, breathing a sigh. "Edward." I murmured, my throat hurting.

"Where am I?" I asked, my eyes darting groggily around the place. I moved my head to get a better look. His hand came up to my face, his thumb stroking my cheek. "Hospital," he answered, gazing intensely, like he was afraid he was dreaming. I knew what that felt like.

He breathed deeply, he closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against mine.

"I thought I'd lost you." He whispered, his breath brushing my face. I reached my hand up to his face. "You'll never lose me. Not really. I'll always be with you." I promised. Tears welled up in my eyes. "I've missed you." I murmured. I could see his lips turn up. "You have no idea how good it is to hear your voice." I stroked his cheek with my thumb, too, comfortingly. "Being with me is painful, isn't it?" I smiled. He laughed once, humourlessly.

"I'd rather be in pain with you, than be numb forever. I need to feel, and pain is better than nothing.

Because with the pain, you also have this." He said, using his other hand to smooth my hair from my face. "How long do you think you'll be able to love me?" I challenged. "Is forever enough?" he asked. The tears spilled over. I sniffed. "Definitely," I smiled. I shifted my body and was met with stab of pain.

I gasped. "Oh," I huffed. "Ow," Edward looked alarmed. "Are you in pain?" He demanded. I nodded sheepishly. "Why didn't you say something?" he asked disapprovingly. I didn't say anything. I needed to experience what we just experienced. Moments like those are what you remember forever. I didn't really care about the pain, not much.

"Wait, Edward. Where's Charlie? Is he here?" I asked, worried about what Charlie would think of his house in a shambles. "Jacob?" I choked. Edward glanced at me, his eyes flat with darkness. "I haven't been back there. Charlie went to go get him. He may be...in need of medical attention. I don't know if he's beyond help or not." I swallowed loudly, nodding. "Thank you." I added sincerely. He looked at me then, his eyes softening, his mouth turning down in a sad grimace.

"You shouldn't be thanking me, Bella. I should have stayed with you." He scolded himself, sitting back down by the bed. He put his head in his hands. I reached out to him, my hand touching his hair.

"Edward, please. Stop it." I demanded, he lifted his head, his eyes were bloodshot and his face looked distraught. "Did he...did he, rape you?" he asked in a hard voice. I shook my head. He sighed; seeming only slightly relieved, took my hand and held it in his. "If I had been a moment longer..." he shook his head, unable to finish the thought.

"It should have been me beaten within an inch of death." My eyes widened.

"Edward!" my voice rose, but I also winced, my throat hurt really bad, bruised from where I had almost been choked to death.

"Edward," I said, lower, tears running. "Don't you ever say that. None of it matters anymore. I'm going to be okay, we're going to be okay." He frowned up at me, putting my hand to his cheek. I could feel the wetness of tears on his face. "I owe you my life." He scoffed. "_I _owe _you._ Much more than that." He said.

"What's going to happen now?" I wondered out loud. He took a deep breath. "I don't know." He answered truthfully. He was uncertain too.

"What I do know? Is that I'm never giving you up. You are my life now." I tried to blink back more tears. He stood up then and reached over to the red button you're supposed to click for more morphine. "Hey," I protested. "I want to see Charlie. I don't want to go to sleep." I whinged. "Charlie will be here when you wake up."

"Will you?" I asked, scared that he might not be. He nodded. "I'm not going anywhere." He promised, sitting back in his chair by my side. "How long have we been here?" I asked. He sighed. "It's around three in the morning," he answered softly. I pondered this. "Aren't you tired?" I eyed his drawn face speculatively.

He shrugged. "I didn't want to sleep, either. Not until I knew you were okay. I can stay here all night." I shook my head. Trying not to cause myself anymore pain, I gingerly scooted to one side of the hospital bed, facing away from Edward. I pulled the blankets back...sort of. "Come here." I said quietly.

I heard him stand up and shuffle across the linoleum floor to the bed. His arms wrapped around me, not too tightly but firm enough.

My head rested on his right arm, his left around my waist. "I'm so glad I haven't lost this." He said after a moment. I smiled.

"Yeah," I agreed. "Good night, Edward." I murmured against his hand that I held. I kissed his palm. I could feel his lips press against the top of my head, he leant down further, kissing my shoulder, then my cheek, then my temple. "I love you." He whispered into my hair. "Love you, too." I whispered, closing my eyes.

A thought occurred to me then. "Oh, Edward?" I asked. "Yes?" I sighed, preparing. "For the record, your parents..." I began.

"It wasn't your fault."

With that, the pain killers swept me up into a numb slumber, Edward's face buried in my shoulder.

***

When Charlie took me home at the end of that second week, I was feeling much better. Edward had categorised the incident into two groups of blame.

First, Jacob Black. Second? Himself. Even though I was acutely aware that without him, I wouldn't have my life, he still decided to drown in guilt. He wouldn't listen when I told him it had nothing to do with him, my attack, but he wouldn't have it.

So I gave up for the moment, feeling too tired to press the point, and let him be sorry for a while. Dr. Cullen had been my attending physician, so he was there a lot of the time, I got to know him better, too. He had informed me that two of my ribs were apparently broken.

My ankle broken, my throat bruised, a fracture to my clavicle—which in human speak means collar bone, and some lacerations to my face and abdomen. I took the fact that I was able to be here to hear the diagnosis as a plus. I had lived, when I thought for sure I wouldn't.

That I wasn't long for a future—for Edward. But I was. So I took anything I got, and felt happy to have it, whether it be a foot cast or a couple of stitches on my stomach. I had made Edward leave the room when they were doing that last thing. I had cried because of the pain, and that would only torment Edward more than need be.

Edward had suffered, tremendously, and not just this week, his entire life. On the brink of death, lying in a pool of my own blood, Edward had whispered his secret, afraid that he'd never get to tell me. I had been listening, and now I knew. We hadn't broached on the subject since my first night in hospital, I didn't want to rub salt in his wounds. But we would have to talk about it sooner or later, then I might get some answers I've been dying to know.

For example, why he thought my attack was punishment for his parent's accident. And, why he thought he deserved punishment for something like that in the first place.

My heart ached for him. He had been living like this the whole time, and I was so oblivious. I did know however, that he had been harbouring guilt, a dark secret. But I didn't want to push, just in case he thought he couldn't trust me. That would have broken my heart...again.

Edward practically carried me out of the hospital and into Charlie's cruiser. I told him I was fine to walk, I had the cast on, and it didn't hurt. But he insisted, sweeping me up off my bed and cradling me to his chest. I'd take this over a wheelchair any day. And by the looks that the women in the waiting room gave me, I'm sure they agreed. I smiled, closing my eyes and nuzzling my face against his neck. I gently kissed his throat and he chuckled.

"You're being highly inappropriate Miss. Swan. For goodness sake, your father is watching." He teased.

I grinned, kissing up and down his neck. He sighed. "Oh, Bella. You'll be the death of me." He murmured. I smiled, nipping his ear lobe.

He stiffened, clearing his throat. He placed me gently on the ground in front of Charlie's cruiser—Charlie already in place on the driver's side, perking an eyebrow at our antics. Edward loped over to the door, opening it for me. I smiled and pecked him on the cheek before slumping down in the seat—very ungracefully. He closed the door behind me and gave a knowing nod to Charlie. He nodded back and started the engine. Edward backed away from us, smiling at me.

"I'll call you when I get home." I nodded and sighed as the automatic window whizzed up between us. I turned, frowning at Charlie's innocent expression. We had gotten to the highway when he finally decided to speak. I knew it was coming, I hadn't prepared, but now was as good a time as ever.

Besides, we didn't have forever. "Bells?" I faced him. "Yeah?" He sighed, his eyes looking sad and confused. "What exactly happened? Why did he do it?" I looked down at my hands.

"You're not going to like it." I warned. "Isabella. I want to know." He was serious, using my full name. I sighed, swallowing the dry lump in my throat.

"It happened last Summer." I began. "I went to the Black's house. I had a fight with Jacob at Christmas and I was hoping to patch it up." My voice was getting shaky.

He wasn't travelling as fast now, it didn't matter though. The roads were practically deserted. "He told me he got a girlfriend and I was happy for him. But then I realised he was drunk. And he started making...passes at me." Charlie stared at me, wide-eyed.

"He what? Oh, Bella. I am so sorry. Why didn't you tell me?" He demanded. I closed my eyes and kept going on with the story instead of answering him.

"He said he was tired of being rejected." I shook my head.

"I forget what else he said, but..." Charlie was frowning at me and glancing at the road to make sure we weren't veering into the wrong lane.

I took a deep breath. _You can do this, Bella. You can do this. Because you've won._ I nodded to myself, willing my words to keep flowing. "He hit me and threw me down, Dad. He...raped...me." Charlie's foot stomped down on the brakes, the car's tyres screeched against the wet asphalt.

We spun a little, Charlie frantically turning the steering wheel so we ended up on the side of the road, out of the way of traffic. He turned to me then, his face incredulous...and pink. "He _raped you?"_ I nodded. "Oh my god." He groaned. "Oh my god." He repeated, breathless.

"Bella." He started calmly. "Please, please tell me that that is it?" he stared at me, his eyes wild.

I stared silently. I tried to articulate a response. "Five," Charlie went very still and wary. "Five, what?" he asked.

"It happened five times." I whispered, a tear fell. "Bella," he whispered, hurt and anxious. "Why didn't you tell me?" he asked, distraught.

"Why did you let me leave you alone with him?" I shook my head, not knowing an answer to that. Was it shame? "I don't know," I whispered back. "I guess, I thought he'd stop. I thought I could handle it...But..." I shrugged, more tears falling. Tears for what he had done to me, and tears for hurting Dad.

"I didn't want it to go between you and Billy. That's why I said I wasn't coming back after that summer. But after Billy died...What kind of person would I be if I said no?" I reasoned, frowning up at him helplessly. "You would be human!" He put his hand to his head, his other was clutching the steering wheel.

"I swear to god, if I had known..." his jaw tightened, his mouth turning down into a sad grimace. His eyes stared furioulsy, they looked hungry for vengeance--bloodlust. "Bella. You can tell me anything. You should have told me this!" I let out a sob.

"I'm sorry, Dad." I sniffed. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders, I could feel his body shake with tears, too. That just added more tears. "I'm sorry." I repeated.

"No!" he said sharply, sniffing and pulling away from me. "I'm sorry." He said, his eyes rimmed with red.

"You don't have anything to be sorry for!" he hissed, holding my shoulders tight in his hands. "You have to know that it is not your fault. It's mine! I let him _in my house!_ Those bruises.

_He gave you those bruises, didn't he?"_ he demanded. I nodded, wiping at my eyes. How often had I cried lately? An ocean's worth of tears. "You need to tell me these things.

_Especially_ if someone hurt you. _Especially!_" he choked out. I nodded, sobbing. "I will, Dad. I'm sorry if I hurt you by not telling. I was just...afraid." His lip trembled, he hugged my shoulders again. "If you are ever afraid, always tell me, okay? Do you promise?" I nodded against his leather jacket. "Okay," I answered in a broken tone.

He squeezed me then let go, sitting back against his seat. "You don't have to be afraid. You have every right to feel safe." He whispered. I nodded. I understood that now.

He sighed, rubbing the heels of his palms in his eyes. There was something I had forgotten about. Something that no-one had mentioned for an entire two weeks. I gulped, working up the courage, because it was somethin I had to know. The phantom of my nightmares. "Dad?" I croaked, he looked at me. "Dad, what happened to Jacob?"

**:D Love or Loathe? Let me know!!**

**I LOVE YOU GUYS THOUGH. 3**

**You are the bedsheets to my mattress. :)**


	28. Life, Death, polar opposites BPOV, EPOV

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight**

**This is a mixed POV. Bella and Edward's. :) hope you like R&R**

**It's 1:12am so, you know, I'm pretty awesome, right?**

EPOV

I took a deep steadying breath, feeling the tearing sensation whenever I would leave Bella.

Her and Charlie drove off now, I watched from inside my Volvo, feeling sad and missing her already.

I had barely left her side for two whole weeks. Each time I fell asleep, I was terrified that I had been dreaming her recovery, and that when I woke up, she'd still be unconscious—or still be lying dead on her living room floor. I glanced at my passenger side seat. The leather was smeared with dried blood. It smelled. But I hadn't cleaned it or even considered anything about myself for days. Carlisle and Bella had begged me to go home to sleep, and shower.

But I refused.

I used Bella's bathroom when she finally got a private room outside of the ER. But my worst fear of all—was Jacob Black appearing here. I both feared—and yearned for it. I had pulled Charlie aside before he went in to see Bella. He was cranky, he wanted to see her after he learned she was awake.

But I needed to know everything else. I glared out into the parking lot now, remembering everything he had told me.

Through clenched teeth and exhausted eyes, he explained that all that was left when he arrived home was a shattered coffee table, a ruined living room and a pool of blood—two of them, one belonging to Bella. That's when I truly hated myself. I should have killed him when I got the chance.

I sighed, knowing I would have to leave Bella to find him. I ached for revenge...the need to shatter his body, but I would rather stay with Bella, watch over her and hold her than commit the murder I so desperately wanted to commit. I stuck the key in the ignition and pulled out of the parking lot. I made it home before Carlisle.

He had told me he was on his way when we left. He probably got held up with another patient or some paperwork or something. Either way, he never got home when he said he would. I skipped up the steps and onto the porch. As I slowly, absent-mindedly wandered the house, I pondered how much I had changed in the past few months.

All changes were because of Bella. She had shown me life, awaken something in me that I considered dead. I wasn't living—she had resurrected me. I had a reason now.

That reason was her. I was sorry about a lot of things. Of letting Bella suffer like this, of letting my parents suffer like they did. But, I was not sorry for feeling what I did for Bella. I would never regret what I felt. Not in a million years. It felt like I had been this way for a million years. I don't remember the thrill of life before now.

What the point was. What filled the void that Bella now filled. I had always been missing something, not knowing until that hole was occupied.

I slumped down on the couch, kicking my shoes off and grabbing the phone off the charger. I dialled Bella's home number, she picked up after two rings. "Hello?" she answered, her voice a little hoarse, like she had been crying. "Bella? What's wrong?" She sighed.

"Nothing. I just told Charlie about...about everything." My eyes widened. "Oh," was the only response I could come up with. "Yeah," she muttered.

"But, everything is fine now." I didn't believe her voice. "I know, by the way." I froze.

"Excuse me?" I asked cautiously. "I know he's still out there." She murmured sadly. I took a deep breath.

"I didn't want you to find out." I said. "There's no need for you to be frightened. Charlie and I are going to take care of you, don't worry about that." She sighed.

"Okay." I smiled slightly, still worried about her. "Do you think, maybe you could come over? Charlie has to work. And he doesn't want to leave me alone." she said. My smile widened. "Absolutely." I told her. "I'll be there in ten." "I love you." She murmured. "I love you, too." "Hurry." She added. I hung up and pulled my shoes back on, quickly scrawling a note to Carlisle and skipping out the door, locking it behind me. Without even thinking, I was at Bella's house under ten minutes, feeling surprised how quick I could get here.

"Bella?" I called, closing the door and walking over the lawn. Charlie's cruiser was gone—he obviously left already. I hopped up the steps, looking guiltily over the new wooden door that had replaced the old one. I knocked twice. No answer. So I opened it anyway. "Bella?" I shouted up the stair case, frowning.

I took my jacket off and stowed it on the coat rack by the door. I glanced sideways into the kitchen, and then into the living room—feeling a sick sense of déjà vu. I shuddered and hesitantly started climbing the stairs. "Bella? Where are you?" I called again nervously. Still not a peep.

I pushed open her bedroom door and stepped in. Empty. I was worried now. The bathroom was empty, all the rooms were empty. I ran downstairs, checking the window to see if her truck was still here. It was. I found my way to the back door.

My breathing stopped.

***

The screen door slammed noisily behind me. I didn't dare move an inch. My muscles tensed—they were anticipating the fight. But I held back. I held back because if I didn't, she would pay. And I couldn't have that. I knew what he was here for. It wasn't really to do with her this time, although that served as leverage—and _fun._ So he did so, teasing me with his bargaining chip. My Bella. She stared at me, her eyes wide but didn't hold the terror I had thought they would.

"Bella," I choked. "Shutup!" he hissed. I growled incomprehensibly in his direction, watching him pace in front of Bella.

He had a limp, but he had been to a doctor about his wounds, probably before Charlie raised the alarm about it. He held a knife at his side. Bella was kneeling on the grass behind him. He looked deranged—severely. He bit his lip, glancing wildly between the two of us. "Let her go," I ordered, glaring at him.

He smirked, seeming to lose some of the crazy then gain it all back when he skirted around Bella, coming up behind her and grabbing her by the hair. I took an involuntary step forward. "Hey! No you don't!" he warned, the tip of his rusty knife resting on Bella's bruised neck. She didn't look scared now either—she looked determined.

"Get your fucking hands off of her." I snarled, already planning ways to take him down. "No." He answered simply, cockily. "I want you to watch me fuck her." He sneered. The rage boiled deep inside my chest, threatening to explode in a full blown catastrophe. Bella's eyes flashed with unbridled fear. The fear I had sworn she would never have to feel again.

I lunged forward, tackling Jacob to the ground. We scuffled until I got the upper hand, peeling the dagger from his grasp. Bella staggered to her feet.

"Edward!" she squealed as we rolled over and over on the dried leaves and sticks. I punched him across the face when I was on top o f him, letting blood spatter from his mouth. He had fresh bruises from when I had pummelled him two weeks ago. As did I, but mine were almost healed. "Go!" I yelled at her.

"Go get help!" I demanded. I couldn't hear her moving away. Jacob rolled us over, standing up and running for Bella. I stumbled upright—my anger growing.

My breathing was laboured. He picked up the knife as he went. I sprinted, tackling him, his head hit the wall. He growled, trying to shove me off.

Bella ran inside. Good. I could keep him away from her better this way. That was until she came running back out. "Bella! Go back inside!" I yelled. She flinched, I flinched at her flinch. But I didn't have time to feel guilty about that yet. I laid another punch into Jacob's face. He was strong, he pushed me off onto the grass behind me. I fell on my back.

"Edward! Look out!" Bella screamed. She ran forward then. "Bella! No!" I shouted. She kicked him in the back of the legs. His knees gave way. "You fucking bitch!" he spat, wielding the knife in her direction. I snarled. "Please, Bella! Go!" I practically begged. She shook her head steadily. I heard cars off in the distance...and sirens. Bella had called Charlie. "Busted." I whispered. His face grew even wilder. I dodged the knife as it came down, only to stab the dirt. I managed to get to my feet.

"Drop the knife." I told him. "Make it easy." I suggested. He glowered into my eyes. "Fuck. You." I glared back, breathing heavily. I was aware of Bella standing behind him. I met her eyes, silently telling her to move, to stay back. But she wouldn't. She was bent on making me go insane. He came forward then, knife held firmly in his right hand.

I tripped on a tree root. Bella sucked in a breath.

"Edward!" she screamed. The knife came down...

BPOV

Death. It comes so often.

It happens to the best and the worst. I had experienced death.

Had come close to it so many times that I couldn't care to count anymore. It was also a part of life. Life and death. Polar opposites, without one, you can't have the other.

Like with many other things. It can be slow, it can be quick, it can be tragic...or unexpected.

It is always a shock. It always affects someone. I remembered going to my grandma's funeral. She had died when she was seventy eight. I loved her so much. I had cried non-stop for an entire week after I Renee had told me. I was sixteen when it happened. She had died peacefully.

In her own home, in her own bed. Death is never pleasant. But the way it had been described, it sounded like the best way to die was in your sleep when you're old and you've lived a long and fulfilling life. When you're ready to leave this world. Like I said, it wasn't pleasant, but it is easy.

The opposite of easy? Hard. Life is hard. Life is hard for the people that live. The people that the death affects.

Crying was natural at funerals. But I couldn't find it in me. Could I still be in shock? I wasn't sure. It wasn't like at Grandma's funeral. It was vastly different, for obvious reasons. I stood at the back, not wanting to see inside the coffin. I don't think I could. Where was the point in doing so? I didn't see it.

So, I stayed motionless as stone and stared, not listening, not seeing—anything. That morning, I had been getting ready for today. I had laid out my clothes the night before. A black dress and cardigan. I tied my hair up and put on some black flats. I had been zipping the dress up in the mirror when I caught sight of it.

I hadn't been out there since it happened. I caught a glimpse of where it happened. The grass there was still stained red with blood, spots of it covering a square couple of feet of ground. The sight of it made me feel sick. I had quickly closed my blinds, hating the sight of it. I didn't know if I would ever get used to it.

We got to the cemetery before anyone else, but I still sat the furthest away. I didn't want to be seen by anyone. Instead, I stared up into the sky...the sun was out, for once. It was rare. Like being set free. The sun on my pale skin felt relaxing. I wanted to bask in it forever.

I looked down into my lap, where my fingers were fidgeting with my purse.

The sun glittered against the diamond heart on my wrist. I watched with fascinated awe. I moved my wrist to make the reflected light dance on every surface. I wondered distantly what the after-life was like—if there was one. I liked to think so. I hoped so. I hoped very much. But I would never know, not until I breathed my last breath.

I played with the clasp on the bracelet, spinning the chain around my wrist absent-mindedly. I went back to fidgeting with my purse, not being able to keep my hands still. A hand covered mine, settling the movement. I took a deep breath, settling my stomach and the uneven beat of my heart.

I had forgotten loss, I had forgotten death, I had forgotten everything. I gazed up at Edward. He frowned back at me, concerned.

I gave him a half-hearted smile. When the sermon began, he took my hand in his, holding it tightly, kissing my palm. Everything was fine. I passed the coffin at the end of the ceremony, staring past the body inside. I didn't say anything, nor did I shed a tear. I just stared past it, letting go of everything. Letting go of the hate, the fear, the memories.

I was light, weightless. Edward held my hand the entire time, never letting go. For that I was grateful. I had seen Jacob's lifeless body that day when he died. But, seeing it again was too much. The moment replayed in my mind with perfect clarity.

_I sucked in a breath. "Edward!" I screamed after he fell back. Jacob's hand came forward and I screamed. The sound of my scream was thwarted by that of a gunshot. _

_I whirled, my mouth hanging open in shock. Charlie stood at the back door, his gun held up in front of his face, one eye closed, one eye focussed. He didn't miss. _

_Jacob collapsed onto the grass beside Edward. I cried out loud, stumbling over to him. "Edward!" I sniffed. "Are you okay?" He looked at me, shocked. "Yeah," he answered. I helped him to his feet, grasping onto his body, searching for any signs of injury. He winced when I touched his face. _

_"Bella, are you hurt?" he asked then. I shook my head, not fully gauging the situation before us. _

_I watched as Charlie strolled over to Jacob's body, the colour leeched from his skin. He sighed, gingerly taking the knife out of his hand. He squatted beside him, staring at his face regrettably. "Where did Billy do wrong?" he whispered as if he expected an answer. But the thing was, Billy didn't go wrong. _

_He raised Jacob like a lot of other parents do. It isn't always that that defines who you are. Jacob was one in his own. He was a singular person, one being, who made his own decisions. They just happened to be the wrong ones. Exceptionally wrong. "Dad," I whispered, not moving forward. I couldn't go any closer. _

_"'I'm so sorry you had to do that." I breathed, tears brimming. He shook his head, standing up and walking to me. "It was necessary." He said. _

_His eyes were glassy, and I knew it hit him hard to have to do that, even if it was to save me. It would have been hard for me, too. But, I couldn't really concentrate on him at the moment. When I saw the knife come down for Edward, I thought for sure my dream was coming true. I was losing Edward, and I had been terrified. So terrified. I clung to him for the rest of the day. _

_He clung to me, too. We didn't want to say goodbye or goodnight. Edward slept on the couch in our living room. _

_I woke up early, not really able to sleep and lay there on the sofa with him. _

We strolled to Edward's Volvo, deciding I didn't want to stay for the wake. Instead of dropping me off at home, we drove to Edward's house.

He led me in and up to his room. I was vaguely aware of where we were going. He sat me down on his bed and I cracked. "Bella," he soothed, holding me to his chest.

"Bella, please don't waste your tears on him. He doesn't deserve them." I sniffled. "It's not that," I reassured him. "I'm just so...relieved." I admitted.

"I know it sounds horrible. But I can't help it. I don't have to feel afraid anymore." I whispered. He smiled crookedly. "No, you don't. And you don't have to worry about my feeble attempts to protect you, either." I looked up at him. I sat up, kneeling on the bed. I pushed him so he was lying down. I lied down beside him, resting my head on his chest.

"You did more than enough." I said sincerely. I could almost hear him roll his eyes, but he didn't fight the subject. "Edward?" "Mmm?" I sighed, propping my face up on my elbow so I could see his face. "I meant what I said that day." He frowned. "It wasn't your fault." I whispered. His eyes grew sad. "You loved them, more than anything. Your guilt and shame is unjust.

You have to stop believing you are being punished. You have nothing to be punished for." I told him fiercely.

"You deserve happiness, whatever way you want it." I caught a tear at the corner of his eye with my finger tip. I pulled myself up to his chin, kissing him tenderly on the lips.

"I love you, Bella." He said against my lips. "I love you, Edward." I smiled, then caught his bottom lip between mine. I shifted so I was directly on top of him.

His hands moved slowly down my sides as our lips moved together. They glided over my arms, my waist, my hips. He pulled my knees up to his hips, his hand moving back upwards, wrapping around my waist. My breathing was loud—I couldn't help it, and so was his, so I didn't feel like a weirdo. He rolled us over then, hovering over me.

My legs wrapped around his torso. This moment felt so right...in so many ways. I wanted him to myself, he wanted me to himself. We wanted each other, we needed each other. The kissing progressed. My tongue dragged across his lips and into his mouth. His tongue did the same to me, mirroring my moves.

My nervous hands moved to his shirt, practically trying to rip it off I was so shaky. He realised what I was doing and he stopped.

"Bella," he whispered against my lips. "Mmm?" I responded, intoxicated. "Not now...not after...you know. I want it to be planned. Special." I frowned up at him.

"That is _so_ cheating!" I scolded him. He grinned, kissing up and down my neck. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lay back down then, so we faced each other on the bed.

We stared and stared until my eyes grew heavy. Darkness fell outside before I knew it.

I fell asleep, Edward's arms around me once more.

**Isn't Edward just a doll. :) I love him. LOL. Did I scare anyone with the start of Bella's POV. Did anyone think Edward had died?**


	29. Sealing Forever EPOV BPOV

**When you reach the prom scene, listen to "Flightless bird, american mouth--by Iron & Wine" Just to keep with the theme from the movie. It goes well.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Hope you like this one, guys. :)**

EPOV

I woke up with a start. Where was I?

Oh, right. Home. Bella was sleeping soundly against me, her hair messy and tangled.

I smiled, rubbing at my eyes. I glanced at the alarm clock by my bed. It was nine pm. Charlie would be wondering where Bella was. I sighed, gazing down at her relaxed form. She looked so peaceful. I played with a strand of wayward hair on her shoulder, not wanting to wake her up.

"Bella," I whispered, leaning down to kiss her cheek. "Bella, honey." I murmured, rubbing her arm.

She stirred, groaning and rolling over to her other side, facing away from me. I chuckled. "As much as I want you to stay, I'm sure Charlie doesn't. He'll be wondering where you are." I reminded her. "Come on," I talked louder, standing up stiffly. My clothes were rumpled and they smelt like Bella, her shampoo.

She groaned again, pulling the pillow over her ear. "I don't want to go..." she moaned. I changed my shirt while she complained.

"I just want to sleep," I shook my head, running a hand through my hair. "Bella..." I sang softly. I knelt by the side of the bed, her face obscured by her haystack hair—I liked it. "Do you want me to carry you?" She blew her hair out of the way so she could stare at me. "No," I grinned and stood up.

I leant down and scooped her up in my arms. "Hey! I am perfectly capable of walking." I perked an eyebrow. "You sure about that?" I challenged. She nodded, her jaw set. "Okay." I sighed, placing her feet back down. She shuffled over to the door, putting her shoes back on. "Alright, Edward. You can take me home." She murmured groggily. I smirked at her acid tone. She could be quite angry after waking up. She dragged her feet a little, hopping down the stairs.

On the very last one, her foot fell through the gap, bending the wrong way. I sucked in a breath, catching her before her head came into contact with the steel banister. She let out a blood curdling scream. "Shit, fuck!" I muttered, gingerly pulling her leg out of the gap between the steps, pulling her body up into my arms. "Shh," I tried to hush her crying. She grasped my shirt, wailing in pain. "Ow, ow, ow. It fucking hurts!" she cursed. "Don't worry, we'll go get it fixed up."

I promised, stalking toward the front door, kicking it open and starting towards me car.

The whole routine felt familiar—I should have 911 on speed dial, for Bella, anyway.

"Argh! I think I actually broke it again." She sobbed. She took deep, calming breaths, gritting her teeth.

"Keep breathing slowly, okay. Relax, I'll take care of everything." I said as I placed her in the passenger seat. I carried her straight into the ER again—straight to Carlisle. I could see on his face that he almost had a heart attack, seeing me carry Bella through the ER, again. It probably looked so familiar to last time.

I placed her down on a cot, she gripped my hand with all her strength, which happened to be heightened when she was in pain.

I stroked her face and let her abuse my hand while Carlisle put a splint on her leg. It was swollen and red. "Okay, now Bella. How does that feel?" Carlisle asked, gently squeezing her toes. "It just hurts, doc." She answered truthfully. "I can still feel my toes, it just fucking hurts!" she hissed. Carlisle chuckled.

"Sorry, Bella. It's all standard procedure. I have to ask you the stupid questions." She cracked a pained smile. "I'm sorry, Dr—Carlisle." She corrected herself, slumping back down on the bed, gripping my hand tighter. I bit my lip, trying not to laugh—even though she was in pain. She was being rather blunt. It was amusing.

"Now," he began after twenty minutes. "You're going to have to wear a cast for the next couple of weeks. I'll also write you a prescription for the pain. And, I think you should stay the night." He suggested. She scowled at the green curtains around us. "Can't I go home? I won't walk until tomorrow, I promise." Carlisle considered this. "I suppose..."

"Yes!" She looked at me expectantly. "Come on. Lets go!" she said enthusiastically. "Are you high?" I laughed. She shrugged. "Carlisle gave me something before...thanks by the way—I can barely feel it." She started to move her legs, dangling off the bed to slide down. I grabbed her legs and hoisted her up. "No walking." I reminded her.

"Oh, yeah." She giggled. I shook my head. "Come on, loopy." I said, carrying her out. I picked up the prescription slip for Bella, and stuffed it in my pocket. "Why were you afraid to love me?" she asked suddenly. I was taken aback. The question had risen out of nowhere. I glanced at her. "Afraid of loving you? I'm not." I said. She frowned.

"No, silly. I'm talking about that day behind your house. When we kissed, you told me to leave, like your were scared you'd done something wrong." I frowned.

"You're surprisingly intuitive when you're drugged out." I observed. "Enough with the evasiveness." She snapped. I sighed. "I was scared...because, I thought I would lose you." She stared at me. "That's a pretty lame excuse." She said scathingly. I chuckled. "It's not just that. It was because I thought I hadn't been punished for my parents. And I thought the universe was sending me you, so it could take you away from me again. I wouldn't be able to survive that." I said frankly, my voice hard.

"And, I didn't want you to pay. I somehow knew that the way I felt and still feel about you would destroy me in the end. I was certain I would pay through losing you in some way. I was terrified." I explained. She watched me with sad eyes. "You were trying to protect me?" she squeaked. I nodded. "I fell in love with you before then.

I had been planning to break off our friendship." She glared at me, her mouth hanging open. "It was because I was already falling for you.

But when you told me...I knew I had gone far beyond just a little crush. I couldn't find it in me to leave. I needed you—every single day."

"You can have me every single day." She said. I smiled down at her. "I'm glad." She laughed—the sound was melodic. "You don't still blame yourself, do you?" I shook my head.

"You made me understand." I told her. "When you were almost...killed," I got the word out eventually, through a strained voice. "I thought that for certain I was to blame, and that it was what I deserved. But you made me understand. You made me see that we found each other for the same reasons. To heal each other. You came to me, to take away the guilt I felt, to help me heal. To awaken a feeling in me, one that I never thought possible." She sniffed, dabbing at tears.

"You made me understand, too. That I am still who I am. I define myself, nobody else does. And he never did. You made me feel like myself again, you made me feel beautiful, whole, not damaged. You protected me. You made me feel love—something far beyond any of my imaginings."

The car came to a stop outside Charlie's house. She grimaced, breathing in deeply. "Does it hurt?" I asked warily. "Nope." She shook her head. I rolled my eyes.

"Sure." I stepped out and dashed over to her side. "Come on then," I said, pulling her arm over my shoulder and wrapping my arm around her waist and under her legs. I closed the door with my foot, hoping I didn't scratch it with any gravel stuck in my shoes. She sighed sadly then.

"What's wrong?" I asked. "I have to wear this stupid thing to school." She pointed at her foot.

"Don't worry, I'll be there to help you." I grinned. She rolled her eyes then, the morphine obviously wearing off now.

"You'll have to wear skirts, or something to school." I noted.

She looked horrified. "Over my dead body." I glared. "Very funny." I said sarcastically. She opened the door for us, I walked in sideways so I didn't hit her head against the wooden frame. "You're wearing a dress now." I observed, staring pointedly at the black dress she had on. "Yeah, but, I don't wear dresses to school." She said. I chuckled.

"I guess not. Well, it kind looks like you don't have a choice." She groaned.

"This is so gay." She whinged. I laughed out loud then.

"Uh, what's going on?" Charlie asked from the couch, eyeing my arms around his daughter. I cleared my throat. "Bella broke her ankle at my house. She can't walk for a few days." I informed him. Bella scowled. "Actually, just till tomorrow." She corrected. I sighed.

Charlie laughed. "Well, you keep off it, then." He said, turning back to the T.V. "Thanks for your concern, Dad." I laughed while I started up the stairs.

"Bella you almost broke my hand." I stated as I sat her down on the edge of the bed. She bit her lip and smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. It just..._really _hurt." She explained. I nodded. "Yeah, I kinda guessed." She smiled then winced, taking a deep breath. "I'll get you some Tylenol." She nodded.

"Thank you." She called while I wondered into the bathroom, browsing through the cabinet and producing a small bottle of pills and a glass of water.

I handed them to her. "Thanks," she murmured, popping three pills and sculling the water. "It's till going to hurt until we get you the proper pain medication," I warned her.

"We'll get it tomorrow." She said. "It is a Sunday, after all." I nodded. Yes, it was a Sunday. And this week also held some significance. It was prom on Friday.

I smiled to myself. Prom. I was taking Bella to prom, I had gotten agreement from Alice and Charlie. Alice was in charge of getting her the dress.

Feigning interest in bookstores just to get Bella to step foot in a mall. That was yesterday, before the funeral today, and Bella needed to be cheered up, anyway.

Alice had tricked her into trying something on, completely oblivious as to the reason why she was getting a formal dress.

She just assumed it was because Alice was so extravagant, always buying things she would never get to wear in everyday life.

I sat on her bed beside her, taking her hand in mine, playing with the diamond heart on her wrist.

BPOV

"Alice, why the hell am I doing this?" I groaned, trying to stand straight and not fidget while she zipped up my dress.

That's right. My dress. Sigh. I had graciously gone shopping with Alice when she begged me to, after dangling a book shop bribe in my face. We only ended up going to one—and we barely stayed for over ten minutes. "Bella, relax. Anyone would think I was squeezing lemon juice in your eyes. It's _not that bad._"

She crooned. I rolled my eyes at her through the mirror I was in front of, trying not to look at my own reflection—which was pretty hard when you wore something like I was. I admit, it was beautiful, expensive, delicate and graceful—not me at all. That was my observation, however, Alice believed otherwise.

"Okay, you're done. Now it's makeup time." I frowned incredulously.

"You said nothing about makeup, Alice." I accused. She shrugged and grinned. "Too late, you already agreed. No turning back now." She grinned wider, absolutely enjoying my uneasiness. She took me by the shoulders and sat me down, this time I wasn't in front of a mirror—for that I was glad.

Alice stood in front of me, pulling out a bag that was crammed full of accessories. We were at Alice's house, in her bathroom. This gratuitous torture was like heaven on freaking earth to Alice. She hummed cheerfully as she prepared her makeup crap. I suppressed another groan. She might let me out on good behaviour.

I thought sardonically, that it was a lot like a prison in here. "Now, close your eyes." I glared up at her.

"We can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I will use force, believe you me. You're still an invalid, remember?" I sighed, and closed my eyes. She was right, after all. I still had the cast on, although it didn't hurt anymore. She had graciously volunteered to help me in whatever way she could while I was...disabled.

I cringed at the thought of asking dad to help me shower. So, Alice filled that position. Charlie always loved Alice, now more than ever. So, I let her so called pampering continue.

"I love this." She sang. "Alice, what is this all for anyway? I know you know more than I do, so don't try to give me the same excuse Edward did." I heard her shift her weight, uncomfortable with my interrogation. I opened my eyes, she was biting her lip, avoiding my gaze.

I knew how she loved to gossip, it was probably hard to keep secrets, especially exciting ones. "Alice, tell me what you know." I demanded slowly. Her eyes shifted away from my face, her lips pursed. "Do you want liquid or pencil liner?" she asked innocently. "Where am I going tonight?" I grilled. She shrugged.

"I don't know..." she swallowed loudly and went back to brushing stuff on my eye lids. I sighed loudly. "Besides, you're not supposed to know." She reasoned. I wanted to roll my eyes. I hated surprises...especially when they involved pretty blue dresses, makeup, heels and hot curlers.

Alice moved behind me to start on my hair then. I didn't open my eyes, afraid I would lose it and scream at the atrocity Alice called fashion. I could feel her pulling and tying and curling my hair until it suited her tastes.

"There!" she declared.

"Done." I could even hear her grinning. "You look beautiful, Bella." Her voice shook. I opened my eyes.

"Alice? What's wrong?" I asked, concerned. "Why are you crying?" She just waved her hand.

"Nothing. You just look so magnificent." She breathed. I snorted. "Alice," I moaned. "Stop it, you're going to make _me_ cry." She laughed then.

"I tend to do that a lot, don't I?" she smiled through the tears. I cracked a smile. "Yes, you do." I agreed, getting to my feet.

"Okay, Alice. I know you had the perfect outfit in mind, but..." I looked down at the shoe—one shoe on my good foot. "I can't wear this." I sat back down, untying the blue ribbons. "Alright," she grumbled. "I'll give you veto on shoes." She sighed, resigned. I grinned.

"Yay," I hobbled out to her bedroom and grabbed the shoe I wore here. My blue Converse All Stars. I smiled happily as I put it on my left foot.

"There," I said, admiring my favourite shoes. They were durable, reliable and safe—everything I needed to walk, even after that it was difficult.

Alice grimaced at my choice. I told her to shut up. "You said I had veto," I explained. "Veto counts as anything. So there." I stuck my tongue out at her.

"Fine!" she threw her hands up into the air in exasperation. I grinned and got wobbly to my feet. "Okay," I breathed. "I suppose I'm ready." Alice clapped. I was clearly and easily forgiven. "Oh my god, I can't wait for him to see!" she almost squealed. She opened her bedroom door and called down the stairs.

"Edward?" I waited. "Yeah?" he sounded closer now. "You need help or something?" he wondered, I could hear his foot on the bottom step.

"No! You'll ruin the entrance!" she said quickly. "Just stay down there and close your eyes!" she ordered in her high-pitched voice.

I sighed and waited by the door. I had to hand it to Edward, he was willing enough to work with Alice.

She grabbed my hand and led me out to the stairs.

I stood at the top, looking down at him. I couldn't hold back the giant grin—and _my god_, he looked amazing. He was polished and sharp in his tux. If it weren't for Alice holding my hand and the fact that we were in someone else's house...well, I don't know what I would have done.

I probably would have torn his clothes off with my teeth. I frowned to myself for a moment. That was highly inappropriate thought; however my thoughts were private, so I was free to think what I wanted. I grinned again as I descended. Edward's eyes were still closed, his perfect lips—the lips only I could kiss—were turned up in an excited smile.

We stopped mid-stairs, almost stacking it. A giggle escaped my lips. "Okay, Edward." Alice consented. His eyes opened and he stared up at me. His smile faded, and his mouth hung open, his eyes bugging out. I smiled down at him and Alice led me to the bottom where he stood, slack-jawed. "You look...exquisite." he breathed.

And, on cue, my cheeks flared.

I ducked my head, embarrassed. His finger came under my chin, lifting my face to look at him. He was grinning, his eyes bright. He was shaking his head. "Alice. You're a genius." He commended. I thought he was going to start applauding her—no doubt that would send Alice into a field day.

She didn't need an even more inflated ego. I smiled at Alice then turned my attention back to him.

He escorted me to the car, opening my door before getting in, himself. "Okay," I started. "This is getting ridiculous, what on earth are we doing, Edward?" I demanded. He looked at me incredulously and laughed. "You really haven't worked it out yet?" he laughed. I smacked his arm.

"I'm serious. Where the hell are we going?" I complained, my voice squeaking. He chuckled.

"You'll work it out, soon enough." He answered. "Argh!" I collapsed back into the seat, huffing. I chewed on my lip, thinking about it.

Then, the truth dawned on me as we pulled into the school parking lot. Ribbons, and dresses, tuxes and silk...flowers on lapels.

"Prom!" I exclaimed, furious. Edward jumped and stared at me as he eased the car into a space. "Bella, calm down. It's not going to be the end of the world." He promised. I didn't see how. I crossed my arms over my chest stubbornly. He narrowed his eyes at me, a sly smile creeping across his lips. His hands shot out toward me, tickling my stomach and arms. I couldn't help but laugh even though I was outraged. "Stop it! Stop it!" I begged breathless. He just did it more, laughing along with me.

"I will kill you," I giggled, tears forming. "I'm serious, Edward! Please!" I laughed harder. He stopped then and got out, coming around to my door. I thought about locking it, but that would be beyond childish. And that's exactly what I did. I locked the door. He glared through the window at me, his head cocked to the side.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked it. I pouted. "Bella. I want to enjoy this with you. I want to be a teenager with you, act like a kid, forgetting about the problems we've had to deal with in our past that are beyond our years." I frowned and groaned. "You play dirty." He grinned, triumphant. Grabbing my hand and putting it around his shoulder so he could lift me from the car.

"Alice!" I hissed as I caught sight of her with Jasper. She jumped, surprised, caught my death glare then smiled sheepishly, waving. "She is going to pay." I stated calmly.

"Oh boy, will she pay." Edward chuckled, amused at my obstinate attitude. Edward spun me around, dragging me onto the dance floor—the gym. I raised an eyebrow.

"Are you kidding? Do you want me to break a second ankle?" He smiled that crooked smile and I couldn't find it in me to argue.

Dazzled and breathless, I let his snake his arms around my waist. He pulled me closer, when he let me go, my feet landed on top of his—and we were off.

Dancing in perfect swirls, far better dancing than the rest. I gaped. "I didn't know you could dance." He smiled again and shrugged. I placed my hand on his shoulder, my other hand in his.

It was effortless, because he was perfect and because I wasn't doing anything other than acting as a counter-weight. Rosalie gave me a knowing nod as we passed her and Emmett. I nodded back, grinning. It was actually quite fun—wait, did I think prom was fun? I shuddered.

"Cold?" Edward smiled. I shook my head.

"Nope. I'm fine." I grinned. "You sure are fine." He said, raking his eyes over my dress. He glanced around then, frowning.

"What is it?" I asked, trying to follow his glaring. "Just making sure no-one's staring at you." I laughed. "Right." He looked down at me, his eyes wide.

"You have no idea, do you?" I frowned. "Of what?" He nodded to a group—the basketball team, Mike included—gawking at us. "They're probably just jealous of your tux or your pro dancing skills." He rolled his eyes. "Yeah, mhmm. That's got to be it." He answered sarcastically, spinning us around so his back was to them.

"I want to be the only one who can admire you. I can be a very jealous person." I snorted. "Well, so can I." I nodded to a couple of girls—well, more like the cheerleading team—undressing Edward with their eyes from the bleachers. He chuckled.

"They're probably just jealous of your dress, or your dancing skills—well, maybe just your dress." I laughed.

The floor was getting crowded, so we retired to the campus outside. Edward carried me effortlessly across the damp grass under the moon.

We could hear the music vaguely from where we stood, out on flat part of grass outside the gym. There were garlands of fairy lights around, twinkling beautifully in contrast to the dark foliage they were wound into. Edward started spinning us around slowly, dancing along slowly with the melody. I smiled up at him.

His eyes roamed over my face, and landed on my neck, he frowned.

I felt self-conscious, I had almost fully covered up the bruise on my neck with my little cardigan, pulled up close to my throat.

Edward let me down on my own feet then and took my face in his hands, they slid down to my neck, pulling the soft fabric away and leaving it down.

We swayed a little to the music, my hand in his, held over his chest. He spun me around in a pirouette. I spun back to him, his hands guided me back till I was leaning almost to the ground. His mouth came to my neck, kissing the spot where Jacob had left his mark. From then, it wasn't his mark anymore. Edward lifted his face to meet mine.

"I can't believe I've found you." I blushed, leaning forward till our lips were inches apart. "So soon in my life, too." He went on. "My life _started_ when I met you." I whispered.

He smiled, his eyes half closed, he leaned our foreheads together, lifting me up with his arms around my waist. "I was lucky. Most people don't have this." He squeezed me tighter. "We don't have forever." He said regrettably. I smiled. "See, that's where you're wrong. With you, I _have_ forever."

I leaned in closer till our lips met, sealing the night--our piece of forever--with a kiss.

**:'( I love you guys. Whoever had enough patience to read this. You are the awesomest. And this is my last chapter to this story. I have finished. Which is both good and bad. It feels like the last day of school, man. BUT, I will be making another story. Quite soon, like in the next couple of days. Hope you will check it out.**

****BIG FUCKING HEART** to Twig and Meg. ;) you guys deserve hugs for reviewing me so much. :)**


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